To be honest, I wanted to skim this. (Yes, I'm aware I'm being ironic.)

I've been lining up a few articles to take apart on this blog, and you'd think - given my oft-professed hero-worship of one Mahendra Singh Dhoni - that this one on Dhoni's captaincy by Ms Ugra would be on my list. You wouldn't be wrong, but, baaah. I don't know. I skimmed it - Dhoni's methods are instinctual, he should play more safe, Piyush Chawla Yusuf Pathan blah blah blah with some tangential yet cheeky references to his love of video-gaming and adventure sports (good god, woman, cricket captains have had worse hobbies in the past!). Ms Ugra's halfway snarky style also is not terribly becoming for the kind of sports writer she's supposed to be - I kind of want to keep saying, "A ha! Your grudge is showing, Ms. Ugra!" or "I C WHUT U DID THAR." as I read her stuff.

To me, it's just another example of the outpouring of the doubts that're emerging at this point in India's World Cup campaign. Oooh, Dhoni's haphazard approach to his team's composition has led to our ruin! Our ruin, I say! It's annoying, but par for the course. I trust my team. Even tomorrow, they can put up a crushing performance and these people will be falling over their feet in their rush for the thesauri to pen all the hyperbolic praises they can cook up. In the seven short years that I've been following cricket seriously, I've seen and heard enough to be pretty damn jaded.

HOWEVER.

I'm bored, and it's been a long time since I've really vented, so! I'm forcing myself to have a more in-depth look at Ms Ugra's article. *deep breath* Nothing for it. HEEERE we go. *pinches nose, takes the plunge*

The article is titled, "Is there madness in Dhoni's method?" Y'know, if you wanted to play on that expression, I'd've preferred a "to" instead of "in", but whatever. Nit-picking.

She starts off talking about a World Cup advert. Um, okay? There're about 43.8 billion of them on TV right now, but turns out she's talking about the one that goes, "The team doesn't win just like that, you've got to make it win." She then says:

Should Dhoni turn his attention away from his favourite off-field pastime of video-gaming and watch the advert, it might sound like an instruction directed at him as well.

Ahahahahaha. I must confess I haven't seen that ad, either, and my favourite past-time is watching cricket. But, hey. Whatever. It does sound like something the ad-people'll cook up this time of the year, so I concede that point. Also, not sure what to make of the reference to his love for video-gaming, or the fact that she makes some random ad sound like a freakin political documentary, but "instruction directed to him as well"? I'm not... sure what she means. Should Dhoni start inserting control chips into his players' minds so that he can make them play exactly according to his plans? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Dhoni does fantasise about doing exactly that, given how much of a control freak he is.

She then talks about how his captaincy has been a smooth ride so far, relatively wrinkle-free. Well. Nothing succeeds like success, and all that jazz. But now, she says, NOW:

Now, suddenly, over the course of a few weeks of the World Cup, creases are beginning to show both in the Indian team and its captain. India's World Cup is still alive, but already gloomy calculations are being made as to how their place in the quarter-finals is actually not secure. For the first time since his oxygen-depleting ascent, neither is Dhoni's as captain. On Sunday against West Indies in Chennai, he will be watched closer than he has been in a long time.

I kind of want to dig up articles from the '09 controversy over the T20 WC. Y'know, the bits about the so-called Dhoni-Sehwag spat? That epic, infamous press-conference? Then the tournament itself, where his every decision of his was criticised roundly (including, I think, by Ms Ugra herself)? Or, going even further back, his decision to skip the Tests during the '08 Sri Lanka tour? Hell, even Kumble has publically disapproved of that decision, going on record saying that he believed India'd've won that series had Dhoni played. What about the '10 T20 WC tournament? What about the '09 Champions Trophy? What about his decision to play Ashwin instead of Bollinger in the Super Over in the '10 Champions League - another decision not a lot of people were happy with? What about his SOOPER-SEKRIT marriage? What about the time where he was alleged to have threatened to resign if the selectors didn't include RP Singh in the squad?

That stuff is just off the top of my head. I understand that his campaign has been much smoother compared to say, Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid, Azharuddin - hell, any Indian captain, but looking at normal captaincy standards? That's pretty stressful. This is NOT the first time he and his methods have been criticised and doubted from all quarters, and it definitely will not be the last.

