Agonising just got a new name

Yep, it has.

It's called "being a CSK fan".

As I start this post, CSK are 179/9, 11 runs to get off the last 2 balls, tailenders getting themselves run-out all over the place to get Morkel on strike.

Likely we're about to lose by 10 runs or less. Figures that the only two close matches in this year's tournament so far involve CSK. I'd like to spin some spiel about how "CSK always go down fighting", but we all know that's not the truth.

Ah, look, there's the result: CSK lose by 9 runs. Great.

There seems to be a central theme to the team's performance over the two seasons of the IPL. One, everything we do at the death sucks. Our bowling, our batting, our fielding. Today we got the most awesome start to the chase we could dare to ask for, with Hayden going bonkers at the likes of Nannes, Salvi and Nehra. Parthiv was giving him fantastic support, and after him Raina got smoothly into his groove as well. 40-odd runs to get off the last 5 overs. Piece of cake.

We score barely 30-odd runs in the last 5, losing 6 wickets, after going at more than 10 in the first 15, losing 3.

It happened quite a bit in last years' edition, too (with a few notable exceptions). This time, too, that Flintoff over that conceded 22 runs. Morkel's series of gaffes (that extended to his batting, too, but I'll get to that later). Muralitharan proving to be expensive as well. Gony feeding Dilshan boundaries. Ha ha, IRONY that Balaji turned out to be our best bowler today.

Another was how we completely failed to latch onto the big moments. Yeah, you know the ones. The match-turning kind. Like Suresh Raina dropping Yusuf Pathan (who was then only in single-digit figures) in the final last year, Morkel dropping AB today, or Flintoff bowling that one rubbish over in the end that goes for way too many runs than it should. Hayden dropping Tendulkar. Gony being rubbish on the field.

It's okay if your team is trampled upon by the opposition, I can toss my head back and belly-laugh it out of my system. Like the time RR had Sohail Tanvir put us through the meat-shredder the first time CSK played them last year. I could only laugh and laugh and laugh and think "it sucks to be them right now, huh."

Except most times CSK lose like this and I'm left tearing my hair out.

AB deVilliers has won the man-of-the-match, I think.

No fair. The man-of-the-match award should go to Mr. Morkel. He was the one who won it for the Daredevils after all.

16.2
Salvi to Morkel, no run, short, sitting up for the pull, but Morkel mistimes, and plays it straight to midwicket. Dot Ball. That's big

16.3
Salvi to Morkel, 1 run, another short delivery, Morkel is a touch late into the pull, and only just manages to clear AB at midwicket

18.4
Vettori to Morkel, 1 leg bye, lovely bowling again, Morkel looks to make room, Vettori follows with an arm-ball, getting just a leg-bye
18.5
Vettori to Gony, SIX, and Gony turns it around, Vettori had bowled so far this game, with this flighted delivery is clubbed from down on a knee, this could well be eight over midwicket boundary

19.1
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, Joginder makes room, lofts it over extra cover, but they stroll only for two
19.2
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, just short of a length, Joginder slaps it to wide of long-on, and they take two again. Surprising? Wouldn't they want Morkel on strike?

No, Mr. Commentator, they wouldn't.

I'm sorry if I'm being unfair to Morkel - it's possible that he just had a really crappy day - but I'm deeply frustrated with the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow right now. Chokers, that's what they are. First-rate Chokers.

Dhoni's saying that he hoped his bowlers were paying attention to the way Delhi bowled at the death. Yeah, Freddie, that one was especially for you. Considering you've been quite the Magnanimous One with your bowling at the death, in both the matches that we've lost so far.

Damn it all. Chennai's gonna end up choking its way to the bottom of the table. No use in claiming that we lose decently.

Then they can all come back to their chicken biryanis and thayirsaadams and Padmashrees and watch Mumbai play Delhi in the final on a big flatscreen TV.

Of cows, stocks and other such delightful things

Another year. Another February. Another day where cricketers sold like stocks. Or "cows". (Don't worry, Gilly, keep at it and one of those fanatic pro-Hindutva groups will come and save you from the eeevil IPL.)

