The night of the Run-Out and myriad annoyances

... not the least among them being the fact that India lost despite turning in their best bowling/fielding performance in over a year and a half.

I'll get there soon.

So, okay, I haven't blogged in a while, right? I've got several totally valid (seriously) reasons for that:

a. I'm lazy.

b. I haven't watched a cricket match in its entirety since India toured West Indies in July.

c. Apparently, studying to become a doctor is about as tough as it sounds.

d. I'm lazy.

e. India didn't play for a long time and the Ashes were yawn-worthy.

f. ... did I mention I'm lazy?

But really, the thing that had me cringing away from cricket for a while there? The overdose of Twenty20. Look, I'm about as big an advocate for the shortest format of the game as they come, and there has been nothing that has annoyed me more than players and administrators alike ridiculing and belittling a format of the game they are supposed to represent ("We lost the tournament because we didn't take it seriously" smacks of so much unprofessionalism, it's pathetic, it's holding yourself above the sport when you let your performances make obvious what you'd rather be playing), but the recent overload and gimmickry is just as harmful. IPL 2009 followed immediately by the T20 WC was exhausting enough, but also the Champions League? No. No WAY. E-N-O-U-G-H.

It was not until yesterday morning that I even found out who won the damn thing. The tournament format by itself was interesting enough, but I vote we have actual Indian domestic teams playing in the League, instead of the IPL teams representing India because the "Indian" teams are about as Indian as I am Polish. I am glad none of the IPL teams made the semis, and Mr. Roebuck puts things into perspective rather nicely here. We do have annual domestic T20 tournaments here, right? If I remember right, the winner of the inaugural one was Tamil Nadu (and I was seriously pissed that not a single member of the victorious team was considered for the squad that was sent for the WC in '07), and it'd be interesting to throw our domestic teams into the fray and see how they match up. DISCONNECT IT FROM THE IPL. PLEASE.

Anyway, coming to the on-going series. Despite everything, I'm actually rather happy with our performance. I was driven into the heights of ecstasy with Dhoni's century at Nagpur (LONG overdue, yo) and India's successful salvage operation at Delhi. This is an excellent ODI team, there is absolutely no doubt about that. I wasn't even annoyed with the disappointment in the Champions Trophy (aside from the fact that we lost to Pakistan), I still feel we were desperately unlucky at South Africa. Apart from fielding what was far from our best XI, I don't think we got a chance to make up for the Pakistan loss, given that the game against Australia was washed out. It doesn't seem fair to really judge India's performance there, unlike the T20 WC '09, where we were pathetic and deserved to be booted early.

However, once people start acknowledging their potential, this team has an unfortunate habit of coming to pieces.

Yesterday's game was preceded by endless by-lines of "India'll become no. 1 when they win this game" and "Sachin just 47 runs away from 17,000 ODI runs" to the extent that I was deeply tempted to throw something at the television. Take the spotlight off the Aussies, underestimate them, distract the Indians... yeah, thanks a lot, guys.

Coming to the game itself, India's performance on the field up-first was a pleasant surprise (with the obvious exception of Ishant Sharma), wickets, direct hits, slick stops galore! I could hardly believe I was watching the same team that had been playing for the past one year. When Australia folded for 250 and the camera showed a delicious close-up of Ponting's face shrivelling when the last few Australian wickets fell in an ungainly heap, I allowed myself to Hope - to hope that this Indian team had found itself capable of going for the jugular of the opposition no matter the expectations placed on them, no matter the milestone waiting to be achieved. The way we started our chase only heightened the feeling.

If India's fielding was a sweet burst of endorphins through the system, Sehwag bludgeoning Mitch Johnson in the beginning of the chase was a hypodermic of adrenalin straight to the heart. No way we can lose this, I thought, as the 5th over finished with the scoreboard reading 40/0.

Of course we all know how things turned out after that.

Apart from Johnson's excesses in the first few overs (if I were a conspiracy theorist, I might say they were a cunning ploy to get Sehwag to cut loose and play similar shots against good bowling and get himself out - which is eventually what happened. Ha ha, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR.), the Aussie bowling was commendable. Bollinger seemed damn near unplayable and even Henriques, who looked lacklustre in Delhi, seemed challenging. The real turning point that pushed the match toward Aus was of course, Sachin's dismissal, and later, Yuvi's unfortunate run-out.

Sachin was frustrating last night, and I fancy that he was frustrated, too. Every run he scores takes him closer to that 17,000, he knows it, the opposition knows it, the crowd knows it, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE KNOW IT. That big scoreboard was also kind enough to display some sort of perverse "countdown" wherein every time Sachin took the crease, it'd display "Sachin needs xx runs to get to 17,000 career ODI runs" or whatever. That there? Is mighty annoying. Priorities, people! And what's the point anyway? Every run that Sachin scores now is a world record. Even though Sachin leaving at 40 to what can only be called a dubious leg-before decision (to be fair, it's probably the first dubious decision of the series) hurt India, I was sort of perversely glad.

And Yuvi's run-out. No, Australia, you still haven't found out how to break the power of the YuvinDhoni. Run-outs by centimetres don't count.

