Facetiously uptight

Right. Now that Yusuf Pathan came out of nowhere and played a match-winning hand in South Africa, I think we've pretty much established that this series? Is totally awesome. I'm not a fan of YP, have never been (but given the choice is between Jadeja and YP, I'd go with the latter any day), but stuff like this is what ultimately makes the game so interesting.

I trawled through cyberspace for some good match reports (because for some reason I am just not able to stay up beyond 11 PM these past few weeks) when I stumbled across this.

While reading it, I was mostly annoyed and maybe a little amused (go figure) but guess who wrote it? Ayaz Memon. The dude who gave us the running commentary during the IPL auction and whose writing I used to like once upon a time. I have since lost a lot of respect for his 'expert opinion' after he became one of the yammering heads on TV, appearing in nearly every other match preview/review show, hobnobbing with the likes of Arun Lal and Navjot Singh Sidhu (and Sameer Kocchar!). IMO, nobody can come out of that without being tainted.

That said, the article was still annoying, and I want to pick apart a few points. He talks about the selection of the Indian squad for the World Cup, and how he thinks it's flawed. It's titled "Don't discount luck. And, oh, positive energy." Straight away, a laboured attempt at dismissive snark. Not working, Mr. Memon. You're trying too hard already.

This is how it starts off:

The vicissitudes of life could not have been made evident to Rohit Sharma and S. Sreesanth more dramatically than through the events of the past few days. In the Indian Premier League (IPL) auctions, Sharma fetched $2.1 million (Rs9.5 crore) from Mumbai Indians and Sreesanth raked in just under a million dollars as the talismanic player for the Kochi franchise.

A little over a week later, however, both these talented young players found themselves in the rubbish heap after the Indian team for the World Cup had been chosen. Do the IPL franchise owners know something about them that the Indian selectors don’t?

Let's see, now. Piyush Chawla, the other "surprising selection", raked in almost a million dollars in the IPL auction himself. No, I have no idea why all the franchises went after him, either. Pretty much like Sreesanth, eh?

Also, both Robin Uthappa and Jaidev Unadkat "raked in" a whole lot more money than, say, VVS Laxman and Ishant Sharma. Are you implying that means they are better? By using the IPL logic in a selection process for an event that is drastically different from the IPL, you have just shot yourself in the proverbial foot, Mr. Memon. Fail.

He then makes a couple of valid points about the team being short of a batsman. He suggests that the selectors ought to have gone with Dinesh Kaarthick or Parthiv Patel, who can serve the dual function of being an effective batsman, and reserve 'keeper. True enough. As I understand it, though, Chawla and Ashwin were included not just to add depth and variety to the attack, but also because of their all-round skills. I haven't seen much of this batting skills of theirs (although Ashwin did play a couple of crucial knocks for CSK in IPL 2010), but hey, what do I know. The selectors should have a much better idea. Still, I accept that as a good argument.

Then, the whole tone of the article changes:

Many serious cricket followers were not amused with chief selector Krishnamachari Srikkanth’s pleas to the public that they should send out positive vibes to the Indian team chosen for the World Cup.

[...]

Given the passion that cricket arouses in India, Srikkanth’s “everything’s fine, now let’s all create an aura of positive energy to win” seems like puerile mumbo-jumbo.

Because sports? Is SRS BSNZ, yo.

I mean, what the hell was that supposed to be? "serious cricket followers"... "not amused"... "puerile mumbo-jumbo". I thought sports is supposed to be about fun and positivity. Sure, it's become more of a business venture these days, and a very big option as an actual profession, but dude. Don't take a crap over a couple of fairly innocuous - if cliched - statements because the bowler you thought would be selected didn't make it!

Also, that was probably Srikkanth's way of saying, "look, we've selected who we thought were the 15 best men to represent the country in this shindig; you might as well go along with it." That's pretty much every selector's line, practically their prerogative, as much it is ours to criticise their selections. Why single out the man and his turn of phrase?