Then:

As startling as Dhoni's message may have been to his batsmen who played "for the crowd" on Saturday, it has not surprised them. Nor has it sent them, the India faithful will be relieved to hear, into despair or doubt. It is what Dhoni's modus operandi has always been: to speak directly, briefly and non-confrontationally to players; let them know what he believes needs to be done. In media briefings he does most of the same, but can frequently be snippy. Always, though, he will laboriously explain why he changed the batting or bowling order, chose to bat or chase, and then offer philosophical observations about hybrid fuel and life jackets.

Sweet mother of God.

I was a little surprised at the "play for the country, not the crowd" quote, too - ready with lame-ass snark about "what, people in the crowd are not part of the country, now?" but I do get what he means. The lower order seems too ready to give in to the lures of showmanship - particularly when the top order has been successful - instead of putting their head down and acknowledging when the going has gotten tough. It calls for a level of maturity that is admittedly tough to attain, especially since everybody starts complaining and whining loudly about it. Dhoni wants his batsmen to show that maturity. It makes sense.

"he has been frequently snippy"... ladies and gentlemen, I do believe we have out first "your grudge is showing!" moment. From what I've seen of Dhoni's press conferences (which, admittedly, is not much), he makes it a point to answer everything with a smile, even if he isn't forthcoming about everything. He has a cheeky way of avoiding stuff he doesn't/can't answer, and I have almost never seen him snap at any journalist/interviewer, no matter what the provocation. He doesn't drown himself in long-winded, pseudo-polite cliches, like, say, Rahul Dravid; neither does he go the "look at me! Aren't I measured and INTELLIGENT?" route of Kumara Sangakkara. If anything, he can be disarmingly to-the-point. And, as we know, reporters need vague fodder to misinterpret.

Oooh, and look, snark. I agree that Dhoni's philosophy can be bafflingly amusing sometimes, but they're harmless. And sometimes show a hell of a lot of insight. Plus, he's amazingly quotable, which I absolutely love about him.

Then she talks about some of his decisions in the World Cup so far: the ones that've provoked the most debate. The insistence on playing Piyush Chawla, for one. Yeah, yeah, I've criticised that decision roundly right from the beginning, but Dhoni has his reasons, as baffling and stupid as they are. I agree. The PC-over-Ashwin thing is a total brain-fade on the captain's part, not to mention Kirsten and the rest of the team management.

She also mentions a couple of decisions in the Nagpur match against the Saffers: the whole promoting Yusuf Pathan thing, and also choosing Nehra to bowl the final over. 'Kay. I dislike YP tremendously, but that's beside the point - he's in the team as a pinch-hitter. Period. Dhoni doesn't even ask him to bowl much; hell, Yuvraj Singh is ranked higher as a bowler, and gets mnany more overs. So, with 8-9 overs to go, several wickets in hand, Batting PP in progress, run-rate comfortably over 6.5, a guy who's been known to hit sixes at will, a guy who's had a lot of success recently against this very opposition - YOU DO THE MATH.

About Nehra bowling the final over - I remember going, "oh no. OH NO. Baaaad decision. BAAAD DECISION" at the TV while watching Dhoni hand the ball over to Nehra. Just a few minutes prior, I'd been willing to bet anything that Bhajji'd bowl the final over. Why?

1. He was smack-dab in the middle of a great spell
2. He was bowling three-four-run overs to batsmen in the slog overs even when his colleagues were getting hammered at the other end
3. It was Nehra's first match after an injury layoff.
4. Nehra had looked nowhere close to his best at any point in the match
5. NEHRA WAS NOT EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPELL. I swear to God! Zaheer finished his 10 over quota with the 49th over, bowling in tandem with Harbhajan. Bhajji had one more left in his kitty. Logic says "Harbhajan, you goddamn idiots!", but Dhoni had other ideas.

I get it, Nehra's experience in these kinds of last-over humdingers factored in Dhoni's reasoning. But what the hell, man? Don't play safe! If you'd taken a chance and gone for the spinner in the last over against a couple of bloodthirsty and desperate batsmen, there's a good chance we might've had a different result now!

I'll be expanding on this point after the next quote.

Until now Dhoni's has been captaincy by instinct over method, his own school of reasoning, and like with most captains once they gain greater control of their team, a healthy dose of obstinacy. In the last four years of his captaincy in the short game, if Dhoni had to be asked what was India's best ODI performance under his leadership, he would be choosing between the early CB Series win of 2008, an Asia Cup victory, or bilateral series wins in New Zealand and West Indies. Not such a tough choice, is it?