There followed a predictable middle-order collapse (yawn). And voila, Aussies victors by 24 runs.

Dhoni, hailed as captain extraordinaire just two days ago, bombarded with doubts: Was Kohli coming at three the right thing? (If you ask me, I'd've preferred Raina or Dhoni there, but that's just me) Was it right to elect to chase? Where did the pacing go wonky? And what is with Ishant Sharma?

Thing is, it was a riveting ODI in a riveting ODI series that's now tied 2-2, advantages, momentum negated. Both sides go into a three-match series with empty slates. Who said ODIs are dying?

Lessee the Indians picking themselves up and givin it back to the Aussies.

I DON'T LIKE THIS

Bangalore need 35 runs off 4 overs.

I thought: wow. Is this possible? Is Murali really actually made of that much awesome?

Then. Raina. Two sixes.

Then. Murali. A six.

Vijay Mallya. Jumping up and about with his cronies.

Blood pressure. Fuming. I don't like this. Do you hear? I DON'T LIKE THIS.

Jacob Oram for the penultimate over, 12 runs to get. Have you gone terminally crazy Dhoni?

First ball. Full toss above the waist, hell, below the chin - no ball. Four. Possibly a six.

That was a yorker in which alternate universe, Jacob?

7 runs to get in 2 overs.

Bangalore win.

Through to the finals to slug it out with Deccan.

There were people going about how great it was that the entire Southern Brigade was in the semis, but I would much rather have us losing to Mumbai, Delhi, Punjab, whatever, rather than Bangalore.

Bangalore vs Hyderabad in the final. Just how wrong is that?

I predicted this all along but I'm so pissed off I don't even know anymore.

Just. Just.

Bloody Hell.

Damn you, Dhoni.

No. Just no.

Lalit Modi hints at two IPLs in the same year.

Bull shit. 'Nuff said.

Also, am at home to watch the second semifinal. Chennai vs Bangalore, live. Bring it on!

Chennai have never looked like champions this tournament and I'm frankly surprised that they've made it this far. Absolutely pathetic.

Bangalore on the other hand have also never looked like champions (quite frankly, only Delhi ever did, and we all know now what happened to them), but at least they haven't served up pathetic like Chennai has. And Anil Kumble is on a wild high. And their fielders can actually catch . That's something.

Let's see if the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow can get their act together at least this time and put all their hands up in a convincing win that belies their run so far in the tournament.

... What? I totally support Chennai. I just believe in tough love.

Also came across an interesting interview of Albie Morkel and he talks about the dressing room team song.... written by Stephen Fleming and George Bailey. I mean, WTF? (I would love to hear it)

I was talking about this to a friend of mine. She was confused. "Don't they already have a team song? I mean, Chennai, Chennai Super -- "

"Nope this is different. Dressing room stuff. Top secret."

A small pause, before, "Oh. Makes total sense. An excellent idea."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean, what if one of them gets lost or something? It's like one of those old movies where long lost brothers find each other by humming the same song. Nifty stuff."

"... Oookaay..."

"Yeah, seriously!" She began to get excited. "Picture this: Dhoni all alone, lost in South Africa, humming the song, and somebody like Albie Morkel happens to hear it, he'll know, right? And then he'll come rushing and go --"

"Emmmm Esssss!" we crowed together, and found coherence through laughter only thirteen minutes and 56 seconds later.

Yes, I'm totally mature and I keep totally mature company, I know. As if you hadn't figured that out already from how mature this blog is.

Sanga Kumagarra, he's DLF-ed it!

Yes, yes indeed he has, Danny Morrison.

This IPL, it's a fascinating thing. Even miles from the nearest TV (a sad, sad fact that I never have and never will stop harping about) this year's tournament has had me just as captivated, annoyed, tired and wishing greatly for a shiny scythe and magical teleportation abilities to South Africa (or maybe just a couple of free plane tickets. And NO WITNESSES.) The Internet is there, sure, there's the online commentary, there're the wonderful blogs to read, and even when that's not available, there's my mobile phone and the meagre updates that it can provide, like little crumbs I can pop into my mouth and savour. Somehow, following the IPL from a distance has made it even more enjoyable, where I'm not wearied by the cricket, by the hype, or by the incessant prattling of the billion news channels and the zillion match 'preview and analysis' shows. No greater joy than eagerly seeking out match news with like-minded friends in between classes, after finishing this test, while preparing for that exam.

And 'sides, it makes the actual few times that I get to see live cricket all that much sweeter.

I've seen/read/heard a lot of complaints, taunts and general bullshitting about the commentary, but honestly? I think I'm enjoying it. Seriously. Aside from the annoying sponsor-name-whoring, I don't think it's any different at all from what I usually hear. But then again, I've been brought up as cricket fan on a diet of supreme mediocrity from Neo Sports and related channels. I have never once been able to escape the horrors of Rameez Raja, Arun Lal, Ranjit Fernando, Laxman Sivaramakrishnan, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram, Aamir Sohail et al.... so yeah. I'ma gonna take what I ca' get.