I say "single out" because Mr. Memon just does not stop going on and on about it:

Before I come to that, however, a bit about the man is in order. Srikkanth is among the more endearing cricketers I have known. He is unpretentious and chirpy, often brazen enough to call a spade a shovel and sometimes flippant enough to call a shovel a tablespoon.

(okay, I have to admit I love that last line)

When he became chief selector in late 2008, the appointment did not meet with universal validation in Indian cricket. I know of several of his peers who sniggered that he lacked the gravitas for the job.

[...]

I suspect this image was a hangover from his playing days. An engineer by qualification, Srikkanth was anything but precision-driven in his approach in the middle.

[...]

Such thoughtlessness was seen to extend to most areas of his cricket. His carefree batting—imagine a watered down version of Virender Sehwag—was considered irresponsible even if it was exciting and his tenure as Test player earned him perhaps more censure than approval from critics and experts.

Mavericks were not readily endured in Indian cricket those days, but to be honest, Srikkanth lacked even half the consistency of Sehwag to convince his detractors otherwise. In limited overs cricket, he was a major player with his derring-do and arguably the most influential batsman after Kapil Dev in India’s 1983 World Cup triumph.

[...]

If the rapid rise of the Indian team in the International Cricket Council (ICC) rankings since he became chief selector is any indication, then perhaps the “positive energy” syndrome he talks about may have worked.

And all of that is important, why? And look at those descriptions - "watered-down version of Sehwag", "irresponsible even if it was exciting," "lacked even half the consistency of Sehwag" - wow, I can see you have a high opinion of the man. Also, isn't there supposed to be a selection committee? I don't know why people fail to mention the fact that there are supposed to be five other men who make the decisions too. Srikkanth makes himself an open target, I admit - he is just so in-your-face, cheerily loud and says really crazy things some times, and I loved it when he started whistling when Sehwag was blasting away merrily in some Test match or the other - but at the end of the day he's making decisions based on the input he receives from the other committee members, and more importantly, the captain and the coach.

Then, again, the article changes tone:

I am being facetious, of course, but interestingly, historically, India’s fortunes in World Cup cricket have defied conventional logic. In 1983, for instance, to predict that Kapil Dev’s team would win the title was challenging sanity. But the impossible happened; India beat the mighty West Indies and the cricket world was turned upside down.

[...]

India had terrific teams in both the 1987 and 1996 World Cups. Mind you, both these tournaments were played in the subcontinent where conditions would suit the home team, but both times India lost in the semi-finals.

Again, in the T20 format, for the inaugural World Championship in South Africa, India were the last country to agree to play. [...] Against all expectations, Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s team triumphed and turned the cricket world downside up once again.

There is no gainsaying the fact that meticulous planning and perceptive team selection are of enormous value in sports. But in a major tournament, unlikely heroes are frequently thrown up and the luck factor cannot be discounted entirely.

Okaaay, so ultimately, what was your point? "This squad is imbalanced and wrong - and by the way, let me tell you all about how carefree and irresponsible a guy the chairman of the selection committee used to be, implying that his opinion can't be taken seriously - but what the hell. Selection doesn't matter to the Indian team in World Cups anyway." Really?

I mean, if this article was supposed to be snarky - like the title suggested - it would've worked. But it wasn't. It jumped from seriousness to sarcasm to outright dismissal like it was on LSD. Inconsistent writing, or Mr. Memon couldn't make up his mind? I don't know.

He finishes with mentioning his team for the World Cup - which excluded Nehra and Chawla and had Sreesanth and Rohit Sharma instead - and finally this:

But in hindsight, I am prepared to accept that the committee has done a decent job. Some luck Dhoni and Co. will need. Ah yes, positive energy from supporters too, as Srikkanth says.

Now where have I kept the beads for the winning mantra?

Ahahaha. :|

I expect so much better from you, Mr. Memon. If you'd just laid out your arguments for why you think Sree/Rohit/Kaarthick should've been included and why Nehra/Chawla should've been left out, I would've enjoyed it a lot more. Instead, what I got was a whole lot of Srikkanth's backstory and failed sarcasm.

