This video's been inescapable over the last week, and I finally checked it out last night:
OK, look. There's a lot of rhapsodising about Chennai's civility, their, um, intellectual culture, all that jazz, and yeah. I've heard it all before. It's not that I didn't like it - rhapsodising about Chennai is one of my favourite pasttimes; Chennai is the only place I will ever love in or about India - but it's the same old cliches of the urban elite. Being involved in the pre-election circus as we are now, it's hard to believe anyone can call us evolved from the tree-jumping forms we used to be, leave alone "the most civilised metro in India". Granted, the only other "metros" I've been to in India are Bangalore, Hyderabad and Delhi - so if that's true, what does it say for the rest of the Indian urban life?
We South Indians are just more paranoid. That's it. We live a 'just in case' culture that has both its advantages and disadvantages.
Am I being lazy in generalising, you ask? To that, I tell you, sir, "Hypocrite!"
Also, I kept an eye on the SA v NZ match yesterday. Right from Amla's freak dismissal, I knew NZ were in with a chance. Did I expect such a dramatic collapse from the Saffers? Not really. I don't know what to say, except, look! Another cricketing cliche: the Saffers' bad luck when it comes to big-tournament crunch-games.
Showing posts with label Chokers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chokers. Show all posts
Friday, March 25, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The best laid schemes of mice and men, pt 2
a.k.a: HOOOLY SHIT!!!
I switched off the match when South Africa was 140/4. It was one in the morning, and I was tired and didn't want to make my holiday depressing. This morning I woke up to a text message from a friend that simply said "Ind won 1 run!"
Cue frantic consultation of TV news channels.
And GUYS. THEY DID WIN BY ONE RUN.
And do you know where it all went sideways for the Saffers?
The Batting Powerplay.
I mean, look. Smith was 70-odd, less than 20 overs to go, and barely 40 runs to win. India looking just as clueless as ever on the field. No sensible person would've expected anything other than a Saffer win. But they didn't.
Smith's plans in the Batting Powerplay went up in smoke, much like Dhoni's did.
And Munaf Patel? Wow. I mean, this is some serious luck. Hopefully this will be the boost India required to get their heads back in the game, and start looking a little less clueless.
It's a Pongal miracle, guys.
I switched off the match when South Africa was 140/4. It was one in the morning, and I was tired and didn't want to make my holiday depressing. This morning I woke up to a text message from a friend that simply said "Ind won 1 run!"
Cue frantic consultation of TV news channels.
And GUYS. THEY DID WIN BY ONE RUN.
And do you know where it all went sideways for the Saffers?
The Batting Powerplay.
I mean, look. Smith was 70-odd, less than 20 overs to go, and barely 40 runs to win. India looking just as clueless as ever on the field. No sensible person would've expected anything other than a Saffer win. But they didn't.
Smith's plans in the Batting Powerplay went up in smoke, much like Dhoni's did.
And Munaf Patel? Wow. I mean, this is some serious luck. Hopefully this will be the boost India required to get their heads back in the game, and start looking a little less clueless.
It's a Pongal miracle, guys.
Friday, March 26, 2010
From Eye-Stabbing to Jaundiced
One of the few pleasures of being a Chennai Super Kings fan is the sitting around during breaks, trying to come up with new names for the colour of their costume ("uniform" doesn't sit well with the whole shindig, and "gear"? Gaaah, I'll pass).
From digusting poetry ("like the buttery sunshine that breaks through dense foliage on a pleasant summer afternoon") to disgustingly medical ("purulent exudate from an abscess"), it's been rather fun. I used to settle for the all-occasions "Men In Startlingly Bright Yellow", but it these days it often vacillates between "Eye-stabbing" to just plain "jaundiced".
Was there any other point to supporting the team?
... Oh, oh right. The cricket.
I honestly believe if these jaundiced men had gotten their asses into gear at the right moments, our w/l tally would be 5-1.
See, the game against-
... okay, let me try that again. The GAME AGAINST P-
Oh, lord. Fine. THAT game. The game I'm trying my hardest to forget, the game that actually haunted my dreams the night I saw it played. We were - we -
Geez. But really: that exposed something vital in the inner circuitry of the team. And it has been malfunctioning ever since. Contrary to popular opinion, I believe Raina did the best he could. It's just that something vital's just missing. Against Punjab (yes, I said it - I think I may be moving on. No padded rooms for me, nossir), where our middle order was cracked open like a rotten egg, we found a man unable to handle the pressure that he is meant to handle: Albie Morkel. If Ashwin was determined to be monumentally idiotic in the last over, I would endeavour to say Morkel was even more so, in giving Ashwin the chance to be monumentally idiotic!