Like Danny Morrison. Lord, do I love his accent. Half the time I don't even listen to what he's saying. Even when he's horribly mauling Sri Lankan names. :-D

Anyhow, the IPL has finally finished with its league phase, and the semifinals are here.

Time for a brief set of reflections and recriminations.

First off, MUMBAI. Mumbai, Mumbai, Mumbai. HOW. How could you do this to me. Several times before and during the tournament I had pegged MI to be the champions this year because they just seemed so right to me on so many counts. In terms of team balance, in terms of form and performance, reserves and support staff, they looked - and still do - like a stable and strong squad, well and truly capable of taking the IPL by storm. The cool, well-planned and efficient way they defeated Chennai in the first match of the tournament only seemed to reaffirm that for me.

Then what did they do?

Why, they proceeded to choke, choke, choke, and then choke one more time, lose a series of matches they really ought not to have lost, and then ended up not qualifying for the semifinals, finishing only ahead of the pathetic Kolkata Knightriders.

So yeah, thanks for nothing, Sachin.

Secondly, I will never cease marvelling at Deccan's and Bangalore's amazing turnaround of fortunes this year. After ending up at the very bottom of last year's table, these two teams have ended up in this year's semifinal lineup, and it didn't take any radical changes to their team to do it this time, either. Deccan started off strongly before channelling their inner Chennai to waver a bit, lose and win an odd game here and there, and finally end up doing just enough to qualify for the semis.

As for Bangalore, Mr. Kumble, who are you and what have you done with the real Bangalore Royal Challengers, huh?

Thirdly, Delhi. 10 wins out of 14 matches, super-strong batting, a bowling attack so good they can afford to bench somebody like Glenn McGrath, razor-sharp fielding, and most importantly, that extra bit of luck, that innate champions' mojo that's seen them through most tight situations. Favourites for the trophy, right?

Maybe. I can't really bring myself to care. Maybe it's because I've been to Delhi once, and my memories of the city aren't great. Maybe it's my inherent dislike of AB deVilliers, Dinesh Kaarthick and Dirk Nannes (don't ask me why, I have no idea), I dunno.

But I am glad VirunGauti are back in action - at last. Bodes well for the national team in the upcoming World T20.

Fourthly, CHENNAI! Lord, for all that I love and support the Super Kings, they've managed to infuriate me like nothing else has for the last month. First off, the muddled thinking when it came to the bowling. The fact that Dhoni very conveniently managed to forget certain bowlers in his XI (hello, Shadab Jakati!), the fact that Gony was being almost mindlessly persisted with, the fact that Morkel seemed to wilt under pressure almost each and every time, the fact that Balaji's death bowling would come apart in the most inopportune moments, the fact that Muralitharan wasn't performing upto expectations nearly as much as one would want him to, considering he's the one quality international specialist bowler in the eleven... all that added up to the weakest bowling attack in the IPL.

A weak bowling attack that never ceased to slap you upside the head with its performance from match to match.

From bowling out Bangalore for 87 and keeping Punjab to just 92 for 8 in 20, to utterly failing to defend 188 runs against the most pathetic team in the tournament (that match had my blood pressure off the charts, it did) and nearly making a meal of defending 185 against Punjab before the Preternaturally Awesome Raina bailed us out... it was quite a ride. And this was without somebody like Makhaya Ntini getting a lookin.

That's not to mention the fielding, which, hello. Not. even. worth. talking. about. I'll say this though: after Bangalore's finished whupping our asses this Saturday, it'll be those dropped catches and stuttering ground fielding that'll come to haunt the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow, and no amount of "it was pathetic" and "we're repeating our mistakes" from Dhoni will do anything to change the final results.

The batting's not too tough to figure out: it had Hayden as the centre of its little personal universe, with Raina being the other shining beacon. Dhoni took some time to kick off, but did hit form somewhere in the middle. However, even his most successful outings in the centre came in partnership with either Raina or Hayden, which meant that our famed lower middle order turned out to be a Big Flop, with neither Morkel or Oram living up to expectations. I had Albie pegged as Chennai's go-to man before the tournament - things have unfortunately panned out otherwise. Obviously I should cross out "oracle" and "bookie" from my list of future career options (what, you can totally become an oracle after completing your medical degree!)

Badri had his moments, and I am just so impressed with and excited for Suresh Raina. His consistency with the bat this tournament has been wonderful, and he totally should've become the first Indian centurion in the IPL if it had not been for that stupid scoreboard in Centurion (hello, irony!). And his bowling? Wow! The part-timers have been burning it up this tournament. I mean to say, hat-trick to Rohit Sharma? Two hat-tricks to Yuvraj Singh?? Unbelievable.

Despite all the things that nagged me about CSK, they did manage to qualify for the semis in second place. We always had somebody or the other stand up for the team - in ways big or small - when it really mattered, and once they get their selection matters sorted out in a clearer way (read: select Ravichandran Ashwin some more!) we might actually have a very realistic chance to turn the ass-whupping tables on Bangalore in the semifinal this Saturday.

Maybe.

But hey, Dhoni obviously hasn't lost his captaincy mojo, and in the end, that may be all that matters.

