Sanga Kumagarra, he's DLF-ed it!

Yes, yes indeed he has, Danny Morrison.

This IPL, it's a fascinating thing. Even miles from the nearest TV (a sad, sad fact that I never have and never will stop harping about) this year's tournament has had me just as captivated, annoyed, tired and wishing greatly for a shiny scythe and magical teleportation abilities to South Africa (or maybe just a couple of free plane tickets. And NO WITNESSES.) The Internet is there, sure, there's the online commentary, there're the wonderful blogs to read, and even when that's not available, there's my mobile phone and the meagre updates that it can provide, like little crumbs I can pop into my mouth and savour. Somehow, following the IPL from a distance has made it even more enjoyable, where I'm not wearied by the cricket, by the hype, or by the incessant prattling of the billion news channels and the zillion match 'preview and analysis' shows. No greater joy than eagerly seeking out match news with like-minded friends in between classes, after finishing this test, while preparing for that exam.

And 'sides, it makes the actual few times that I get to see live cricket all that much sweeter.

I've seen/read/heard a lot of complaints, taunts and general bullshitting about the commentary, but honestly? I think I'm enjoying it. Seriously. Aside from the annoying sponsor-name-whoring, I don't think it's any different at all from what I usually hear. But then again, I've been brought up as cricket fan on a diet of supreme mediocrity from Neo Sports and related channels. I have never once been able to escape the horrors of Rameez Raja, Arun Lal, Ranjit Fernando, Laxman Sivaramakrishnan, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram, Aamir Sohail et al.... so yeah. I'ma gonna take what I ca' get.

Like Danny Morrison. Lord, do I love his accent. Half the time I don't even listen to what he's saying. Even when he's horribly mauling Sri Lankan names. :-D

Anyhow, the IPL has finally finished with its league phase, and the semifinals are here.

Time for a brief set of reflections and recriminations.

First off, MUMBAI. Mumbai, Mumbai, Mumbai. HOW. How could you do this to me. Several times before and during the tournament I had pegged MI to be the champions this year because they just seemed so right to me on so many counts. In terms of team balance, in terms of form and performance, reserves and support staff, they looked - and still do - like a stable and strong squad, well and truly capable of taking the IPL by storm. The cool, well-planned and efficient way they defeated Chennai in the first match of the tournament only seemed to reaffirm that for me.

Then what did they do?

Why, they proceeded to choke, choke, choke, and then choke one more time, lose a series of matches they really ought not to have lost, and then ended up not qualifying for the semifinals, finishing only ahead of the pathetic Kolkata Knightriders.

So yeah, thanks for nothing, Sachin.

Secondly, I will never cease marvelling at Deccan's and Bangalore's amazing turnaround of fortunes this year. After ending up at the very bottom of last year's table, these two teams have ended up in this year's semifinal lineup, and it didn't take any radical changes to their team to do it this time, either. Deccan started off strongly before channelling their inner Chennai to waver a bit, lose and win an odd game here and there, and finally end up doing just enough to qualify for the semis.

As for Bangalore, Mr. Kumble, who are you and what have you done with the real Bangalore Royal Challengers, huh?

Thirdly, Delhi. 10 wins out of 14 matches, super-strong batting, a bowling attack so good they can afford to bench somebody like Glenn McGrath, razor-sharp fielding, and most importantly, that extra bit of luck, that innate champions' mojo that's seen them through most tight situations. Favourites for the trophy, right?

Maybe. I can't really bring myself to care. Maybe it's because I've been to Delhi once, and my memories of the city aren't great. Maybe it's my inherent dislike of AB deVilliers, Dinesh Kaarthick and Dirk Nannes (don't ask me why, I have no idea), I dunno.

But I am glad VirunGauti are back in action - at last. Bodes well for the national team in the upcoming World T20.

Fourthly, CHENNAI! Lord, for all that I love and support the Super Kings, they've managed to infuriate me like nothing else has for the last month. First off, the muddled thinking when it came to the bowling. The fact that Dhoni very conveniently managed to forget certain bowlers in his XI (hello, Shadab Jakati!), the fact that Gony was being almost mindlessly persisted with, the fact that Morkel seemed to wilt under pressure almost each and every time, the fact that Balaji's death bowling would come apart in the most inopportune moments, the fact that Muralitharan wasn't performing upto expectations nearly as much as one would want him to, considering he's the one quality international specialist bowler in the eleven... all that added up to the weakest bowling attack in the IPL.