India Darcy'd

Perhaps the contrasting performances of the two captains playing at number three best described the proceedings in the Twenty20 played between India and Sri Lanka on Thursday.

Sangakkara, suave, authoritative and just as articulate with the bat as he is with the English language, blasted 60-odd off 20-odd, while Dhoni left with a failed attempt at (once again) transcribing his ODI game into his Twenty20 one.

While not as big an Austen fan as some of my contemporaries, I've been very fond of Leela's "brown Mr. Darcy" assessment of Kumara Sangakkara.

India's problems probably started before the match itself.

For one, it's bowling "attack". Nehra, Dinda, Ishant Sharma. Yusuf Pathan.

... What?

Ishant Sharma has been dropped from the ODI and Test teams. So why was he in the Twenty20 team? Has he confidence or recent good performances in the shorter versions of the game on his side? Was he successful in the IPL? Hell, was he even part of a successful team in the IPL?

And what was with Zaheer Khan being treated like a giant pista and rested for the Twenty20s?

The less said about the fielding, the better.

The last time India -- the same India that's ostensibly deriding the highest echelons of the game, ruthlessly promoting Twenty20 to the point of blatant exploitation -- won a Twenty20 international convincingly was October 2007.

India falling prey to a lack of seriousness in Twenty20 that used to characterise its opponents in the past?

I don't know, but then again, I don't know how else to explain the selection of the likes of Ishant, Dinda, Yusuf Pathan, Rohit Sharma.

Omg yay, cricket!

Finally today we present to you... cricket! Yes folks, after more than a month, international cricket is back! The place to be is the M. Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bengaluru as India and Australia face off in the first of the four rubbers for the Border Gavaskar Trophy. And of course, if you can't be in Bangalore (like me) and can tolerate yapping ex-players, you can watch live-coverage with all the uber-cool slow-mo replays and closeups (and annoying ads every few minutes, but you know, yin with the yang and such-like). Or you could just follow Cricinfo's awesome online ball-by-ball commentary -- almost as good as the real thing!

Ricky has won the toss (Dhoni and Kumble suck at winning the toss, except Dhoni's lucky star has taken steps to remedy that recently - very busy, that star of his) and has elected to bat first on a veritable batting beauty. India have to bat fourth, but what the hell. Cameron White makes his debut ahead of Jason Krejza, and one has to actually say that Ponting has done Krejza a favour - the way the Board President's XI tore apart Krejza in the practice match, the senior team's handling would've probably left him scarred for life. But then again, I remember White more as a batting all-rounder, so it's an unenviable choice that Ponting has made. Let's see if White can pull off a Clarke, though.

The final elevens for the Test:

Australia

Katich
Hayden
Ponting
Hussey
Clarke
Watson
Haddin
White
Lee
Johnson
Clark

India

Gambhir
Sehwag
Dravid
Tendulkar
Ganguly
Laxman
Dhoni
Kumble
H. Singh
Z.Khan
I.Sharma

Pretty much predictable line-ups otherwise. It's going to be a good match - hopefully India'll get rid of the bad habit of starting a series badly and hit the ground running this time!

Let the cricket begin!

India: Bravado, Confusion and the R-Word

Yeah, so just two days left now, so let's get right into it, shall we?

There's been a lot of talk about how vulnerable this Australian team looks (comparitively, of course, these blokes are still an awesome team), and how India is totally going to smear them all across the proverbial wall and reclaim the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. Okay, that's not all that the talk's been about, but this is the general first impression that people get, comparing the two sides purely on paper. (Of course, by just records, stats and sheer weightage of talent, India would've almost always won on paper).

However the Indian team is going through tough times of its own, and the number one question on everybody's lips is: What of the Middle Order?