This "instinct-over-method" thing is a myth that irritates me every time I see/hear/read it. How is it so goddamn "instinctual" when you just said that he explains each and every decision in meticulous detail? Seriously, people! If anything, I believe that Dhoni reasons out his decisions way, way too much. He comes out to play with detailed plans in his head, and if it looks like it's not working, he builds - and executes - more plans. Not for him the "aah, whatever. Let's see what happens if I push this button." He's likely worked out every possibility, including contingency plans for if the button turns out to be a trigger for a nuclear-device. Sometimes, he just needs to say "whatever" to that brain of his and go with his gut.

"Obstinacy" - only recently? Dude, he's been a control-freak right from the beginning, and he's deeply possessive about his team - which can be a good thing and a bad thing. What about the time he insisted that seniors like Dravid and Ganguly should be dropped from the team to blood more youngsters? He was barely six months into his captaincy!

I have very, very fond memories of the CB series win - I rank it above the '07 T20 win, above the Asia Cup, above every damn thing India's won so far - hell, the crowning moment from that series is my banner for this blog. But that line's unfair to India's progress as a team over the last four years. We've won every bilateral series except the last, reached more finals than I can count, and are you forgetting the series win against SL in '08. Given the circumstances under which that came, I rank it much, much higher than our '10 Asia Cup win.

Besides, what was the point of that sentence, Ms Ugra? Dhoni's arrogance and obstinacy is somehow preventing India from winning tournaments? Their winning patterns haven't changed a bit over the last four years.

Now Dhoni's decisions, made using both reason and instinct, are backfiring often because their basic premises may be incorrect. Why should the cotton-woolling of Chawla not be interpreted as cricket's version of babysitting? [...] Or how about No. 4 being Virat Kohli's sacrosanct spot, before or after which he should ideally not be sent? Kohli is 22. Should he not be running loose wherever and whenever he is sent? Yuvraj Singh has spent all but 41 matches of his ODI career flitting between Nos. 4, 5 and 6, Rahul Dravid has kept wicket in ODIs, Sourav Ganguly broke one of the most successful ODI partnerships for India to go down to No. 3, Virender Sehwag went from being a middle-order batsman to an opener who has redefined the Test-match art itself.

Chawla is being babysat, and it sucks. I don't disagree. But it looks like that's ended, and Ashwin's comin' back, which, yay. \o/

The rest of the paragraph is giving me a headache. What IS that sentence about Virat Kohli? I don't know if my reading comprehension has broken down, or if it really makes little to no sense. Is she saying the team ought to be more flexible? Is that it? From the obligatory comments on Dravid and Ganguly, that's kind of what I can deduce. Whatever.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, MS. UGRA. One of the main complaints regarding Kohli was that he wasn't being sent in at number four often enough! He's not a pinch-hitter, he's not the kind of batsman that Yuvraj and Dhoni are - he's the type of fussy top-order player who needs to be assured of an early enough spot in the batting order where he can settle in and work his mojo. Have you seen him at 3 and 4 over the last year? No. 4 is the only option available to him, given Sehwag, Sachin and Gambhir practically walk into nos 1, 2 and 3! I mean, weren't you just complaining about YP being pushed up and down? Or Dhoni employing himself as a floater? Dhoni has said about a billion times that he wants this order to be as flexible as possible, to match with the game-situation.

Then - OH GOD WHAT IS THIS.

To move Yusuf Pathan up the order in a match against one of the best attacks in the World Cup on a wicket that was stopping was again based on a formula that the openers had given the platform and the pace of the innings needed to be amped up. [...] Against Ireland, Pathan (30 off 24 balls, two fours three sixes) was pitch perfect. Against Dale Steyn in the Powerplay, he should have been the last option. Like all captains Dhoni also has his players of choice who are given more licence, and his team recognises instinctively who those players are. Unfortunately for Dhoni his captaincy has not coincided with the discovery of new match-winners, like those found under Sourav Ganguly, for example.

I don't know, I guess the batting order was bein' flexible when they decided to push YP up the order? Aaaalso, let me remind you of YP's recent history: against the very same opposition, the very same 'he's-so-goddamn-unplayable' Dale Steyn, in said opposition's home ground, he has played match-winning innings! Even when the rest of 'em: Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Dhoni, what-have-you, had failed. How quick we are to forget. It was worth a shot, at any rate.

Also, the nonsense with "players of choice"... "given more licence." Suuure. Dhoni plays favourites every now and then. What a shock. Hold me, I think I'm going to faint.

Another underhanded comparison with Sourav Ganguly aside, Dhoni hasn't found matchwinners? Seriously? He's not nurtured the progress of Gautam Gambhir? He's not propped up Yuvraj Singh, unleashed the bowler within him? Virat Kohli? What the hell are you going on about? It's a great disservice to these players to say that they haven't been giving match-winning performances over the last few years, and to think that the budding players under Dhoni's captaincy can't blossom into match-winners later.