The amounts of money being tossed around this time - defying global concerns over the Economic Recession - didn't startle me as much as it did last time 'round. I'm rather looking forward to this year's edition of the IPL. I had my fill of some spectacular Test cricket late last year, some good ODI cricket now, and I can't wait for the Twenty20 season to come. I generally don't get why some people can be so anti-Twenty20, pro-this, anti-that. I'm probably going to sound naive, but it's all cricket, each format requiring an unique set of skills. And as far as I know, the glamour never hurt anybody, least of all the cricketers themselves. Plus, it's a great way to attract new fans to the game. I know a lot of people who started watching not just T20, but also Tests and ODIs after the IPL last year.

... But that's an argument for another time.

So. Let's have a look at the teams post-auction.

Bangalore Royal Challengers

Kevin Pietersen - 1.55 million
Jesse Ryder - 160,000

Well, obviously. The 'Test team' of the IPL was going to need a whole lot of big hitters - especially now with Misbah's contract terminated - and Vijay Mallya must've made a steady beeline for KP. I have my doubts about whether he's worth that much, though. I mean, yeah, he's flamboyant, in-form, destructive hitter and everything, but seems too much money for a batsman who can't add any other attributes to his kitty.

Veritable bargain as far as Ryder is concerned.

Chennai Super Kings

Andrew Flintoff - 1.55 million
Thilan Thushara - 140,000
George Bailey - 50,000

\o/ - was my immediate reaction when I heard that Chennai had bagged Flintoff. We were in desperate need of an incisive pacer - with the added bonus of being an all-rounder - and he fits the bill perfectly. I believe he's worth every paise of his price - provided he doesn't get injured along the way. I remember Thushara as a good bowler with a penchant for big hits down the order - very nearly won the man of the series award in the ODI series against India last year - but I would've preferred Kulasekara ahead of him. The George Bailey fellow I've never heard of, but I took a look at his profile - Tasmania vice-captain, T20 strikerate of over 150 - fine by me.

Deccan Chargers

Fidel Edwards - 150,000
Dwayne Smith - 100,000

Ah, DC, DC, DC. Fidel Edwards is a good up-and-coming pacer - could be the surprise package of the IPL. Dwayne Smith... well, okay, he's a good fielder, fairly good batsman... well, okay, yeah. Not got much to say. Hopefully they perform better than they did last time 'round.

Delhi Daredevils

Owais Shah - 275,000
Paul Collingwood - 275,000

... Okay, so I've been rather fascinated by Delhi's moves the whole of last year. They've made some pretty smart moves, others not-so-smart (you're giving up Shikhar Dhawan? Are you, like, nuts?) Owais Shah can be a good buy, whereas Paul Collingwood? Wait, let me check my imagination.

Yep, it boggles.

Kings XI Punjab

Ravi Bopara - 450,000
Jerome Taylor - 150,000

Sensible pick-ups, both of them. Taylor could turn out to be the bargain of the IPL. Kings XI looking like one of the most well-rounded teams of the IPL.

Kolkata Knightriders

Mashrafe Mortaza - 600,000

... Okay. Mortaza has always been one of my most favourite Bangladeshi players - a good pacer and a useful big-hitter down the order, but buying him for 120 times his base price? Seems like a little too much. I'm not even that sure he'll make an adequate replacement for Umar Gul. Come on, KKR, I thought you were smarter than that.

Mumbai Indians

JP Duminy - 950,000
Kyle Mills - 150,000
Mohammad Ashraful - 75,000

Surely the effect of the recently concluded South African tour of Australia, where JP Duminy was the undisputed star. I think it's a great buy. Fantastic batsman in the form of his life, great fielder and useful part-time bowler. Kyle Mills I don't know much of and can't be bothered with finding out, but wow is that a bargain for Ashraful or what.

Rajasthan Royals

Shaun Tait - 375,000
Tyron Henderson - 650,000

With the glamour quotient cranked up considerably with the entry of Shilpa Shetty, I think RR have acquitted themselves well here. Shaun Tait can be super-dangerous provided Warney toughens him up mentally, and I remember Henderson plays for Middlesex and was one of the key reasons they won the Twenty20 cup last year (oh, that final was amazing). Maybe a wee too much paid for him, perhaps.