Oh, Rajasthan... how the mighty do fall! From last year's champions to not qualifying for the semis this time round... I always did know the entry of The Shetty was going to do no good. That said, however good a captain Warne is, there're some gaps that can't be filled, and Tanvir and Watson did leave some pretty large gaps in the Rajasthan scheme of things.

As for Kolkata Knightriders and Kings XI Punjab, I really couldn't give a damn about either
team. Except to say that I do like most of KKR's players, and therefore, strangely, took a great amount of pleasure in witnessing their self-destructive spiralling through the tournament, before staging a mini-renaissance toward the end that turned out to be too little, too late.

Fifthly, the under-19 players in the tournament. Hearing that Mangal, oops, sorry, Manish Pandey had hit the first Indian century of the IPL (who'd've thunk, huh?) made me rack my brains about where I had heard that name before, until it came to me: from the victorious Indian outfit that had won the Under-19 world cup last year! For all that I dislike the team, I gotta appreciate Bangalore's insistence on playing its younger dudes. Virat Kohli, Sreevats Goswami, Manish Pandey... and then there's people like Jaskaran Singh and Ravi Teja for Hyderabad, Ravindra Jadeja, Kamran Khan and others for Rajasthan, and Pradeep Sangwan for Delhi... these are the youngsters who've been backed by their respective teams and been performing more often than not. That's why it distresses me that Chennai don't follow a similar policy - leaving aside whether they can afford to or not - that they sent away their two U-19 players - Abhinav Mukund and Napoleon Einstein - before the tournament had even started. Which is why I'm desperate for the further inclusion of someone like Ashwin and/or Vijay. I'd like more Tamil Nadu players to cheer for, alright, Dhoni?

... Oookay. This ramble has gone on long enough. I'll be going home this weekend - just in time to catch the second semifinal and the final, ha ha - so I expect to be blogging a bit about those two games. Looking forward to an exciting end to a memorable tournament.

Head says Delhi, heart – as always – says Chennai. Lessee.

And somebody please shoot Mandira Bedi. With a tranquiliser gun at least, if not the real thing.

The stuff of nightmares

So there I was, soaking in a typical early morning, a cup of piping hot filter coffee in my hands, rifling through the trusted pages of The Hindu, running over in my mind the various causes of prostate cancer, occasionally pausing to either ponder upon the Meaning of Life, or giggle at a picture of Dhoni or a specially inviting mental image of Jared Padalecki.

It was then that I saw this picture:

At first I thought it was the picture of a grotesquely malformed infant with some serious hormone imbalance issues.

It was only a couple of seconds later that I realised it was Andrew Symonds sans dreadlocks.

I might be mentally scarred for life here, people.

Agonising just got a new name

Yep, it has.

It's called "being a CSK fan".

As I start this post, CSK are 179/9, 11 runs to get off the last 2 balls, tailenders getting themselves run-out all over the place to get Morkel on strike.

Likely we're about to lose by 10 runs or less. Figures that the only two close matches in this year's tournament so far involve CSK. I'd like to spin some spiel about how "CSK always go down fighting", but we all know that's not the truth.

Ah, look, there's the result: CSK lose by 9 runs. Great.

There seems to be a central theme to the team's performance over the two seasons of the IPL. One, everything we do at the death sucks. Our bowling, our batting, our fielding. Today we got the most awesome start to the chase we could dare to ask for, with Hayden going bonkers at the likes of Nannes, Salvi and Nehra. Parthiv was giving him fantastic support, and after him Raina got smoothly into his groove as well. 40-odd runs to get off the last 5 overs. Piece of cake.

We score barely 30-odd runs in the last 5, losing 6 wickets, after going at more than 10 in the first 15, losing 3.

It happened quite a bit in last years' edition, too (with a few notable exceptions). This time, too, that Flintoff over that conceded 22 runs. Morkel's series of gaffes (that extended to his batting, too, but I'll get to that later). Muralitharan proving to be expensive as well. Gony feeding Dilshan boundaries. Ha ha, IRONY that Balaji turned out to be our best bowler today.

Another was how we completely failed to latch onto the big moments. Yeah, you know the ones. The match-turning kind. Like Suresh Raina dropping Yusuf Pathan (who was then only in single-digit figures) in the final last year, Morkel dropping AB today, or Flintoff bowling that one rubbish over in the end that goes for way too many runs than it should. Hayden dropping Tendulkar. Gony being rubbish on the field.

It's okay if your team is trampled upon by the opposition, I can toss my head back and belly-laugh it out of my system. Like the time RR had Sohail Tanvir put us through the meat-shredder the first time CSK played them last year. I could only laugh and laugh and laugh and think "it sucks to be them right now, huh."

Except most times CSK lose like this and I'm left tearing my hair out.

AB deVilliers has won the man-of-the-match, I think.

No fair. The man-of-the-match award should go to Mr. Morkel. He was the one who won it for the Daredevils after all.