The Sri Lankan tour was a confusing one for most Indian cricket fans to endure. The magical triumverate (Ganguly, Dravid, Sachin -- I so totally don't believe in the Fab Four nonsense, 'cause Laxman still has so much to offer) totally flopped in the Test series against the Sri Lankans, mainly due to the wiles of an amazing rookie spinner, and the wily older one, who only grew more effective in the befuddling aura cast by his younger colleague, rather than being stifled by it. These two guys bowled in tandem, and the Middle Order was blown away. The Review System didn't help, sure, but nobody expected such an abject, collective failure. Their inability to handle the spinners (and looking totally undeserving of their 'best players of spin in the world' tag) was further accentuated by the successes of Sehwag (who was, who was, who was... can I say "brilliant"? *worships* ), Gambhir (Mr. Consistency, yo), and hell, even the likes of Harbhajan, Zaheer and Ishant (who is the best number eleven India's had in a long time)! While catches were dropped and the body language drooped, Kumble seemed uninspiring as captain on the field. He toiled and toiled, but wasn't producing many results (and he obviously couldn't match Jayawardene in shrewdly and carefully using the Review System). He was the least successful spinner in a series where all other bowlers thrived. End result? Series lost, 2-1. And then what happens? Dhoni and his merry band waltz in to play the ODI series against SL, the ODI squad containing only two of the Test eleven (Zaheer, Gambhir), and they win, 3-2. Not that they didn't have their problems, but at least most of them seemed to be able to put their hands up to work out the problem in times of need (headed admirably by the captain), made maximum use of the dollops of luck that came their way, and eventually took the trophy home.

Why this recap of what most Indian cricket fans will be familiar with anyway, you ask? Well, every drama needs a backstory, dunnit?

The R-Word (ahem, retirement) struck with full force, and the Middle Order, all of whom are well past the wrong side of 30, were being asked to 'gracefully hang up their boots' (which is a weird metaphor, if you think about it). They, of course, don't want to, and nor do their endless legions of fans. And so the debate raged. Have we allowed the batting order to grow old together? Is it too late to start blooding replacements? Are there any suitable ones? Or can they never be replaced (because, you know, people seem to think they're, like, cricketing gods or such-like)? Are the youngsters worthy, or are they all hankering after Twenty20, quick bucks and such-like, and refusing to enter the sanctum sanctorum of Test Cricket (please)? What about Anil Kumble? After all his Dignified Awesomeness in Australia, was he finally starting to feel the pinch of captaincy? Wasn't his own form dipping? With the dip in form, was he actually a good leader? Didn't he depend on the whole 'leading-from-the-front' stuff? Wasn't he 38, for Pete's sake? Was it time to let Dhoni take over the Test mantle as well? Or is Dhoni's not-so-impressive Test record going to work against him? Wasn't Dhoni burdened enough with roles of 'keeper, and saviour of the innings, ahem, I mean, lower middle order batsman? Is Sehwag a better candidate, or would it affect his game at a time we have finally hit upon a solid Test opening pair?

Whew! That's a lot of questions, there, people. So yeah, the Indian state of affairs are not exactly ideal, either.

My thoughts on the whole thing? Well, I'm not for a mass retirement or anything like that, but I feel if the Test team is to reinvent itself and not stagnate, like the ODI team did just about a year ago, then a transition has to take place, and I believe Dravid and Ganguly ought to be the first to go. Definitely Ganguly, for mine. Sure, he played some good innings last year and stuff, but his fielding, running, and even his footwork at the crease have all gone a little more rusty. Dravid seems to be going through one prolonged confidence crisis, and seems determined to stagnate at the crease (dude, I know he's called "The Wall", but in his heyday, he at least used to rotate the strike regularly!), but he's still the country's best slip fielder, and Kumble would never ever agree to the droppage of Dravid. So it had to be Ganguly. Right?

The Vengsarkar-led selection committee seemed to agree, and in their last act, dropped Ganguly from the Rest of India team for the Irani Trophy, which was supposed to a "virtual Test team". Surely, this was the end of Ganguly's career, 'cause at 36, even Sourav couldn't manage the Famous Comeback. Right?