No, really. Think about it. You call Dhoni a Ganguly-discovery. But apart from the 148 against Pak, he only started to come into his own under Dravid, and only under his own captaincy did he grow into his potential! Yuvraj? Was going nowhere, until Dhoni gave him a bit of rope. Ditto to Harbhajan. And Irfan Pathan? Yeeeah, right. Who else? Ashish Nehra? Has just come from the wilderness. Zaheer Khan? Terribly erratic before he finally decided to get his butt over to England and play a couple of seasons of county cricket. Mohammad Kaif? I laugh at you.

When a captain's instinct starts to head off in a direction where things do not go the way he wants, they sometimes overwhelm and undermine reason.

She provides the example of Harbhajan not being allowed to bowl immediately at Duminy, despite Duminy's weakness against the former. That's not a failure of instinct; that's Dhoni being too rigid, like I've said before.

THEN she discusses the Harbhajan v Nehra decision for the last over in Nagpur:

The decision between Nehra and Harbhajan Singh became a 50-50 toss-up, with the spinner offering to bowl the 49th so that the team's most nerveless bowler, Zaheer Khan, could send down the 50th. If the 49th goes well - like it did for the Indians against South Africa in Nagpur, where Zaheer conceded four - the man bowling the 50th at least has a buffer. So far it had gone to Dhoni's plan. Nehra was the moment Dhoni gambled, because he has been India's best ODI bowler over the last year, the go-to man at the death.

[...]

Nehra has bowled the final over for India four times in his career, the two now forgotten instances being Karachi, the first ODI of the electric 2004 India-Pakistan series and against West Indies in a 2005 tri-series in Colombo, which took India to the final. Nagpur was the first time India lost. Before the World Cup he had taken 73 wickets since his comeback into the Indian team in June 2009. Why should Dhoni not have gone to him? Other than the fact that he may not have been warmed up not having bowled for 12 overs. It was a logical gamble that didn't work. Pathan and Chawla are the illogical gambles - they were perhaps doomed to tank.

(I can never forget that Karachi match, btw. Fond, fond memories. That Kaif catch to dismiss Abdul Razzaq, the way he smashed into Hemang Badani, practically tripped over his face but still managed to hold on to the ball? EPIC.)

I'm glad you have given it the Seal of Logical Approval, but this works against your argument that YP should not have been promoted. Wasn't Dhoni going by history there too? How are the two decisions different? Shouldn't Dhoni have been a little more reckless and thought about giving Harbhajan the final over?

We finally come to the end of the article:

As much as Dhoni wants his batsmen to "curb their instincts", it is the best time for his leadership to internalise the same message. Since his debut for India in 2004, he has changed his batting to eliminate risk, yet he will not bat higher up the order as Ganguly repeatedly beseeches him to do in both commentary and column. He has a better average and 100-plus strike rate batting at either No. 3 or 4, but has done so in only 32 of 162 innings. His keeping has vastly improved from the 2007 version, and he still remains one of India's better runners between wickets. The match versus West Indies may have to mark the moment that his leadership evolves in a different direction. Or it could take a route he would rather not contemplate.

Um. Y'know, I want to see Dhoni up the order, too. I really do. Who will he have to displace, then? Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, even Kohli - outta the question. Yuvraj? I don't know, he does play you-go-first-I-go-first a lot with Yuvraj, mostly when he wants a right-left combo in the middle. Thing is, it's a much tougher decision than it looks on the outside. He's fashioning himself as a finisher - the guy with the levellest head in the team, the guy who can come in, take stock of things and play according to it. To whom else can he entrust this role? YP? I don't think so.

Yeah, the match against the Windies is going to be pretty important. Probably not for the same reasons that a lot of people think, but yeah. Whatcha gonna do, Mahi? Throw caution to the winds for once?

(Hint: PLAY ASHWIN!)

The art of 'protecting' a tailender

You know how it goes.

The match is at a crucial stage - you're 7, maybe 8 wickets down with a few sessions still lift to play - more likely to save the match than win it, but you're willing to count a draw as a victory. So you're the Settled Specialist Dude (SSD) over there, and the guy who comes out to partner you is notoriously unreliable.

What do you do?