16.2
Salvi to Morkel, no run, short, sitting up for the pull, but Morkel mistimes, and plays it straight to midwicket. Dot Ball. That's big

16.3
Salvi to Morkel, 1 run, another short delivery, Morkel is a touch late into the pull, and only just manages to clear AB at midwicket

18.4
Vettori to Morkel, 1 leg bye, lovely bowling again, Morkel looks to make room, Vettori follows with an arm-ball, getting just a leg-bye
18.5
Vettori to Gony, SIX, and Gony turns it around, Vettori had bowled so far this game, with this flighted delivery is clubbed from down on a knee, this could well be eight over midwicket boundary

19.1
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, Joginder makes room, lofts it over extra cover, but they stroll only for two
19.2
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, just short of a length, Joginder slaps it to wide of long-on, and they take two again. Surprising? Wouldn't they want Morkel on strike?

No, Mr. Commentator, they wouldn't.

I'm sorry if I'm being unfair to Morkel - it's possible that he just had a really crappy day - but I'm deeply frustrated with the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow right now. Chokers, that's what they are. First-rate Chokers.

Dhoni's saying that he hoped his bowlers were paying attention to the way Delhi bowled at the death. Yeah, Freddie, that one was especially for you. Considering you've been quite the Magnanimous One with your bowling at the death, in both the matches that we've lost so far.

Damn it all. Chennai's gonna end up choking its way to the bottom of the table. No use in claiming that we lose decently.

Then they can all come back to their chicken biryanis and thayirsaadams and Padmashrees and watch Mumbai play Delhi in the final on a big flatscreen TV.

It's all a conspiracy, yessir, it is

Chennai is playing Delhi in the IPL.

Forced to come home by illness, I'm sitting here watching Chennai shit all over their dreams of winning.

I'm watching AB deVilliers hit a CENTURY. I'm watching Flintoff getting carted around for 22 runs in the penultimate over. I'm watching Dhoni getting ready to silently combust.

More than anything, I'm sitting here watching Albie Morkel lose us the game.

Sample this:

15.2
Gony to de Villiers, 1 run, and AB enjoys the good luck for longer, lofted straight to Morkel at long-on boundary, and Morkel drops an absolute sitter

And then:

16.1
Morkel to de Villiers, FOUR, and Morkel is being tormented more by his compatriot. He bowls a fulltoss, and smacked over midwicket. AB is cashing in remorselessly
16.2
Morkel to de Villiers, SIX, He is a sucker for punishemnt, is Morkel, another fulltoss, AB goes midwicket again, but higher, and for a six. is he looking at 200?

What's going on?

And then earlier, Mr. Morkel was spouting this shit about how the players' respective boards had instructed them not to divulge too many secrets to their ipl teammates prior to the T20 WC.

Mr. Morkel, I usually think you are seventy five and a quarter different kinds of awesome, but if your only purpose today was to come and give your South African teammate some batting practice, you might as well have opted out of this gig.

Yeah, you SUCK, Mr. Morkel.

I'm just going to take my medicine and go to sleep and not watch Chennai lose.

Which they undoubtedly deserve to.

AB deVilliers. Seriously, guys? SERIOUSLY?

And because I couldn't resist

Yeah, I know I did the Almost-Drama-Queen with the "farewell"s in the previous post, but I couldn't resist slipping this in before taking the deadly plunge into my books:

Ha ha ha. I mean, ha ha ha. This pic made me blush pretty damn hard.

I'm still trying to recover from the vertigo.

Also also? Chennai Super Kings are SO gonna win this year. Because I couldn't resist a bit of last minute propaganda.

(just don't let Robin anywhere near MS)

(or, you know, DO) :D

Randomness and a brief farewell

So, okay, I'm (more than) a little late here, but a hearty congratulations to the Indian team for their series win in New Zealand. Seriously. Hearty. With claps on the back and all that shit because they? They proved me totally, utterly and completely wrong. So, okay, maybe I wasn't keeping track of NZ much to realise that they are the 8th ranked team in the world, with a batting order that's non-existent unless Ryder and Taylor are batting together, and the less said about their bowling the better, and that most tracks in NZ are good enough to take my first driving lesson on, but still - you know? First time in 40 years. That's gotta count for something, some champagne and a bit sprayed around.

This is going to be my last post in a while, as final exams are fast approaching and I most likely will not have much time for cricket, leave alone blogging - at least until some time late June. Which of course means I'll be missing the bulk of the IPL, as well as the Twenty20 World Cup (which, by the way, is spread over the exact two weeks as my final exams, screw you, Fate), but hey. ... Um.

Let's try that again.

- but hey. Er.

No good. Can't see the bright side to this.

OH CRUEL AND CAPRICIOUS FATE, I THINK I KIND OF HATE YOU.

... Yeah.