That's where, friends, we need Dhoni.
Dhoni isn't revered because he's got prodigious talent with the bat/gloves (he doesn't), or that he's the greatest tactician out there (he isn't), or because he's got some supernatural Jedi-like ability to calmly smile in the face of an approaching tsunami (he'd be sensible and run like hell). It lies primarily in his ability to go out there, see the situation for what it is, and stop it from going sideways (most of the time). He's built most of his success as captain/batsman in making sure his team doesn't fall into the hole it resolutely persists in digging, and that's exactly what we needed there, exactly what Raina provided in our win against Delhi (seems so long ago). Except he got run-out for a needless run (all run-outs are for "needless runs", if you'll notice) against Punjab, and neither Parthiv nor Albie had it in them to take up the responsibility.
This, needless to say, is worrying.
It was like watching your favourite cousin fail in the finals after topping the class the whole year. :(
So, anyway: major dent to the psyche? Check.
Next game: Bangalore.
Look, nobody was really expecting CSK to win this one, and being the gracious team that they are, they obliged.
But how!
CSK, here's a clue: if you're gonna lose, do it humiliatingly. 100 runs, ten wickets, I don't care. That's it. Make me not care.
Don't lose... like this! (because "going down fighting" is a load of bull-crap that doesn't change anything except make you depressed and anxious; "going down with a thump" is something you can laugh off and forget)
Raina was awesome on the field as captain. Like I said, responsibility does him good! I really liked his body-language, and liked even better that that language expressed in great stops and stunning catches.
Unfortunately, the Tamilians in the squad had been hit by an Evil Supernatural Jinx greasopalmus. It's a terrible blight. I present my case:
First, Balaji dropping Kallis off Morkel. "Lost the ball in the background"? Hm.
Second, Ashwin dropping Uthappa while nearly colliding into Tyagi. What are you playing, people? An under-15 friendly?????
Third, Vijay dropping Uthappa at long-on, with no excuse. It's the kind of catch he would catch blindfolded, one arm amputated and the other with just three fingers on. And he dropped it, with all his faculties in full function. Dropped it!
And 35 runs were scored in the next two overs! (And Raina, I thought, made a serious tactical error in saving up Balaji and Ashwin for the death. Either one of them in the end is risky enough. But both? Nuh-uh.)
And "Robbie" Uthappa won the MoM! And he has the NERVE to say that he "wanted to stay till the very end"! What he should've said is, "I'd like to dedicate this award to my South Zone teammates from TN, who were kind enough to recognise that my career as an international player is close to non-existent, and help me out in that regard, as they are generally wont to do, given their modest, reserved and helpful natures. Guys, I can't thank you enough. Three jigarthandas on me next time we play in Chennai."
"GAH" is sometimes all you can say.
So: 172? No big deal, right? Easy.
Except Parthiv gets out early and Raina makes Serious Tactical Error No. 2: George Bailey.
No. 3, yo. Raina, it's YOUR position, and nobody else's. Particularly if that nobody's name starts with "George" and ends with "Bailey."
Mr. Bailey ate up a lot of balls and regurgitated nothing, until I was practically begging at the TV, "George, just get out." He obliged, but only after getting Hayden run-out. And I had practically blown my last remaining fuse by then.
It was too much, too late for the rest, and we folded predictably. And guess how many runs we lost by?
Thirty-six.
I bet Vijay's hands were burning at that point.
Speaking of bets, next match: Mumbai. Again, not one a lot of people were expecting us to win, but hey, Dhoni's back! And that raises the awesomeness by a few hundred degrees.
Buoyed by all the awesomeness and annoyed beyond measure that a lot of my classmates seemed to supporting Mumbai ("Sachin's there" is NOT an excuse. Arre, does nobody get territorial about sporting teams anymore??), I proclaimed, rather bravely, that CSK was bound to win.
And we started off well, we did.
A) No George Bailey. All rounder replacing all-rounder, i.e., Perera (who I was frightened to find out is only a year older than me) replacing Kemp. Great.
B) Dhoni's playing.