I've seen a lot of batsmen consistently refuse singles in the first few balls of the over, while the opposition captain spreads out the field, saying, come on dude, single ready when you want it. Around the fourth ball the batsman begins to get testy. Can the Notoriously Unreliable Dude (NUD) survive two balls? Is it okay for me to take a single here? The field begins to come in again, and the SSD is pushed into a corner. Fifth ball, SSD's all, shall I go for it now? No no, no need to take a risk now, there's still one ball left. And when the sixth ball is coming 'round, he's sweating bullets. The NUD is grinning at the other end, already dreaming of ensuing batting heroics, and the SSD sees the grin and is doubly nervous. The opposition closes in like a shark with blood in the water, and so the bowler barrels in with the last delivery of the over...

I've seen this more often than not with the Indian team. The one NUD that I remember actually lives up to his name is Zaheer Khan. For instance, in the current match against SA, Dhoni's at one end, and facing Morkel. He plays off four balls and takes a single off the fifth. Just one ball, right? Turns out he forgot one of the fundamental truths of cricket: you might spend several deliveries planning and scheming through your innings, but it takes only one to make them all useless. One ball, and Zaheer was out.

Ishant came in, and Dhoni sighed, screw this and took a single off the second ball to let Ishant face the rest of the over. And he survived.

The NUD/SSD dynamic rarely works for this team. I remember a couple of successes, namely: Dhoni and Sreesanth at Lord's working with the weather to save a match we really ought to have lost, and Laxman and Ishant at Mohali pulling off a Totally Awesome Win out of nowhere.

Huh.

As I type, Dhoni gets out after a fighting 35. India 205/9, likely to be 205 all out soon enough as two NUDs conference before one of them takes strike.

Dale Steyn barrels in...

EDIT OF SUPREME AWESOMENESS: Zaheer and Harbhajan have gotten hold of some serious mojo: SA are 104/8 now, and completely on the mat. Somebody pinch me, please.

EDIT OF WTFery: So we dismissed them for 131, and promptly slump to 48/3 after being 42/0. Two wickets to Lonwabo Tsotosobe. All right, people. What the hell? At this rate, Dhoni might find himself ending the day at the crease, just as he started the day.

EDIT OF WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-GOING-ON-HERE: Wicket no. 18 of day 2 falls as Sachin is snapped up by Steyn. 56/4. I think SA and India are trying to go one-up on each other in pure batting ineptitude. Screw the swing, pace, bounce, all that bull shit - we are better than this! Lead is just one hundred and thirty runs and if we don't get some spine soon all of Bhajj's and Zak's efforts will have come to naught!

Hooooly shit.

The cynical Indian fan sits smug (once again, at last)

Formalities, formalities.

Okay, cricket's back, it's great, the general euphoria and gratefulness faded after the first couple of minutes, and it was all back to normal again (for me at least): letting your emotions ride with the ebb and flow of the game (a lot more fun in Test cricket, admittedly), pumping the air in delight with every minor triumph and cursing a blue streak at the TV with every minor failure (what, they never taught you how to field in all of those kazillion cricket academies and camps you went to, you *&#^*^**?)

Yeah, so day 1 was pretty awesome for us, aside from the whole England piling on a 100+ opening stand thing, with Strauss scoring an admittedly classy century. 229/5 in 90 overs makes for dubious reading, particularly on a batsman's paradise like Chennai is supposed to be. It made for alarming reading (for the English obviously) on the morning of day 2 - as Freddie left, making it 229/6. Mm, delicious.

But Matt Prior (there can be no words for how much I dislike this man. None.) and the lower order ensured England finished with 316 on board, and surely after being 160-odd for 2 at one stage, it was a disappointing total to land up with - to say the least. The "odd ball was doing the odd thing" (I swear to God, cricket and its inane cliches) but Chepauk still looked a good batting wicket, and the last time India had batted there, they'd scored more than 600 runs, and Sehwag had hit 319 of them in an innings that has me smile and jump even now. Aside from the major blot of the woefully out-of-form Rahul Dravid, the rest of the lineup was coming in riding some excellent form, and with a lot to prove.

England could not be underestimated, Freddie, Harmison, Swann, blah, blah, blah, but India still held all of the cards at that moment. I skipped my lunch break to catch the live commentary, just in time to be told that England had been dismissed, and Viru and Gauti were striding out to the crease. I remember smiling and daring to speculate on the possibilities of 100 run leads and its consequences.

Hah!

Before you know it, India were 37/3. What in the world, you may ask. You are justified in asking so, and I would say that VirunGauti finally reached that innings, where they simply had to fail, to even out the mojo that had them churning out successful start after successful start for so many games. But the middle order got the memo, right? They could pick things up, right? Things were still under control, right?