A few (really) random thoughts before I leave:

1. About the Infamous Declaration of Doom in the last Test against New Zealand. I remember being a little wary that last day, cautiously scrounging around the web for opinion, but criticism took a surprising amount of time to build up. Once it did start, though, everybody seemed to rush in to get their finger in the pie. It reminded me of typical classroom politics - furitive looks exchanged in a death silence as nobody is brave enough to voice an opinion everybody wants to, and when somebody does take the initiative, the roof is brought down by the chorus that follows. As for me, I honestly did not have any problem with the declaration, even bringing the weather in as a factor. It seemed to me like an ideal score to declare at - put the match well and comprehensively out of NZ's reach, make sure the series win is secure, then really go for it. I mean, even with the weather, India still got to bowl at NZ for a day and a bit, and if it were not for the horrendous catching, could've easily bowled them out, and the criticism would not have been even a quarter of what it is now. More than the timing of the declaration it was the attitude of the Indians that irritated me. That final session on the 4th day, where it seemed like they were just fooling around? I threw the remote at the TV and stomped away cursing this team to an eternity spent at No. 3. Because? With this kind of fielding and attitude, that's how far I see them going.

2. Australia lost the ODI series to SA, and while I'm happy about that - obviously - it totally ruined for me all the cool comments that could be made about this tour being a clean photographic negative of the Saffers' tour of Australia earlier this year. I was kinda liking the symmetry.

3. Callum Ferguson is cute.

4. Wayne Parnell. Out of all the people in the Under-19 WC last year, this dude impressed me the most, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he was winning matches for the national team as well.

5. SuperSport commentary kind of sucks.

6. SETMax sucks even more. Not really looking forward to the TV coverage of the IPL this year.

7. The Mumbai Indians are looking scary good for the IPL this year. My money's on them to win it this time 'round.

8. Also, this? Ha ha ha, good one. Overboard with the sarcasm, perhaps. Like, really overboard.

9. I was disappointed - and admittedly, still am - when the IPL was forced to South Africa, but at least now I have one reason to feel happy that the boys ain't playing here: the weather here, it be MURDEROUS. At least in Chennai, it is. Every freakin summer it gets worse. I can't imagine anybody willingly staying out there for more than an hour at a time even with all the Gatorade in the world. Unless, you know, they have air-conditioners built into their uniforms or some such shit. I remember my most abiding memory from the Afro-Asia Cup 2007 (aside from Dhoni's century of Awesome and his even awesomer 200+ partnership with Jayawardene in one of the games) where they played two consecutive ODIs in Chennai in frickin' June was an overwhelming sympathy for the players as I sweated it out watching them sweat in the MAC and much sweating was had by all. I love you, Chennai, I really do, but I really kind of hate the weather.

See you in a couple of months, then. Farewell!

The Agony and the Ecstasy

The last one week has been replete with epiphanies.

Most of them are of a personal sort, and all of them seem to have led me round an expansive and emotionally difficult circle and eventually I find myself exactly where I started. It’s not such a bad thing, though, and I hope I’m wiser after all that’s happened.

The one epiphany that’s relevant here happened last Sunday, as I was reading the literature on the web regarding the series win in New Zealand. It struck me suddenly just how much cricket was out there, just how much the game had been consuming precious hours of my life, and how difficult it was balancing being a medical student (which, hello, is pretty damn tough) and a cricket fan, not to mention various other social and familial commitments. An inexplicable panic started crawling up the back of my throat like some sort of insect, and I decided enough was enough.

So I tried a little experiment. I locked up my laptop at home and boldly went back to college, no TV for miles around. I knew I was missing the final ODI. I knew I was missing the first Test. I knew I had been waiting and waiting to follow this Test series, but I had to be strong, right? Priorities, priorities.

The first couple of days weren’t so bad. I still had the occasional mobile phone update, and am actually kind of glad I missed the final ODI, for obvious reasons. I still remember asking a friend in class for the score update that day, and this was how the conversation went:

ME: Score, score, score please!

FRIEND: (raising an eyebrow) Um, pardon me?

ME: (waving a futile hand in the air) Today! ODI! New Zealand! Score!

F: Oooooh. Gimme a second.

(checks on mobile phone and looks up and smiles)

F: 115 for 7.

ME: Uh... New Zealand, right?

F: (checks) Uh, no, actually. It’s India.

ME: (laughing) No, no, that’s impossible. Check that little space before the score. I’m sure it says N-Z, not I-N-D.

F: (starting to get annoyed) M--, it’s India batting. Rohit Sharma. Zaheer Khan. Partnership. LOOK.

(proceeds to thrust mobile phone screen at my face, where the letters IND 115/7 gleam
mockingly in all their digital glory)

ME: Stupid freakin’ – how in the world – what’s wrong – demonic possession – alien invasion – (fades away into incoherent muttering which may – or may not – have contained a string of profanity toward the Indian team)

But I didn’t really care about the result, which didn’t really mean anything, aside from a slightly disturbing tendency for the team to get off the boiler once the series has been won. That ain’t the stuff of truly dominating World Champions.

But the Test?

Seven different kinds of agony.

I was rather looking forward to watching this particular series, to the truly unique experience of waking up at 2:30 in the morning to watch Test cricket, tiptoeing around sleeping family members, settling down in front of the TV, blinking sleep desperately out of my eyes, smelling of mosquito-repellent cream, sipping from a mug of hot coffee in my hands. This time around, though, it was only the mobile phone updates, and the digital scores against the glowing background didn’t tell me anything. How many catches did Dhoni drop? (Only one, as I found out later. Keep at it, Mahi!) How did each four of Tendulkar’s look like? Was Dravid getting back into groove? Had somebody managed brainwash Laxman into thinking he was playing against Australia? (tough one, I know). Had the bowlers gotten their act together, or were they lucky? How was the pitch playing? Easy, or was it just the brilliance of the batsmen? How was the catching?