Unsold Players: Stuart Clark, Brad Haddin, Chamara Kapugedara, Ashwell Prince, Phil Jaques, Andre Nel, Luke Wright, Nuwan Kulasekara, Samit Patel, Shakib Al Hasan, Morne van Wyk, Steven Smith, Ashley Noffke, Gulam Bodi, Daren Powell, Tamim Iqbal, Jon Moss, Bryce McGain, James Franklin, Aiden Blizzard, Ramnaresh Sarwan, Michael Klinger, Kaushalya Weeraratne, Prasanna Jayawardene, Dominic Thornley, Yusuf Abdulla, Daniel Harris, Kemar Roach, Aaron Bird, Michael Dighton, Michael Hill and Brett Geeves.

That's a whole lot of unsold players.

The people I cannot believe have remained unsold to any team have been italicised. With special emphasis on Shakib-al-Hasan. How in the world can you not take this kid? He's the sole reason Bangladesh have done reasonably well this year! Number one in the all-rounder rankings! Smoking hot form! I couldn't believe my eyes.

... Anyway. Things are being set up for an exciting Twenty20 season ahead. Will try to follow it as much as I can, cheer for the Chennai Super Kings as much as I can, though it'll be tough with final exams coming around the same time. There's this contest going on to search for the next bunch of CSK cheerleaders and when I expressed a desire to participate, I received the Collective Withering Look of Doom from my family.

Whatever do you think they meant? ;)

Yum, Test Cricket

It's been an interesting couple of days at Mohali.

Even as I type, Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff are doggedly extending their big stand for the fifth wicket, trying to up the tempo even while Zaheer Khan and co try to strangulate the hitherto impressive run-rate and I keep rolling my eyes and my conscience is hitting me with a white-hot poker to focus on reading for yet another Exam of Doom.

... But. Let's start at the beginning, 'kay?

So Rahul Dravid made hundreds of cricket fans around the world very, very happy by finally notching up a century. I've kind of forgotten what a typical Rahul Dravid century looks like, but experts claim that the 136 he scored was close enough, so I'm happy for him. To pull something like this while going through an extended and particularly horrendous run of poor form, is more than commendable. He and Gambhir (who put on 179 awesome runs himself), got in a mammoth 314 for the second wicket, even though the run-rate was crawl-worthy. The others came in and tried to force the pace, and perished for it - thanks to some tight and wonderful bowling from Flintoff and Swann. Still - ending up with 453 is pretty good, so.

Beginning of the 3rd day, and England start their innings. More like India start their bowling stint - and how! Zaheer Khan has Strauss captured leg before off the very second ball of the day, while Ishant Sharma - off the very first ball of the next over - makes a mess of the middle stump behind a very befuddled Ian Bell. 2/2, the scoreboard read, and I thought I would jump up and start singing (until, of course, I actually did jump up and sing... >.>)

KP and the insanely hot (what? He is!) Alastair Cook got together and through a period of some brilliant, positive batting, had notched up 100-odd runs in no time. To see England go at more than 4 an over while India had crawled at barely 3 in their innings had me disconcerted, I must admit (um, didn't the script usually read the other way round?) but soon we had snagged both Cook and Collingwood and the scoreboard read a precarious 131/4.

Enter Flintoff. I didn't celebrate.

And with good reason.

Still. An entertaining contest, what? India still distinctly on top - unless they get their butts moving and pick up a flurry of wickets, this match is likely to end in a draw. Plus, with all the delays and cuts in overs coming due to fog and the winter and the poor light? A draw's loomin' large.

But. You never know.

In my previous post, to illustrate the vagaries of this wonderful game, I had pointed to South Africa's 1st innings collapse from a good position in their 1st Test against Australia. Now, though? Now, take a look at the scorecard. It goes "South Africa win by 6 wickets" and you are tempted to go "what the hell" right? I was.

Turns out SA chased down 414 with centuries from Smith and deVilliers.