C) That point deserves repeating. DHONI. IN THE TEAM.
D) Ashwin out, Jakati in.
E) Raina walking in at No. 3.
We batted well, Raina and Badri were so awesome, but they were never really able to... just. push. the. gear. up. one. more. notch. It was a bloody shame that we were able to scrounge up only 7 overs off the last over with two batsmen who'd been out there for 15 overs at the crease, but Malinga bowled genuinely well.
So. Bowling and fielding. The single most undisciplined effort I've seen from CSK all tournament. It was painful to watch: the sheer no of wides, no-balls, sloppy stops that gave the batsmen opportunities to sneak in extra runs - was this the same team that was so delightfully sharp on the field just a couple of games ago? We really need to pull ourselves together, and fast.
Still, a few timely wickets, and the match was sweetly balanced at the end of 16 overs.
Then Perera came on to bowl, and Dhoni said ten agonising minutes later, "Hm. That might have been a mistake."
Five full-tosses. "Juicy" as they say. All of them hit for four. Twenty-one runs off the over. It was like some sort of mini Groundhog Day: Perera would run in, bowl a full toss, Sachin/Pollard would flick it off, and poof! boundary, Perera would grimace and groan, and Dhoni would get this look that says, "well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...." and then Perera would run in to bowl again, and -
You get the general idea.
Game, set and match after that.
CSK need to do some collective soul-searching. I firmly believe that this is a team with vastly underestimated players - so underestimated, in fact, the players do it themselves. They've got to figure out their roles, and need to forget 21/3/2010. It never existed.
Also, we've got the absolute worst reserve bench in the whole of the IPL. Thishara Perera? Look, I know the guy was good in India last year for Sri Lanka, but he's young, inexperienced. I thought we had Thilan Thushara in the ranks? And you know who would've been perfect? Nuwan Kulasekara. I cannot believe that he wasn't snapped up by any IPL franchise (I think).
Local players? Hi, where are the bowlers? Playing for other teams! It's actually kind of pathetic. We've got a weak pool to choose from, it's sad.
Still, we're an awesome outfit. I love this team way too much to be cussing it for prolonged periods, and I think we're in for a turnaround. Lessee.
(And it's in these kind of moments that I really, really miss Amy. :( )
From digusting poetry ("like the buttery sunshine that breaks through dense foliage on a pleasant summer afternoon") to disgustingly medical ("purulent exudate from an abscess"), it's been rather fun. I used to settle for the all-occasions "Men In Startlingly Bright Yellow", but it these days it often vacillates between "Eye-stabbing" to just plain "jaundiced".
Was there any other point to supporting the team?
... Oh, oh right. The cricket.
I honestly believe if these jaundiced men had gotten their asses into gear at the right moments, our w/l tally would be 5-1.
See, the game against-
... okay, let me try that again. The GAME AGAINST P-
Oh, lord. Fine. THAT game. The game I'm trying my hardest to forget, the game that actually haunted my dreams the night I saw it played. We were - we -
Geez. But really: that exposed something vital in the inner circuitry of the team. And it has been malfunctioning ever since. Contrary to popular opinion, I believe Raina did the best he could. It's just that something vital's just missing. Against Punjab (yes, I said it - I think I may be moving on. No padded rooms for me, nossir), where our middle order was cracked open like a rotten egg, we found a man unable to handle the pressure that he is meant to handle: Albie Morkel. If Ashwin was determined to be monumentally idiotic in the last over, I would endeavour to say Morkel was even more so, in giving Ashwin the chance to be monumentally idiotic!
That's where, friends, we need Dhoni.
Dhoni isn't revered because he's got prodigious talent with the bat/gloves (he doesn't), or that he's the greatest tactician out there (he isn't), or because he's got some supernatural Jedi-like ability to calmly smile in the face of an approaching tsunami (he'd be sensible and run like hell). It lies primarily in his ability to go out there, see the situation for what it is, and stop it from going sideways (most of the time). He's built most of his success as captain/batsman in making sure his team doesn't fall into the hole it resolutely persists in digging, and that's exactly what we needed there, exactly what Raina provided in our win against Delhi (seems so long ago). Except he got run-out for a needless run (all run-outs are for "needless runs", if you'll notice) against Punjab, and neither Parthiv nor Albie had it in them to take up the responsibility.
This, needless to say, is worrying.