Wrong.

Dravid got out for 3. Rahul, please go. That's enough. I'm asking politely here.

Debutant spinner-boy Graeme Swann got both Gauti and Rahul in his first over in international cricket, and all I could say was guys, seriously. First Mendis, then Krejza, now Swann? I want the Indian batsmen to write an imposition: 100 times, "I am NOT the best player of spin in the world. I will NOT underestimate another debutant spinner, part-time spinner, or any player with even a rudimentary capacity to wrap his fingers around the cricket ball and spin it." and stick it to their lockers so that they can have a good, long look at it everyday.

Long, I know. Will be extra painful. How else will they learn.

Tendulkar and Laxman stitched things together for a while with a half-century partnership, before (for god's sake) Panesar struck, getting Laxman caught off his own bowling. (I know, Monty took a catch. No wonder it's not raining) The very next over, Flintoff gets Tendulkar. I was talking over the phone to my mother at that time, an eye on the live commentary, and for a few moments I broke off whatever I was saying, gaping at the laptop screen saying 102/5 (just like that, just like that), mouth opening and closing like some landed fish. I think some vague keening, disbelieving groan must've made its way out of my mouth at that time, 'cos my mother was suddenly asking if I'd hurt myself - why the hell was I sounding like that.

Oh, ma.

Disbelief soon gave out to anger, and I kept cursing as Dhoni made his way out way, way sooner than he had expected to. Yuvraj was present at the other end, and suddenly the sight of "Current partnership: Yuvraj, Dhoni" seemed comforting. How many times had these two worked magic in combination in ODIs before? If there were ever two blokes to really get the team back on track, it was these two. Yuvraj had already hit a boundary within minutes of his coming to the crease, so I allowed myself to be partially comforted. Plus, this was Yuvraj's Big Chance to mark out a Permanent Position in the Indian Test team. Make sure Ganguly wasn't missed much.

But damn, did we miss Dada or what!

Yuvi and Dhoni chugged along for sometime, but Flintoff was bowling one of his inspired spells again. He attempted to work over both Dhoni and Yuvraj, and finally succeeded with the southpaw, having Yuvi nick one to second slip off Harmison, and the score stood at a precarious (I like understatements, 'kay?) 137/6.

Enter Bhajji, who hits a flurry of fours. Score at stumps on day 2 is 155/6, India 161 runs behind. Dhoni (24*) and Bhajji (13*) at the crease.

Not a great position to be in, yeah? In fact, a position so far from great, they'd need satellite phones to communicate, but you know, India always tended to overkill.

Ahem.

You know, I'd always thought of myself as one of those delightful "cynical Indian cricket fans" (better than the cocky ones anyday, trust me), and the series of successful games we'd been having recently bred that bit of paranoia in me, that little voice that told me that we were riding the crest of a wave that was going to crash soon. What happens when VirunGauti fail? What happens when Zaks and Ishu can't work their reverse-swing mojo? When Mishra's wrong 'uns stop surprising batsmen? When Dhoni's instincts backfire? A fielding change gone awry, an unnecessary shuffle of the attack? Won't India lose, and lose badly? Or was this team made of sterner stuff?

All these days, the cynics hadn't got much evidence to show on their plate - until now. See? they say, acid dripping down their lips, dribbling on their chins. A proper 5 man bowling attack and we flounder. Surely the Australian win was more a case of Australia losing than India winning? The team's in transition, the team is out of practice, the players' minds are cluttered, India cannot possibly stake a claim to no. 1 spot at this rate, Indian cricket is going nowhere and the bloody apocalypse is upon us.

Yep, they're sitting smug, all right.

I'm not a cynic, however, how much ever I'd like to think otherwise. I'm just as much of a hopeless optimist, deep inside. Dhoni is still there, an in-form Bhajji is still there, there's been a night to put the day behind them and start afresh tomorrow, and build and build and build and still somehow win the match. Dhoni ain't gonna give up, not with his team. If there is a chance to win, they're going to go for it. Again a test for his leadership. Plus he's the "mama". Chennai's new adopted son. Don't let us down, now, MS, or I'll be going "Enga Area ulla varadhey" (I'm being churlish, yeah, suck it up)

Let's see what happens, though. It's been an interesting Test match, and KP had the first day in the entire tour where he could look back upon the day's cricket and smile in satisfaction - and anticipation. We're gonna get a result, surely, and that's great.

Hang in there, MS, and Bhaj!!