Losing just 4 wickets.

In WACA, Perth.

Against Australia.

HA HA. Post-McGrath&Warne is starting to bite Ponting's rear, hard, you may say.

I agree.

But still. Australia had SA all over the place for so much of the Test. They seemed so sure to win. I'm not sure I'm old enough to bet, but I was willing to put all my meagre pocket-money on it. What did the Saffers do? Why, go and pull of the second-highest run-chase in recorded Test history, that's what.

Coming on the heels of a equally spectacular chase coming in eerily similar circumstances pulled off by India in Chennai, it was just so wonderful to take in. Teams need not worry anymore, huh? You can be crap in the first three days, but you're still good enough to win - and win comfortably, spectacularly.

Just awesome.

Now Australia are struggling. The statement brings alarming joy.

What a selection of Tests we've had this year. Quite delicious.

That reminds me of an incident at college the other day. I was talking to somebody about the England-India Tests, before a curious friend overheard and asked me what score I was quoting. I told her, and her face pulled into a spectacularly exaggerated expression of disgust. "Test match?" she said. "Please. I'm not interested if it's not an ODI or T20." I thought of disagreeing, but just shrugged and went away. A couple of hours later she sidled up next to me in class and whispered frantically for the score. Not wasting the opportunity to ram in my point, I refused to tell her ("It's only a Test match like you said, right?"), until she was practically eating out of my hand at the end of the day.

Ha ha ha. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

The cynical Indian fan sits smug (once again, at last)

Formalities, formalities.

Okay, cricket's back, it's great, the general euphoria and gratefulness faded after the first couple of minutes, and it was all back to normal again (for me at least): letting your emotions ride with the ebb and flow of the game (a lot more fun in Test cricket, admittedly), pumping the air in delight with every minor triumph and cursing a blue streak at the TV with every minor failure (what, they never taught you how to field in all of those kazillion cricket academies and camps you went to, you *&#^*^**?)

Yeah, so day 1 was pretty awesome for us, aside from the whole England piling on a 100+ opening stand thing, with Strauss scoring an admittedly classy century. 229/5 in 90 overs makes for dubious reading, particularly on a batsman's paradise like Chennai is supposed to be. It made for alarming reading (for the English obviously) on the morning of day 2 - as Freddie left, making it 229/6. Mm, delicious.

But Matt Prior (there can be no words for how much I dislike this man. None.) and the lower order ensured England finished with 316 on board, and surely after being 160-odd for 2 at one stage, it was a disappointing total to land up with - to say the least. The "odd ball was doing the odd thing" (I swear to God, cricket and its inane cliches) but Chepauk still looked a good batting wicket, and the last time India had batted there, they'd scored more than 600 runs, and Sehwag had hit 319 of them in an innings that has me smile and jump even now. Aside from the major blot of the woefully out-of-form Rahul Dravid, the rest of the lineup was coming in riding some excellent form, and with a lot to prove.

England could not be underestimated, Freddie, Harmison, Swann, blah, blah, blah, but India still held all of the cards at that moment. I skipped my lunch break to catch the live commentary, just in time to be told that England had been dismissed, and Viru and Gauti were striding out to the crease. I remember smiling and daring to speculate on the possibilities of 100 run leads and its consequences.

Hah!

Before you know it, India were 37/3. What in the world, you may ask. You are justified in asking so, and I would say that VirunGauti finally reached that innings, where they simply had to fail, to even out the mojo that had them churning out successful start after successful start for so many games. But the middle order got the memo, right? They could pick things up, right? Things were still under control, right?

Wrong.

Dravid got out for 3. Rahul, please go. That's enough. I'm asking politely here.

Debutant spinner-boy Graeme Swann got both Gauti and Rahul in his first over in international cricket, and all I could say was guys, seriously. First Mendis, then Krejza, now Swann? I want the Indian batsmen to write an imposition: 100 times, "I am NOT the best player of spin in the world. I will NOT underestimate another debutant spinner, part-time spinner, or any player with even a rudimentary capacity to wrap his fingers around the cricket ball and spin it." and stick it to their lockers so that they can have a good, long look at it everyday.