It was like watching your favourite cousin fail in the finals after topping the class the whole year. :(
So, anyway: major dent to the psyche? Check.
Next game: Bangalore.
Look, nobody was really expecting CSK to win this one, and being the gracious team that they are, they obliged.
But how!
CSK, here's a clue: if you're gonna lose, do it humiliatingly. 100 runs, ten wickets, I don't care. That's it. Make me not care.
Don't lose... like this! (because "going down fighting" is a load of bull-crap that doesn't change anything except make you depressed and anxious; "going down with a thump" is something you can laugh off and forget)
Raina was awesome on the field as captain. Like I said, responsibility does him good! I really liked his body-language, and liked even better that that language expressed in great stops and stunning catches.
Unfortunately, the Tamilians in the squad had been hit by an Evil Supernatural Jinx greasopalmus. It's a terrible blight. I present my case:
First, Balaji dropping Kallis off Morkel. "Lost the ball in the background"? Hm.
Second, Ashwin dropping Uthappa while nearly colliding into Tyagi. What are you playing, people? An under-15 friendly?????
Third, Vijay dropping Uthappa at long-on, with no excuse. It's the kind of catch he would catch blindfolded, one arm amputated and the other with just three fingers on. And he dropped it, with all his faculties in full function. Dropped it!
And 35 runs were scored in the next two overs! (And Raina, I thought, made a serious tactical error in saving up Balaji and Ashwin for the death. Either one of them in the end is risky enough. But both? Nuh-uh.)
And "Robbie" Uthappa won the MoM! And he has the NERVE to say that he "wanted to stay till the very end"! What he should've said is, "I'd like to dedicate this award to my South Zone teammates from TN, who were kind enough to recognise that my career as an international player is close to non-existent, and help me out in that regard, as they are generally wont to do, given their modest, reserved and helpful natures. Guys, I can't thank you enough. Three jigarthandas on me next time we play in Chennai."
"GAH" is sometimes all you can say.
So: 172? No big deal, right? Easy.
Except Parthiv gets out early and Raina makes Serious Tactical Error No. 2: George Bailey.
No. 3, yo. Raina, it's YOUR position, and nobody else's. Particularly if that nobody's name starts with "George" and ends with "Bailey."
Mr. Bailey ate up a lot of balls and regurgitated nothing, until I was practically begging at the TV, "George, just get out." He obliged, but only after getting Hayden run-out. And I had practically blown my last remaining fuse by then.
It was too much, too late for the rest, and we folded predictably. And guess how many runs we lost by?
Thirty-six.
I bet Vijay's hands were burning at that point.
Speaking of bets, next match: Mumbai. Again, not one a lot of people were expecting us to win, but hey, Dhoni's back! And that raises the awesomeness by a few hundred degrees.
Buoyed by all the awesomeness and annoyed beyond measure that a lot of my classmates seemed to supporting Mumbai ("Sachin's there" is NOT an excuse. Arre, does nobody get territorial about sporting teams anymore??), I proclaimed, rather bravely, that CSK was bound to win.
And we started off well, we did.
A) No George Bailey. All rounder replacing all-rounder, i.e., Perera (who I was frightened to find out is only a year older than me) replacing Kemp. Great.
B) Dhoni's playing.
C) That point deserves repeating. DHONI. IN THE TEAM.
D) Ashwin out, Jakati in.
E) Raina walking in at No. 3.
We batted well, Raina and Badri were so awesome, but they were never really able to... just. push. the. gear. up. one. more. notch. It was a bloody shame that we were able to scrounge up only 7 overs off the last over with two batsmen who'd been out there for 15 overs at the crease, but Malinga bowled genuinely well.
So. Bowling and fielding. The single most undisciplined effort I've seen from CSK all tournament. It was painful to watch: the sheer no of wides, no-balls, sloppy stops that gave the batsmen opportunities to sneak in extra runs - was this the same team that was so delightfully sharp on the field just a couple of games ago? We really need to pull ourselves together, and fast.
Still, a few timely wickets, and the match was sweetly balanced at the end of 16 overs.
Then Perera came on to bowl, and Dhoni said ten agonising minutes later, "Hm. That might have been a mistake."
Five full-tosses. "Juicy" as they say. All of them hit for four. Twenty-one runs off the over. It was like some sort of mini Groundhog Day: Perera would run in, bowl a full toss, Sachin/Pollard would flick it off, and poof! boundary, Perera would grimace and groan, and Dhoni would get this look that says, "well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...." and then Perera would run in to bowl again, and -
You get the general idea.