A weak bowling attack that never ceased to slap you upside the head with its performance from match to match.

From bowling out Bangalore for 87 and keeping Punjab to just 92 for 8 in 20, to utterly failing to defend 188 runs against the most pathetic team in the tournament (that match had my blood pressure off the charts, it did) and nearly making a meal of defending 185 against Punjab before the Preternaturally Awesome Raina bailed us out... it was quite a ride. And this was without somebody like Makhaya Ntini getting a lookin.

That's not to mention the fielding, which, hello. Not. even. worth. talking. about. I'll say this though: after Bangalore's finished whupping our asses this Saturday, it'll be those dropped catches and stuttering ground fielding that'll come to haunt the Men in Startlingly Bright Yellow, and no amount of "it was pathetic" and "we're repeating our mistakes" from Dhoni will do anything to change the final results.

The batting's not too tough to figure out: it had Hayden as the centre of its little personal universe, with Raina being the other shining beacon. Dhoni took some time to kick off, but did hit form somewhere in the middle. However, even his most successful outings in the centre came in partnership with either Raina or Hayden, which meant that our famed lower middle order turned out to be a Big Flop, with neither Morkel or Oram living up to expectations. I had Albie pegged as Chennai's go-to man before the tournament - things have unfortunately panned out otherwise. Obviously I should cross out "oracle" and "bookie" from my list of future career options (what, you can totally become an oracle after completing your medical degree!)

Badri had his moments, and I am just so impressed with and excited for Suresh Raina. His consistency with the bat this tournament has been wonderful, and he totally should've become the first Indian centurion in the IPL if it had not been for that stupid scoreboard in Centurion (hello, irony!). And his bowling? Wow! The part-timers have been burning it up this tournament. I mean to say, hat-trick to Rohit Sharma? Two hat-tricks to Yuvraj Singh?? Unbelievable.

Despite all the things that nagged me about CSK, they did manage to qualify for the semis in second place. We always had somebody or the other stand up for the team - in ways big or small - when it really mattered, and once they get their selection matters sorted out in a clearer way (read: select Ravichandran Ashwin some more!) we might actually have a very realistic chance to turn the ass-whupping tables on Bangalore in the semifinal this Saturday.

Maybe.

But hey, Dhoni obviously hasn't lost his captaincy mojo, and in the end, that may be all that matters.

Oh, Rajasthan... how the mighty do fall! From last year's champions to not qualifying for the semis this time round... I always did know the entry of The Shetty was going to do no good. That said, however good a captain Warne is, there're some gaps that can't be filled, and Tanvir and Watson did leave some pretty large gaps in the Rajasthan scheme of things.

As for Kolkata Knightriders and Kings XI Punjab, I really couldn't give a damn about either
team. Except to say that I do like most of KKR's players, and therefore, strangely, took a great amount of pleasure in witnessing their self-destructive spiralling through the tournament, before staging a mini-renaissance toward the end that turned out to be too little, too late.

Fifthly, the under-19 players in the tournament. Hearing that Mangal, oops, sorry, Manish Pandey had hit the first Indian century of the IPL (who'd've thunk, huh?) made me rack my brains about where I had heard that name before, until it came to me: from the victorious Indian outfit that had won the Under-19 world cup last year! For all that I dislike the team, I gotta appreciate Bangalore's insistence on playing its younger dudes. Virat Kohli, Sreevats Goswami, Manish Pandey... and then there's people like Jaskaran Singh and Ravi Teja for Hyderabad, Ravindra Jadeja, Kamran Khan and others for Rajasthan, and Pradeep Sangwan for Delhi... these are the youngsters who've been backed by their respective teams and been performing more often than not. That's why it distresses me that Chennai don't follow a similar policy - leaving aside whether they can afford to or not - that they sent away their two U-19 players - Abhinav Mukund and Napoleon Einstein - before the tournament had even started. Which is why I'm desperate for the further inclusion of someone like Ashwin and/or Vijay. I'd like more Tamil Nadu players to cheer for, alright, Dhoni?

... Oookay. This ramble has gone on long enough. I'll be going home this weekend - just in time to catch the second semifinal and the final, ha ha - so I expect to be blogging a bit about those two games. Looking forward to an exciting end to a memorable tournament.

Head says Delhi, heart – as always – says Chennai. Lessee.

And somebody please shoot Mandira Bedi. With a tranquiliser gun at least, if not the real thing.