I knew none of the answers. To my horror, it was killing me.

So I took my first opportunity to get back home, and immediately lurched toward the laptop and the TV and was generally pleased with what I saw/read.

Sachin Tendulkar was awesome, as per usual.

Dravid... um. I’ll just shut up now. Dude, retire whenever you want to.

Schizophrenic!Munaf managed to put in a good performance, and Bhajji!! Dude, 6-63? Come on! :D

Dhoni continued to chip in with his batting, and his keeping seemed tidy for the most part. (Ha ha, go ahead and laugh at my conceit, I know I am.)

There were a couple of annoying lower-order partnerships that were allowed to build in the NZ innings, and as much as I adore Dan Vettori and the Brendon of McCullum, I’ve got to say: guys, seriously?

I am not going to make the mistake of leaving behind all this again. ‘Cause, seriously? Not worth it. What’s life if not a constant balancing act anyway?

So – 1 up in the series, with 2 Tests to go. Judging by the way they played this match, one would think anything less than a 2-0, maybe even a 3-0 win would be sacrilege, but let’s see. ‘Sides, India has never handled being overwhelming favourites well, and it’s all for India to lose from here.

Speaking of New Zealand, the Women’s World Cup concluded recently, with England winning their final against New Zealand. These two were easily the two strongest teams of the tournament, and a hearty congratulations to all of the women who were part of the final. Also, India managed to beat Australia (second time this tournament, ha!) for the third place. Which, considering that last year when the Indian women toured Australia, Karen Rolston and co. wiped the floor with them? Is pretty sweet.

...

... Oof. I need to apply for some sort of rehabilitation. Suggestions, anyone?


Addendum of EPIC DOOM: It’s happened.

The IPL cannot be held in India this year.

What the hell, people. What. The. Hell.

My immediate reaction was if the IPL can’t be held in India, then leave it. Cancel it. Holding it in another country? Hello, desperation! The primary lure of the IPL for me and so many people I know was the joy of crowding up the stadiums and the TV rooms and watch international cricket stars play some exhilarating Twenty20. For us. (In a way, you know, okay??)

If it has to be relocated, then the obvious choice would be South Africa.

But --- damn. This sucks, just so damn much.

Couldn't even imagine

... that it would come to this.

Following the Lahore attack, there is now a distinct possibility that the IPL might not happen this year, with several foreign players and officials expressing their discomfort at the security situation in the subcontinent. It's not just about Lahore either, apparently. The unease existed right from the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai.

Now even the 2011 World Cup, scheduled to be held in the subcontinent, is under doubt.

I want to be cynical of the players expressing their doubts, I want to assert that something like Lahore can never happen in India, I want to sneer and laugh and pray. But yesterday's incident proved that cricket is far from immune to terrorism, and I still get the chills everytime I involuntarily imagine the Indian team in the Sri Lankans' position. Could this sort of thing happen in India? Maybe maybe yeah. Well.

Hell yeah.

Already there was talk of an IPL postponement before all of this, with the Home Minister suggesting the IPL clashing with the general elections might be a bad thing. While methinks he may have a point, I merely laughed and laughed when I first heard of it, because hello? Postponement of IPL might as well be translated into cancellation of the season, and that? Was so not going to happen.

Except now it actually might.

The players' attitudes (outside of India, particularly outside the subcontinent) regarding the IPL have always baffled, amused and mostly irritated me (because, hello, gleefully signing up for large amounts of money on one hand, and then taking some sort of perverse pleasure in extolling the Evils of Indian Money in Cricket on the other? So not on), and with this thrown into the mix, things have gotten a whole lot more complicated.

I can only somehow naively hope for restoration of some normalcy, because, dammit I want to see some IPL action this summer. I don't want to see cricket as a whole suffering from this, because the subcontinent? A pretty large chunk of land providing a pretty large chunk of cricket watching and playing population.

I don't even know anymore, and damn if I'm not getting overly melodramatic.

Not for the first time, I follow and love this game way more than I should be.

But... damn.

Of cows, stocks and other such delightful things

Another year. Another February. Another day where cricketers sold like stocks. Or "cows". (Don't worry, Gilly, keep at it and one of those fanatic pro-Hindutva groups will come and save you from the eeevil IPL.)

The amounts of money being tossed around this time - defying global concerns over the Economic Recession - didn't startle me as much as it did last time 'round. I'm rather looking forward to this year's edition of the IPL. I had my fill of some spectacular Test cricket late last year, some good ODI cricket now, and I can't wait for the Twenty20 season to come. I generally don't get why some people can be so anti-Twenty20, pro-this, anti-that. I'm probably going to sound naive, but it's all cricket, each format requiring an unique set of skills. And as far as I know, the glamour never hurt anybody, least of all the cricketers themselves. Plus, it's a great way to attract new fans to the game. I know a lot of people who started watching not just T20, but also Tests and ODIs after the IPL last year.