Game, set and match after that.
CSK need to do some collective soul-searching. I firmly believe that this is a team with vastly underestimated players - so underestimated, in fact, the players do it themselves. They've got to figure out their roles, and need to forget 21/3/2010. It never existed.
Also, we've got the absolute worst reserve bench in the whole of the IPL. Thishara Perera? Look, I know the guy was good in India last year for Sri Lanka, but he's young, inexperienced. I thought we had Thilan Thushara in the ranks? And you know who would've been perfect? Nuwan Kulasekara. I cannot believe that he wasn't snapped up by any IPL franchise (I think).
Local players? Hi, where are the bowlers? Playing for other teams! It's actually kind of pathetic. We've got a weak pool to choose from, it's sad.
Still, we're an awesome outfit. I love this team way too much to be cussing it for prolonged periods, and I think we're in for a turnaround. Lessee.
(And it's in these kind of moments that I really, really miss Amy. :( )
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Agonising just got a new name
Yep, it has.
It's called "being a CSK fan".
As I start this post, CSK are 179/9, 11 runs to get off the last 2 balls, tailenders getting themselves run-out all over the place to get Morkel on strike.
Likely we're about to lose by 10 runs or less. Figures that the only two close matches in this year's tournament so far involve CSK. I'd like to spin some spiel about how "CSK always go down fighting", but we all know that's not the truth.
Ah, look, there's the result: CSK lose by 9 runs. Great.
There seems to be a central theme to the team's performance over the two seasons of the IPL. One, everything we do at the death sucks. Our bowling, our batting, our fielding. Today we got the most awesome start to the chase we could dare to ask for, with Hayden going bonkers at the likes of Nannes, Salvi and Nehra. Parthiv was giving him fantastic support, and after him Raina got smoothly into his groove as well. 40-odd runs to get off the last 5 overs. Piece of cake.
We score barely 30-odd runs in the last 5, losing 6 wickets, after going at more than 10 in the first 15, losing 3.
It happened quite a bit in last years' edition, too (with a few notable exceptions). This time, too, that Flintoff over that conceded 22 runs. Morkel's series of gaffes (that extended to his batting, too, but I'll get to that later). Muralitharan proving to be expensive as well. Gony feeding Dilshan boundaries. Ha ha, IRONY that Balaji turned out to be our best bowler today.
Another was how we completely failed to latch onto the big moments. Yeah, you know the ones. The match-turning kind. Like Suresh Raina dropping Yusuf Pathan (who was then only in single-digit figures) in the final last year, Morkel dropping AB today, or Flintoff bowling that one rubbish over in the end that goes for way too many runs than it should. Hayden dropping Tendulkar. Gony being rubbish on the field.
It's okay if your team is trampled upon by the opposition, I can toss my head back and belly-laugh it out of my system. Like the time RR had Sohail Tanvir put us through the meat-shredder the first time CSK played them last year. I could only laugh and laugh and laugh and think "it sucks to be them right now, huh."
Except most times CSK lose like this and I'm left tearing my hair out.
AB deVilliers has won the man-of-the-match, I think.
No fair. The man-of-the-match award should go to Mr. Morkel. He was the one who won it for the Daredevils after all.
16.2
Salvi to Morkel, no run, short, sitting up for the pull, but Morkel mistimes, and plays it straight to midwicket. Dot Ball. That's big
16.3
Salvi to Morkel, 1 run, another short delivery, Morkel is a touch late into the pull, and only just manages to clear AB at midwicket
18.4
Vettori to Morkel, 1 leg bye, lovely bowling again, Morkel looks to make room, Vettori follows with an arm-ball, getting just a leg-bye
18.5
Vettori to Gony, SIX, and Gony turns it around, Vettori had bowled so far this game, with this flighted delivery is clubbed from down on a knee, this could well be eight over midwicket boundary
19.1
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, Joginder makes room, lofts it over extra cover, but they stroll only for two
19.2
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, just short of a length, Joginder slaps it to wide of long-on, and they take two again. Surprising? Wouldn't they want Morkel on strike?
It's called "being a CSK fan".
As I start this post, CSK are 179/9, 11 runs to get off the last 2 balls, tailenders getting themselves run-out all over the place to get Morkel on strike.