Jedi Mind Tricks

I usually don't muck around much with reading a lot of match previews, which could possibly be the only reason I managed to miss this gem:

"The day before the game, we'll practice, one good hard session, and we're ready for the game," Dhoni said. "Whatever suits the team."
Dhoni took it a step further. "Mentally we are right there. When it comes to the mind it depends on what you're feeding into the mind. The mind doesn't know if it's Napier or what you're feeding. You come and say 'this is Napier', and it believes it's Napier. If you see, it's an abstract. When people say 'he's in form', nobody has seen form. It's a state of mind where you are confident and you think very positively and everything you think about, you think it's very achievable. It's about how you treat the mind. One day here, one day there doesn't really make a difference. Preparation-wise, we are up to the mark."

Give the man a chocolate, he's talking philosophy. A couple dozen. Maybe a tonne. The whole frickin' chocolate factory.

Because, this? This is gold. And I'm not being sarcastic. Honest.

(Although the repeated use of 'abstract' to me indicates a bit of Kirstenisation and Uptonisation to Dhoni's theory.)

I love the way he explains it. It's interesting, and for an armchair geek like me, a welcome departure from the redundant cliches that seem to envelop the game like a shroud. Now that the Test hasn't (isn't) gone (at) all India's way, the whole thing's open to criticism, but one can't deny that it makes some sense. A lot of things are said to be "just in the mind" and Dhoni has always stressed on mental readiness and composure to be able to face the pressures of international cricket to go along with the actual cricket, because if you're good enough to get into the national team, you're pretty freakin good, but developing a frame of mind that's able to deal with a billion plus expectations, the pressures, the attention and the tribulations? That has to be learnt anew.

I'm just wondering if Dhoni ever tried it on himself re his injury. Wonder if he thought he could go out there, and tell his mind, "I'm perfectly fine, my back's feeling great, the sights and sounds of Ranchi are all around me, and oh look! There's my neighbour's son coming in to bowl as usual. Wonder when he dyed his hair blond."

OH that explains it all! Poor thing wasn't able to make the mantra work on the morning of the first day, it would seem.

DHONI'S MIND: I'm perfectly fine, my back...
DHONI'S BODY: Enough.
DHONI'S MIND: ... feeling gr-- Huh?
DHONI'S BODY: Enough.
DHONI'S MIND: Enough what, exactly?
DHONI'S BODY: Are we even connected anymore these days? Wake up, smell the coffee. It's cold, it's windy. That's a six foot blond New Zealander barelling in to get us out, and the back--
DHONI'S MIND: Bother me not with these trifles. I still have to ponder upon the Meaning of Life after this, you know.
DHONI'S BODY: ... suit yourself.
DHONI: ack! *spasm*

Yep, that's definitely what happened.

(Inspired by the decidedly funnier kroki-refur)

Now. Regarding the match itself? Finally a day where India get their butts into it, with Dravid and Gambhir and later Gambhir and Tendulkar digging and sprouting roots and growing leaves. Oh, and they batted a bit in between, too. I think Tendulkar did, anyway.

Four days in and we have not acted like one of the world's best Test sides. If the catching and fielding (Yuvraj + slip = DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT) let the team down after whittling NZ down to 23/3 in the first innings and allowed the Black Caps to post 619 (*gasp!*) on the board, the batting decided to complete the job and got bowled out for 305, after which the NZers ask us to follow on. Yes, quite a bitchslap to the face that must've been for a team that beat the same opposition like flicking a speck of dust out of its eye a week ago and was expected to do the same here. (mild irritation, but nothing at all harmful)

I cannot possibly comment on Sehwag's captaincy, not having seen the match live myself, but sending Ishant in as nightwatchman in the first innings? Not one of his brighter ideas.

Leaving aside Sehwag getting out early (again) the Indians are chugging along okay enough in the follow-on innings, with Gambhir reaching his first overseas Test century off 260-odd balls, at a strike rate in the mid-30s. If you thought that was slow, I took a look at Dravid's strike rate: 28. Yeowch. Still, it's all for the team, right? Incredibly important innings, if and when we go on to draw this.

The NZers have done great, they really have. The batting rode on terrific innings from Ryder and Taylor to post 600+, and the bowlers have been disciplined, tireless and for the first time in a long time, backed up by a truckload of runs from their batsmen.

Tomorrow could be an interesting day. India still trail by 62 runs, 8 wickets in hand, Gambhir and Tendulkar looking comfortable (enough) at the crease, all this points to a draw, but who knows? A collapse, a tiny target-chase, an innings defeat, even?