(Plus, what is this I hear about Dhoni and dinner dates and Lakshmi Rai? Mahi, you surely deserve better! *dissolves into uncontrollable sobs*)

Seriously, Ricky?

What is it with Australian cricketers these days?

Is this a sudden need for publicity, is this a way to satiate their burning frustration at getting trampled by India, has this been happening all the time before and I just didn't notice, or is it that the Australian cricketers have finally cracked, or what.

'Cos I? Just can't understand the sudden flurry of books and quote-hangers coming from Down Under.

First it was Gilchrist, then it was Roy, then it was Hayden with one of his gems, and now Ricky Ponting with a surely 'insightful' Captain's Diary 2008.

Or maybe it's just a rush to vindicate their stand in the whole Sydney Jan '08 affair.

To show that the Australians were only missing the halos around their heads, and the Indians their pitchforks and horns.

How else can you explain this and this?

Seriously, Ricky?

There's so much vitriol flying around in thin, corroding innocent guises, and it's just sick.

Maybe it's like Harbhajan put it (fantastically, I might add): The Australians were so busy poring over what new sensational secret they could reveal in their 23464th 'book' that they forgot to prepare for the series.

Huh.

And Ricky? Next time you talk about MS and co. being suited only for Twenty20, check this out:

Twenty20: ICC Twenty20 World Cup
ODI: CB Series 2008
Tests: Border-Gavaskar Trophy 2008

My my, that's three on three!

There's so much more I could say, but people both in and out of the blogosphere with better, more delicious methods of expression have said it all.

All I can add is, wow. The Australians? Inscrutable in victory and defeat.

Day 1: Take a bow, Ricky Ponting!

Scorecard and commentary

Australia 254/4 at the end of day 1, Hayden 0, Katich 66, Ponting 123, Hussey 46*, Clarke 11, Watson 0*; Z Khan 2 for 39, I Sharma 1 for 49, H Singh 1 for 71.

After all the waiting and the hype, yeah, we got a full day of cricket. It was a day that mostly belonged to the Aussies - particularly Ricky Ponting - and they're now nicely placed for a big score, provided India's seamers - who're bowling wonderfully with the new ball - don't disrupt their plans with a few quick wickets tomorrow. Interestingly poised.

It was a day that had a weird up and down quality to it, plenty of seriously dramatic flares interspersed with some pretty monotonous cricket. I watched as much as I could, but you really had to look out for the drama. The moments just come out of the blue, and keeps your mind occupied until the next one comes and hits you upside the head. Classic stuff. This Border-Gavaskar tussle has created so much hype, and the matches so often live up to it and so often impossibly transcend the hype, that this is looked upon as an Ashes without the century-old history and the lack of competition. Because, competition? Intense.

The first over of the day - Zaheer Khan charging in and swinging the ball and generally bowling well, Hayden a little circumspect. Third ball of the day, he has a go at a Zaheer delivery outside off - or so it seems. The ball appears close to the edge, the edge appears close to the pad, and it's all generally confusing, but Dhoni collects centimetres from the ground and goes up in appeal along with the bowler and the slip cordon. Asad Rauf thinks about it for some time, decides Hayden did nick it, and lifts the dreaded finger. Out! Australia, 0 for 1! Hayden, Aus's Superman in India, out for a third-ball duck! Couldn't have asked for a more exhilarating first over for the series.

Ishant and Zaheer Khan bowled brilliantly in the first one hour, and troubled both Ponting and Katich (the other opener), both of whom survived several close lbw calls. After that, though, the two settled in, particularly with the advent of the spinners (whom Ponting played very well, so much for the much-anticipated Bhajji vs Ponting battle). The going was still slow, though - the run-rate almost never crossed 3 runs an over. Track was a little low, but appeared great for batting, as after the morning start that assisted the seamers, the bowlers hardly ever appeared threatening.

Australia reached Lunch at 75 for 1 - the rebuilding process well underway. It continued in the second session. The outfielding continued to be hopeless, and Katich and Ponting ran athletically and intelligently between the wickets. They turned on the juice a little this time - while the first session the run-rate was just a little over two, the run-rate here actually touched three. Both Ponting and Katich reached their half-centuries and seemed to be batting almost effortlessly. Zaheer and Ishant bowled well without getting the breakthroughs and Kumble and Harbhajan seemed singularly ineffective. Before Tea though, after a mammoth 166 run partnership, Ishant bagged Katich, caught behind by Dhoni. Ponting was joined by Mike Hussey, and as the teams went to Tea, Ponting had 94 next to his name and looking good for a ton.