... But that's an argument for another time.

So. Let's have a look at the teams post-auction.

Bangalore Royal Challengers

Kevin Pietersen - 1.55 million
Jesse Ryder - 160,000

Well, obviously. The 'Test team' of the IPL was going to need a whole lot of big hitters - especially now with Misbah's contract terminated - and Vijay Mallya must've made a steady beeline for KP. I have my doubts about whether he's worth that much, though. I mean, yeah, he's flamboyant, in-form, destructive hitter and everything, but seems too much money for a batsman who can't add any other attributes to his kitty.

Veritable bargain as far as Ryder is concerned.

Chennai Super Kings

Andrew Flintoff - 1.55 million
Thilan Thushara - 140,000
George Bailey - 50,000

\o/ - was my immediate reaction when I heard that Chennai had bagged Flintoff. We were in desperate need of an incisive pacer - with the added bonus of being an all-rounder - and he fits the bill perfectly. I believe he's worth every paise of his price - provided he doesn't get injured along the way. I remember Thushara as a good bowler with a penchant for big hits down the order - very nearly won the man of the series award in the ODI series against India last year - but I would've preferred Kulasekara ahead of him. The George Bailey fellow I've never heard of, but I took a look at his profile - Tasmania vice-captain, T20 strikerate of over 150 - fine by me.

Deccan Chargers

Fidel Edwards - 150,000
Dwayne Smith - 100,000

Ah, DC, DC, DC. Fidel Edwards is a good up-and-coming pacer - could be the surprise package of the IPL. Dwayne Smith... well, okay, he's a good fielder, fairly good batsman... well, okay, yeah. Not got much to say. Hopefully they perform better than they did last time 'round.

Delhi Daredevils

Owais Shah - 275,000
Paul Collingwood - 275,000

... Okay, so I've been rather fascinated by Delhi's moves the whole of last year. They've made some pretty smart moves, others not-so-smart (you're giving up Shikhar Dhawan? Are you, like, nuts?) Owais Shah can be a good buy, whereas Paul Collingwood? Wait, let me check my imagination.

Yep, it boggles.

Kings XI Punjab

Ravi Bopara - 450,000
Jerome Taylor - 150,000

Sensible pick-ups, both of them. Taylor could turn out to be the bargain of the IPL. Kings XI looking like one of the most well-rounded teams of the IPL.

Kolkata Knightriders

Mashrafe Mortaza - 600,000

... Okay. Mortaza has always been one of my most favourite Bangladeshi players - a good pacer and a useful big-hitter down the order, but buying him for 120 times his base price? Seems like a little too much. I'm not even that sure he'll make an adequate replacement for Umar Gul. Come on, KKR, I thought you were smarter than that.

Mumbai Indians

JP Duminy - 950,000
Kyle Mills - 150,000
Mohammad Ashraful - 75,000

Surely the effect of the recently concluded South African tour of Australia, where JP Duminy was the undisputed star. I think it's a great buy. Fantastic batsman in the form of his life, great fielder and useful part-time bowler. Kyle Mills I don't know much of and can't be bothered with finding out, but wow is that a bargain for Ashraful or what.

Rajasthan Royals

Shaun Tait - 375,000
Tyron Henderson - 650,000

With the glamour quotient cranked up considerably with the entry of Shilpa Shetty, I think RR have acquitted themselves well here. Shaun Tait can be super-dangerous provided Warney toughens him up mentally, and I remember Henderson plays for Middlesex and was one of the key reasons they won the Twenty20 cup last year (oh, that final was amazing). Maybe a wee too much paid for him, perhaps.

Unsold Players: Stuart Clark, Brad Haddin, Chamara Kapugedara, Ashwell Prince, Phil Jaques, Andre Nel, Luke Wright, Nuwan Kulasekara, Samit Patel, Shakib Al Hasan, Morne van Wyk, Steven Smith, Ashley Noffke, Gulam Bodi, Daren Powell, Tamim Iqbal, Jon Moss, Bryce McGain, James Franklin, Aiden Blizzard, Ramnaresh Sarwan, Michael Klinger, Kaushalya Weeraratne, Prasanna Jayawardene, Dominic Thornley, Yusuf Abdulla, Daniel Harris, Kemar Roach, Aaron Bird, Michael Dighton, Michael Hill and Brett Geeves.

That's a whole lot of unsold players.

The people I cannot believe have remained unsold to any team have been italicised. With special emphasis on Shakib-al-Hasan. How in the world can you not take this kid? He's the sole reason Bangladesh have done reasonably well this year! Number one in the all-rounder rankings! Smoking hot form! I couldn't believe my eyes.

... Anyway. Things are being set up for an exciting Twenty20 season ahead. Will try to follow it as much as I can, cheer for the Chennai Super Kings as much as I can, though it'll be tough with final exams coming around the same time. There's this contest going on to search for the next bunch of CSK cheerleaders and when I expressed a desire to participate, I received the Collective Withering Look of Doom from my family.

Whatever do you think they meant? ;)