Likely we're about to lose by 10 runs or less. Figures that the only two close matches in this year's tournament so far involve CSK. I'd like to spin some spiel about how "CSK always go down fighting", but we all know that's not the truth.
Ah, look, there's the result: CSK lose by 9 runs. Great.
There seems to be a central theme to the team's performance over the two seasons of the IPL. One, everything we do at the death sucks. Our bowling, our batting, our fielding. Today we got the most awesome start to the chase we could dare to ask for, with Hayden going bonkers at the likes of Nannes, Salvi and Nehra. Parthiv was giving him fantastic support, and after him Raina got smoothly into his groove as well. 40-odd runs to get off the last 5 overs. Piece of cake.
We score barely 30-odd runs in the last 5, losing 6 wickets, after going at more than 10 in the first 15, losing 3.
It happened quite a bit in last years' edition, too (with a few notable exceptions). This time, too, that Flintoff over that conceded 22 runs. Morkel's series of gaffes (that extended to his batting, too, but I'll get to that later). Muralitharan proving to be expensive as well. Gony feeding Dilshan boundaries. Ha ha, IRONY that Balaji turned out to be our best bowler today.
Another was how we completely failed to latch onto the big moments. Yeah, you know the ones. The match-turning kind. Like Suresh Raina dropping Yusuf Pathan (who was then only in single-digit figures) in the final last year, Morkel dropping AB today, or Flintoff bowling that one rubbish over in the end that goes for way too many runs than it should. Hayden dropping Tendulkar. Gony being rubbish on the field.
It's okay if your team is trampled upon by the opposition, I can toss my head back and belly-laugh it out of my system. Like the time RR had Sohail Tanvir put us through the meat-shredder the first time CSK played them last year. I could only laugh and laugh and laugh and think "it sucks to be them right now, huh."
Except most times CSK lose like this and I'm left tearing my hair out.
AB deVilliers has won the man-of-the-match, I think.
No fair. The man-of-the-match award should go to Mr. Morkel. He was the one who won it for the Daredevils after all.
16.2
Salvi to Morkel, no run, short, sitting up for the pull, but Morkel mistimes, and plays it straight to midwicket. Dot Ball. That's big
16.3
Salvi to Morkel, 1 run, another short delivery, Morkel is a touch late into the pull, and only just manages to clear AB at midwicket
18.4
Vettori to Morkel, 1 leg bye, lovely bowling again, Morkel looks to make room, Vettori follows with an arm-ball, getting just a leg-bye
18.5
Vettori to Gony, SIX, and Gony turns it around, Vettori had bowled so far this game, with this flighted delivery is clubbed from down on a knee, this could well be eight over midwicket boundary
19.1
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, Joginder makes room, lofts it over extra cover, but they stroll only for two
19.2
Nannes to Joginder Sharma, 2 runs, just short of a length, Joginder slaps it to wide of long-on, and they take two again. Surprising? Wouldn't they want Morkel on strike?
No, Mr. Commentator, they wouldn't.
I'm sorry if I'm being unfair to Morkel - it's possible that he just had a really crappy day - but I'm deeply frustrated with the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow right now. Chokers, that's what they are. First-rate Chokers.
Dhoni's saying that he hoped his bowlers were paying attention to the way Delhi bowled at the death. Yeah, Freddie, that one was especially for you. Considering you've been quite the Magnanimous One with your bowling at the death, in both the matches that we've lost so far.
Damn it all. Chennai's gonna end up choking its way to the bottom of the table. No use in claiming that we lose decently.
Then they can all come back to their chicken biryanis and thayirsaadams and Padmashrees and watch Mumbai play Delhi in the final on a big flatscreen TV.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Feet-in-mouth, and last-over thriller thingamajigs
In the case of one Matthew Hayden, one has to wonder.
It'd be easy to say, 'woah, what a case of foot-in-mouth right there', but in Hayden's case, no. It just doesn't seem to be... enough.
Feet with the smelly socks on, maybe? Or is there something caught between his toes he wants to pry out by his teeth? Because, seriously, this:
http://inhome.rediff.com/cricket/2008/nov/13hayden-calls-india-third-world-country.htm
It'd be easy to say, 'woah, what a case of foot-in-mouth right there', but in Hayden's case, no. It just doesn't seem to be... enough.