Also? I kinda whooped and cheered when Dinesh Kaarthick got out for single-figures in the first innings. Does that make me a bad person?

This is TRAGEDY.

Uhm.

No, it's not New Zealand recovering from a delicious 23/3 to post 351/4 at almost 4 an over at the end of the day.

It's not Jesse Ryder scoring another century.

It's not Mr. Twenty20 (although that might be a slightly unfair nickname) Ross Taylor smashing 151 golden runs.

It's not the Indian bowlers and fielders unable to push on after smashing the New Zealand top-order like a coconut at the stone feet of the Supreme Diety for Early Wickets.

No.

It's Dhoni, injured, being unable to play this game.

This is what I call supremely tragic.

What made it all the more painful was how unexpected it was. Nobody outside the team management had any inkling at all that Dhoni had injured his back. Nosir. Not in the slightest.

So, this morning, I woke at 3, right? Annoyed my fellow hostelites, but assured them I was only going to study (which was partly true, anyway) and flipped open my laptop, coffee brewing on the table. At 3:30, I accessed cricinfo, which informed me brightly: "Dhoni out, NZ elect to bat."

WHAT.

I went on to discover that Dhoni was indeed out of the Test match with a bad back (and he even had to have an MRI taken, good lord) and that Sehwag was captaining in his place, and that his wicketkeeping slot was to be usurped, ahem, I mean, taken care of until his return by Dinesh Kaarthick (whom I still dislike, by the way.)

I gazed at the screen numbly, mouth slightly gaping, sipping every now and then from a mug full of the most tasteless coffee I'd ever had, going down like liquid ashes down my throat. Watched the commentary as Zaks and Ishi made a bright start, prying out McIntosh, How and Guptill in quick succession, and yet I couldn't find it in myself to celebrate. One reason was, of course, the shock, and number two, the real New Zealand batting order started only from number 5 (which is quite a clever ploy actually. Have the opposition preening over getting the 'top order' out quickly while the real batsmen make merry).

Jesse Ryder joined Ross Taylor, after which a succession of big black FOURs started coming up on screen, with no sight of an OUT, so I finally snapped out of my daze and shut my laptop down and got back on with my life.

I'm actually rather ashamed that my attachment to one player can throw me off an entire game, but that's the honest truth. I don't feel like I want to follow this match anymore. It's terrible of me, and really, I don't deserve to call myself a cricket fangirl.

Anyhow, great stuff from the NZers - a wonderful comeback after they'd been written off completely by all and sundry. All those over-the-top articles and speculation about how obvious it is that India is going to steamroller X, Y or Z team makes me queasy because it almost always results in something like this. Still, four days to go, you know? Let's see what happens.

Until then: Dhoni, rest up, get better, COME BACK.

Catching up

Before I begin, belated Pongal/Makar Sankranti wishes to everyone!

So I spent my Pongal vacation and then some in a blissfully TV and Internet-free journey deep South, making a round of the Thanjavur temples and reconnecting with my roots (although I did include the fortunes of the Indian team in my prayers... >.> What can I say? You can take the cricket away from the fangirl, but...). I came back, eager and curious to know (among other things) the latest tamasha goings-on in cricket. Luckily, cricinfo and the cricket blogosphere obliged!

And as a tribute to my Anatomy Professor's incessant demands for a "concise presentation with bullet points", I will do so here, sans the long rambling paragraphs! (even if I can't guarantee the absence of Random Capitalisation and the even Randomer Rambling in Parantheses of Doom)

• Mumbai won the Ranji Trophy. Uh, ok. I'm still not entirely sure of my reaction to this one (except, Mumbai again??) but hey, good for them. I could possibly insert some meta about how great this is post 26/11, but that's too pretentious, even for me, and I'm not even a Mumbaikar. Plus, I still haven't got over my disappointment at Tamil Nadu not making the final despite having a great team and being presented the opportunity to do so on a golden platter (and yeah, I still hate you, Dinesh Kaarthick).


• Talking of the Tamil Nadu team, apparently I missed an episode of Coffee with Anu (a local rip-off of Koffee with Karan, which could be a rip-off of some random American show, I don't know) which featured Badrinath, Balaji and Vidyut Sivaramakrishnan! (oh Fate, why must you be so cruel?) Based on second-hand accounts of the show, apparently Kumble watches/used to watch Tamil megaserials, Muralitharan loves Rajnikanth and Matthew Hayden had some pretty entertaining nicknames in the CSK dressing room! So. Much. Joy.