After Tea, Ponting did get his century, and what a moment it was ! Hats off to you, mate. I'm not particularly fond of Ponting, but even I had to stand up and applaud. After all the bull-crap that's been talked about before this series about Ponting's dismal average in India, his struggles against spin and in particular Harbhajan, and the fact that his highest score here was 60, and all that he's had to endure, the pressure, the criticism and such-like, him grabbing the first opportunity he got and making the best use of it and proving a point to his critics was a great spectacle.

There was more drama to come when Kumble was bowling. Hussey was looking decidedly shifty at the crease as Kumble went through an inspired spell, and at one stage, with the scoreboard reading 201 for 2, Ponting played one back to the bowler that looked mighty close to being caught and bowled. Kumble appealed raucously accompanied by Dhoni and the close-in fielders to a lesser extent, but Koertzen was unmoved. Slow-mo replays showed that Ponting had indeed scooped back one to the bowler, and Ricky? Was lucky. And Rudi? Was given the Kumble Glare of Doom. An over or two after that, Anil appealed for a close lbw against Ricky, and was turned down by Koertzen again. But seriously, that appeal? Kumble looked so angry and desperate and almost ready to burst into tears, and Koertzen, annoyed by the over-the-top vociferousness (that is totally a word!) of the appeal, frowned and placed his hands on his hips, and I didn't know whether to laugh or to groan or to just magically teleport to Bangalore and give Kumble a hug as he turned away in despair and disgust.

Virender Sehwag bowled beautifully, late as he was brought into the attack, and got the elusive Turn and Bounce. Harbhajan who had rarely troubled Ponting through the day, finally confirmed to us that he still had Ricky's number - he had merely misplaced it till then - by bagging his wicket lbw when Ponting was on 123. Still, Bhajji, would've appreciated it if it had come, say, 100 runs earlier, yeah? Hussey and Clarke continued to plod on, though, but Zaheer Khan, in the last over the day, seemed determined to end it on the terms with which he had begun: he trapped Michael Clarke in front of the stumps with an absolute peach of a delivery. It was a dramatic end to the day, and took away a bit of sheen of the Australian innings, leaving the match better balanced.

... Okay, so general assessment? The Indian seamers bowled well today, but the spinners were mostly ineffective, the outfielding in general was not great, the field placements at times allowed too many easy singles... yet, the Aussies finished the day with an overall run-rate of much less than three, which surprised me. I mean, the cautious stuff in the morning was understandable, having received a setback so early. But why the diffidence throughout? Weren't the Aussies the ones to have made going at 3.5-4 an over in Tests the norm? Why couldn't they have pressed the accelerator at a time when they had India on the mat? In being so defensive, they allowed India to peg back a few before too much damage had been done to the host's chances in the game. Amazingly, despite Ponting's century and his big partnerships with Katich and Hussey, India go into day 2 with the slightest of advantages. Only 254 runs have been piled on, the inexperienced middle and lower-middle order has been exposed (Watson, judging by his IPL performance might be depended upon, but he's got precious little match-practice recently and Tests are a different ball game from Twenty20; Haddin the Batsman I'm not so sure about, but he did play well in the ODI series in India last year, but then again, he has proven problems against spin; White is an unknown commodity, he'll be hoping to pull off a Clarke; the lower order of Lee, Johnson and Clark looks strong; despite all of this, Aussies are so gonna miss Symmo and Gilly) and the second new ball is only 2 overs old. Come morning, and you can expect Ishant and Zaheer to be very dangerous, especially against a tentative seeming Hussey, and a brand-new-at-the-crease Watson.

I'm a little concerned about Kumble. I haven't the authority to judge his captaincy, but I just wonder. Does it really suit him? As in, on the field? He gets so angry and frowny everytime he bowls and he, IMO, just kinda sends out a bad vibe. Also, his Glares of Doom (that make even me squirm, even though I'm watching on TV hundreds of kilometres away) everytime somebody makes a mifield or fumbles a chance is something I don't like. You aren't that great a fielder yourself, you know, Anil.

Aanyway, so things are positioned for a cracker tomorrow. Early wickets are KEY, 'cause anything above 350, and the Indian Middle Order, already under so much pressure, would have to face much more. Let's see what happens, though.

... Oh, and there was a shot between overs that showed Dhoni thoughtfully chewing at his glove's webbing. Adorable! And can I just say that he looks incredibly cute in Test whites? With his uber-cool shades and sweaty and tousled hair and the nonchalant way in which he collected and passed the ball to slips? I'm SO fangirling him now.

... You know, because there just wasn't enough fangirling in this post.