Wrong.

Krishnamachari Srikkanth waltzed in with the new selection committee, and promptly selected Ganguly for the first two Tests against Aus, and somewhere in front of a TV my jaw clattered to the floor. I suppose he didn't want to disturb the team dynamics too much before such an important series, but seriously. Kris? Where did you hide your famous backbone?

But then again, maybe this might be a chance for the magical triumverate to retire in a blaze of glory, and gallop toward the setting sun, and other such cheesy cliches I'm embarrassed to admit my cheesy, romantic soul revels in. For one, I'm dead-certain Kumble will throw in the towel latest by the end of the Test series against England at the end of the year, after which Dhoni getting the Test captaincy should be a mere formality. I know it's a big burden, but I think he can handle it. Also, if he can pick up his Test batting skills and get a couple or so centuries under his belt this series, that'd really help in acheiving that end. The fact that Dhoni's Test record does not match up to his prolific ODI one has been the number one (and sometimes only) point of contention for his critics. I hope Dhoni destroys that bit of their leverage with this series. Sehwag is an option, true, but I feel it might affect his game. The key for India is for Sehwag to play with that seeming abandon, that simple philosophy of 'see ball, will hit'. We don't want his mind clouded with other stuff, and another prolonged form slump, do we? Just when VirunGauti were starting to become a phenomenon! (Besides, tactics isn't Sehwag's strong suit, either. Just saying.)

One thing I loved about the selection was that Badrinath was picked. Seriously, this guy's proverbial kuckles must be raw from knocking on the proverbial selectors' door all these years. He didn't impress in the Irani Trophy, or the BP XI match against the Aussies, though, and that worries me. Hello, totally bad time for bad form to hit! But the general consensus is that Badrinath would one day prove to the ideal replacement for Dravid and such-like, and we know that he has the full support of Dhoni and co., so here's hoping Badri, you know, becomes something like an Indian Mike Hussey. Because that'd be totally cool.

Yuvraj, Rohit and Raina, who weren't deemed good enough have totally impressed in the practice matches against the Aussies, though, and Hello! Awkward for the selectors.

Also, this whole thing about youngsters not being able to 'match up to the seniors' is starting to get on my nerves. Fine. Let's compare Badrinath's and Dravid's Test records, shall we? Or Rohit's and Tendulkar's? Wait a second! Rohit and Badrinath don't have Test records! So how in the whole wide world would we (dude, that was an impressive alliteration) know how they would perform as replacements without giving them a chance? And it's not like we're going to have a choice soon enough are we? I mean, yeah, Kumble and the Middle Order have given us some wonderful memories, and are among the finest players of their generation, but they're getting past it, and it's time to deal with it in a professional manner, like the Australians do. If the nostalgia becomes overwhelming, instead of cursing a youngster who 'has the audacity to think he can fill the boots of the wonderful/magnificent/godly Dravid/Tendulkar/Ganguly' (or something to that effect), go see a counsellor, okay?

Also, when the Middle Order made their first appearance together, I'm pretty sure they didn't hit their stride immediately. Give the new guys some time and patience too, yeah?

Bowling looks healthy with in-form Zaheer, Ishant and Munaf making up the pace attack. (I seriously doubt RP will get a game). Kumble is a tireless performer, and will no doubt only be fired up more after all the criticism, and Bhajji has got so much to play for, and of course, some bunnies (*cough* Ponting *cough*) to net. Amit Mishra's selection intrigued me - I thought Chawla/Ohja were the heirs apparent? However, I'm glad his domestic record and stints with the India A team have been recognised - I remember him being a very good lower order batsman too, so it's all good.

So, at the end of the uber long post, what do I mean to say? Things look mighty interesting at the Indian end of the spectrum, and the implications of this Test series on the national team could be more far-reaching than it appears superficially.

... Now, didn't that sound impressive?