Long, I know. Will be extra painful. How else will they learn.

Tendulkar and Laxman stitched things together for a while with a half-century partnership, before (for god's sake) Panesar struck, getting Laxman caught off his own bowling. (I know, Monty took a catch. No wonder it's not raining) The very next over, Flintoff gets Tendulkar. I was talking over the phone to my mother at that time, an eye on the live commentary, and for a few moments I broke off whatever I was saying, gaping at the laptop screen saying 102/5 (just like that, just like that), mouth opening and closing like some landed fish. I think some vague keening, disbelieving groan must've made its way out of my mouth at that time, 'cos my mother was suddenly asking if I'd hurt myself - why the hell was I sounding like that.

Oh, ma.

Disbelief soon gave out to anger, and I kept cursing as Dhoni made his way out way, way sooner than he had expected to. Yuvraj was present at the other end, and suddenly the sight of "Current partnership: Yuvraj, Dhoni" seemed comforting. How many times had these two worked magic in combination in ODIs before? If there were ever two blokes to really get the team back on track, it was these two. Yuvraj had already hit a boundary within minutes of his coming to the crease, so I allowed myself to be partially comforted. Plus, this was Yuvraj's Big Chance to mark out a Permanent Position in the Indian Test team. Make sure Ganguly wasn't missed much.

But damn, did we miss Dada or what!

Yuvi and Dhoni chugged along for sometime, but Flintoff was bowling one of his inspired spells again. He attempted to work over both Dhoni and Yuvraj, and finally succeeded with the southpaw, having Yuvi nick one to second slip off Harmison, and the score stood at a precarious (I like understatements, 'kay?) 137/6.

Enter Bhajji, who hits a flurry of fours. Score at stumps on day 2 is 155/6, India 161 runs behind. Dhoni (24*) and Bhajji (13*) at the crease.

Not a great position to be in, yeah? In fact, a position so far from great, they'd need satellite phones to communicate, but you know, India always tended to overkill.

Ahem.

You know, I'd always thought of myself as one of those delightful "cynical Indian cricket fans" (better than the cocky ones anyday, trust me), and the series of successful games we'd been having recently bred that bit of paranoia in me, that little voice that told me that we were riding the crest of a wave that was going to crash soon. What happens when VirunGauti fail? What happens when Zaks and Ishu can't work their reverse-swing mojo? When Mishra's wrong 'uns stop surprising batsmen? When Dhoni's instincts backfire? A fielding change gone awry, an unnecessary shuffle of the attack? Won't India lose, and lose badly? Or was this team made of sterner stuff?

All these days, the cynics hadn't got much evidence to show on their plate - until now. See? they say, acid dripping down their lips, dribbling on their chins. A proper 5 man bowling attack and we flounder. Surely the Australian win was more a case of Australia losing than India winning? The team's in transition, the team is out of practice, the players' minds are cluttered, India cannot possibly stake a claim to no. 1 spot at this rate, Indian cricket is going nowhere and the bloody apocalypse is upon us.

Yep, they're sitting smug, all right.

I'm not a cynic, however, how much ever I'd like to think otherwise. I'm just as much of a hopeless optimist, deep inside. Dhoni is still there, an in-form Bhajji is still there, there's been a night to put the day behind them and start afresh tomorrow, and build and build and build and still somehow win the match. Dhoni ain't gonna give up, not with his team. If there is a chance to win, they're going to go for it. Again a test for his leadership. Plus he's the "mama". Chennai's new adopted son. Don't let us down, now, MS, or I'll be going "Enga Area ulla varadhey" (I'm being churlish, yeah, suck it up)

Let's see what happens, though. It's been an interesting Test match, and KP had the first day in the entire tour where he could look back upon the day's cricket and smile in satisfaction - and anticipation. We're gonna get a result, surely, and that's great.

Hang in there, MS, and Bhaj!!

(Plus, what is this I hear about Dhoni and dinner dates and Lakshmi Rai? Mahi, you surely deserve better! *dissolves into uncontrollable sobs*)