Feet with the smelly socks on, maybe? Or is there something caught between his toes he wants to pry out by his teeth? Because, seriously, this:
http://inhome.rediff.com/cricket/2008/nov/13hayden-calls-india-third-world-country.htm
Often we find ourselves waiting with hands on hips for someone to face up or
someone on the sight board to move away or some of those little frustrations
happening with third world countries.
Wow, geez, Haydos, awesome work there.
It's not so much the reference to India as a 'third world country' that bothers me (thought it initially irked me too), or the not-so-subtle whining about the facilities and the hold-ups and the weather (because, seriously? how many times have we heard that excuse? Plus, let's face it, some of it's true). It's just... Hayden's utter and complete LACK of a sense of diplomacy, propriety, or grace. It just makes it so easy to label him a 'sore loser' here, as several people have already done.
Already, just seven months ago, in a similar moments of socks-in-mouthedness, he had called Harbhajan 'an obnoxious little weed' (which I secretly agreed with) and mocked Ishant Sharma, ridiculed a freakin' nineteen year old, and invited him onto a boxing ring with him among other things, on live public radio.
He came out of that - somehow - his reputation permanently scarred, and himself open to endless lines of ridicule that range from 'weeds' to shadow-boxing by the bowler once he got him out.
And then, he comes up with this, as if that weren't enough. I'm sure you mean well, Haydos, but for a grizzled veteran like you, all of 37 years old, with so much India-experience and knowledge of how sensitive people can be here (most recent reminder being monkeygate, Jan '08), you ought to have had some inkling about how badly your 'third world' comment could be taken over here. Which is: pretty freakin' badly.
So yeah, Matt, I'm gonna call you a sore loser. With yellowed socks in his mouth. Or toenails. Ew.
The whole situation is given a brilliant perspective here: http://tcwj.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-am-proud-to-belong-to-third-world.html
Great stuff.
Plus, Haydos?Next time you come to India to play the IPL and the Champions League and the kazillion other Twenty20 leagues and earn millions of dollars, don't think you can win us over again with the interviews and the cooking shows and the broad smiles and the "oh, I love India! So exotic" spiel. You play for Chennai Super Kings, and I hate to hate anybody on that team, because I adore it, 'kay? 'Kay.
So I don't hate you. But seriously, talk about biting the hand that feeds you...
Also!
While beginning this post, the third match of the ODI series between West Indies and Pakistan was in its final moments. Pakistan had virtually won the series, leading 2-0, but the Windies seemed hell-bent on making it 2-1 for the record books. Which is, great. Yeah.
So WI was 205/6 at the end of the 42nd over when I started typing, chasing 274 to win. Required rate wasn't really that challenging, Chris Gayle still there, just completed yet another one-day ton. He took apart the over-rated (imo) Ifthikar Anjum in the 43rd for 19 runs, including 2 massive sixes, and the Windies could afford to smile a bit.
Great, right?
Well, not really.
Next over, Gul (who is MADE OF AWESOME) comes barelling in and removes Gayle and score's at 232/7.
Uh oh.
Then a couple of overs later, Gul strikes again - and again - and the score's 240/9.
Only one possible result from there, right?
Sohail Tanvir finished the final formalities and Windies? 242 all out, losing by 31 runs.
See? The proverbial match pendulum, witnessed within the space of typing out (half of) a blog post. *grins stupidly*
Third match in a freakin' row that they lost from a winning position. The series is 3-0, yeah, but that could've been so easily in favour of the Windies, but I guess that'll happen only when the team begins to show that it ISN'T made entirely of Chris Gayle and Shivnarine Chanderpaul.
I mean, the last over in the first ODI? Gayle century, 20 runs required off the last over for Pak, Taylor, their best bowler bowling, freakin' Kamran Akmal on strike, you'd think the Windies have the match sewn-up tight, but no. Akmal hits TWO SIXES and the other runs and Pakistan won. Second ODI? Bowled out Pak for just 232, Chanderpaul hits a century, and what happens? Pakistan won. Third ODI? Chris Gayle scores century, hits the rampage mode at the right time and the target looks well within sight, and what happens? Pakistan won.
Seriously. The Windies don't even deserve the 'Chokers' tag. Pathetic.
But still, we get the last-over thriller thingamajigs, a thin layer of temporary balm is spread over the much-hurt and ostracised Pakistani cricket lover, as their national team finally gets some international cricket and the sweet taste of hard-earned victory, so all's okay.
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