• Oh, and of course, Matthew Hayden's retirement! My first reaction was a giggle and a muttered "about time!" but hey. I never really disliked the guy, and enjoyed watching him bat in full flow. Plus, this means he is available to CSK for the whole of the next IPL season. Which is excellent. \o/


• I also caught up with the whole furore over the ICC ranking of the All-Time Cricketing greats (or you know, whatever). Oh noes! Tendulkar at 26! Akram at 59! Who really cares?! (Except for papers like The New Indian Express to go about with huge headlines saying "10dulkar not in Top Ten" or some other shit like that with a blown up picture of a serious Tendulkar ducking a bouncer or whatever; come on, NIE!) I'm probably going to sound like a hypocrite, but why the insecurity? Anybody with half a brain would place Tendulkar above the likes of Hayden on any all-time list, we know that. (Which, huh, doesn't say much about the "ICC committee" that made up this completely unnecessary list, does it).


• Bangladesh giving Sri Lanka a deserved ass-whupping the ODI tri-series in Bangladesh! Despite everything, however, SL mananged to scrape through a victory in the final, and even that took once-or-twice in a lifetime batting heroics from Muralitharan! I'm loving it. And Shakib-al Hasan? You've found yourself a new fangirl.


• So we're off to play a five match ODI series in SL later this month and extra Test against New Zealand, apparently. Hm, all good, all good! Looking forward to seeing the Boys in Blue back in action. Will be crossing my fingers for a Balaji-selection, though that's not likely to happen. Hopefully Badrinath and Rohit will get opportunities too and capitalise on them.

I guess that's about it (for now), then. Funny that a lot of stuff that I mentioned actually had nothing to do with cricket played on-field. But hey. Business as usual, right?

Oh my god

Chuck all clever titles, this is exactly how I feel : Oh my god.

So I've been having a craptastic first week of the year, so there's not been much time to spare on cricket, but the Moores-Pietersen spat did serve as an amusing aside in the five minutes after dinner for the last few nights.

Until?

Until Moores and Pietersen decided to resign from their respective roles of coach and captain of the English team.

I was immediately motivated into cricinfo-ing the matter.

Moores leaving was seen by many as a foregone conclusion, especially considering how Unshakable Pietersen was just this much away from stamping his feet and throwing a temper tantrum if Peter didn't leave. Plus, Moores doesn't have a great track record as the English coach to back him up, either - some of which could be his fault, too. But for Pietersen, Harbinger of Fresh Hope for the English Team, to resign as well? That's... that's just a sucker punch for the ECB.

Apparently Pietersen resigned because the ECB didn't respond quickly enough to his demands. Uh... sure, KP. Rebel against the strongly-ECB backed coach and expect the board to immediately bend over. That's not whacked out at all. It's funny now to look upon all the flood of articles, opinion and conjecture that came out when Pietersen was appointed captain, following Vaughan's teary resignation. Funny that all of that seems to amount to nothing barely five months later.

What will the ECB do now? No captain, no coach, major leadership crisis, the Ashes barely six months away, and oh, look! Is that a kitchen sink I see flying toward Mr. Clarke and co.'s collective heads?

Whatever the outcome, the matter promises more delicious drama to come. :D

Plus, SA lost to Aussies in Sydney! By 103 runs! I don't know what to make of the result, since I didn't follow the match, but some obvious things stand out: Australia get to hold onto their official ICC no. 1 ranking for a little while longer, South Africa seem lost without Smith, the Saffers suck at playing dead-rubbers, and why the hell was McKenzie leading the team instead of Mark Boucher?

And also, coming to Ranji cricket? It's Mumbai v UP for the final.

Mumbai, going through? Okay. Fine.

Tamil Nadu, losing to UP after scoring 445 in the first innings (after being freakin 296/2 at the end of day 1), having UP 63/3 at one stage, Kaif and Raina in the hut, and allowing two players with first-class averages in the mid-20s to build a 300+ run partnership, dropping several chances along the way?

Unforgivable!

Of course, with Dinesh Kaarthick leading, I was surprised they even made it to the semis. What, DK, huh? Expecting Balaji to pull out another 5 for 7 spell like he did against Bengal from the Alternate Dimensions of Magical Matchwinning Spells? It ain't that easy, ya know. Sheesh, the awesomeness of MukundnVijay, Badrinath, Balaji... all of it is wasted on you. Utterly wasted. Don't even ask why I dislike DK, I just do. Urupudaadhunga. Cha!

What a first week. I hope things get better, personally and on the cricketing front.