Friday, December 11, 2009

India Darcy'd

Perhaps the contrasting performances of the two captains playing at number three best described the proceedings in the Twenty20 played between India and Sri Lanka on Thursday.

Sangakkara, suave, authoritative and just as articulate with the bat as he is with the English language, blasted 60-odd off 20-odd, while Dhoni left with a failed attempt at (once again) transcribing his ODI game into his Twenty20 one.

While not as big an Austen fan as some of my contemporaries, I've been very fond of Leela's "brown Mr. Darcy" assessment of Kumara Sangakkara.

India's problems probably started before the match itself.

For one, it's bowling "attack". Nehra, Dinda, Ishant Sharma. Yusuf Pathan.

... What?

Ishant Sharma has been dropped from the ODI and Test teams. So why was he in the Twenty20 team? Has he confidence or recent good performances in the shorter versions of the game on his side? Was he successful in the IPL? Hell, was he even part of a successful team in the IPL?

And what was with Zaheer Khan being treated like a giant pista and rested for the Twenty20s?

The less said about the fielding, the better.

The last time India -- the same India that's ostensibly deriding the highest echelons of the game, ruthlessly promoting Twenty20 to the point of blatant exploitation -- won a Twenty20 international convincingly was October 2007.

India falling prey to a lack of seriousness in Twenty20 that used to characterise its opponents in the past?

I don't know, but then again, I don't know how else to explain the selection of the likes of Ishant, Dinda, Yusuf Pathan, Rohit Sharma.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Who's awesome?

Why, Badri, of course.

And Vijay... is the captain? Tamil Nadu obviously now follows the last-person-to-have-played-for-the-national-team captaincy policy.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Floundering in hyperbole

... not to mention crashing through stacks of meaningless rhetoric, tangling up in a bunch of sticky metaphors, eventually to fall into a roiling adjective soup, breathless descriptions cloying on my skin and rolling onto my laptop in great lumps... pretty much the kind of situation I find myself in when Virender Sehwag decides to play yet another of those innings.

It is usually prudent to give oneself sometime to regain lost breath, lest one starts giving into that sticky tangle of hilarious exaggeration (the Neandrathal comparsion's my favourite. Somewhere, Charles Darwin is rolling over in his grave... again). There's something about watching Viru Sehwag (and I don't think it an exaggeration when I say that it was indeed a Divine Intervention that the only full day of Test cricket I managed to catch all year was day 2 of the Mumbai Test) play that provokes intense emotion out of you. He nonchalantly spanks all and sundry on his way to 100, 200, 300... and you think, here's an epiphany. Even with the commentators regurgigating their usual staple of "No footwork, it's all exquisite hand-eye co-ordination" you think, you are obligated to say something about this. Because Sehwag sure ain't. It is brilliant, it is brutal, it's a million Thesauri meshed together into a savage beast of Biblical proportions as you search for -- and fail at finding -- words to fit in everything you wanted to say about Sehwag's innings. You are only more intent on celebrating this "simple, yet brilliant" mind when he comes out later with things like "I see ball, I hit ball."

He still says that, now with a smug matter-of-factness, probably amused at how people are fascinated by that statement of his. He probably still means it, but I'd like to believe that a lot of care, a lot of careful thought and construction go into each of his big innings. But even the cynic in me is defeated when he goes, "I was hitting only the bad balls, but in the dressing room they were telling me I was hitting some good balls too", or something to that effect.

In short, Virender Sehwag = all that's awesome about the Indian team right now. When he fires, he really fires; when he fails, it's not in half-measures, either.

And what can I say about Murali Vijay, other than he was really unfortunate to miss out on a well-deserved maiden ton? He looked delightfully assured and competent at the crease, and not for a moment was Gambhir missed. I loved how he kept the tempo up in the beginning as Viru settled at the other end. He is just so much awesome right now I can't even.

And Dhoni got his second century of the series. Wow. When it rains, it pours, huh?

And what a difference the return of Zaheer Khan has made to the team. Even though he didn't really start pulling his weight until toward the end of the series, just his presence, I believe, could rejuvenate our suddenly-floundering pace attack. It might be the most important plus point EVAH.

The Sri Lankans stuck around, and, uh, that's about it, really. There've been renewed murmurings about the presence/absence of the Umpire Decision Review System (or what the hell ever it's called), with Sanga going as far as to say that a couple of bad decisions cost them as much as 500 runs and possibly a victory or two.

Maybe, but the argument is moot when strong protestations against the newfangled thing are sounding with the backing of rock-hard evidence from the Aus v Windies series going on right now.

Either way, it's like stirring an old pile of stale shit, so.

The other big thing going right now is India's supposed ascension to the top of the ICC Test rankings with the 2-0 win against Sri Lanka. Lot of congratulations and chest-beating going on, tempered, of course, by some well-founded cynicism from other quarters of the cricketing fraternity. I agree, India haven't won enough overseas, the no 1 position is very fluid right now and can change hands frequently, India definitely is not the all-conquering champion side that West Indies or Australia once were. Check, check, check. But for now? That little rankings table reads like the way every Indian cricket fan has always dreamt it would read, for the first time ever. It's a nice moment, and the team and its supporters deserve to savour it while it lasts (except, of course, oh noes! The largely-accepted-for-the-past-eight-years ranking system is suddenly all WRONG because INDIA is no 1! Isn't that all kinds of unnatural? I mean, it's okay when the table shows Aus or SA at the top, cos that's how it'a meant to be, but India? Nah. And, oh, the Evil IPL is Evil. Just in case you'd forgotten.)

It kind of reminds me of my travails with Hindi in high school. I used to hate the language, and I believe the feeling was mutual. I scraped through the subject, until I came to my tenth Boards - the last time I'd be writing an exam for that subject. I was a jingling pile of nerves the day of the exam, and, despite being the most pathetic Hindi conversationist even this side of the Vindhyas, and getting my tenses mixed up practically every other paragraph, I passed with the highest distinction in the exam. "Pratham Shreni" says the certificate, still, and my mind still boggles at the sight. And how did I do so well? Pure dumb luck in that a lot of the questions I'd memorised the answers to made their appearance in the question paper, the fact that I was taking a less advanced Hindi course, and a little bit of innate ingenuity on my part at the time of writing the paper. I was surprised, more than a little pleased at seeing the high ranking, but I also knew exactly how much work I needed to actually put into my Hindi. Certainly I could blame the system for assigning qualifications to people who don't exactly deserve them, for the way the language is taught in schools with more emphasis on memorisation and rote than on conversation and free reading, but that's the way things are. Hindi and I have a much better relationship now - I hope - and perhaps one day I'll be deserving of the distinction I was awarded all those years back.

So, at the end of it all, what am I trying to say, you ask?

I have no idea.

Addendum: Only two Tests in the next 6 months??

Ridiculous. Can't wait for the South Africa tour -- in a year's time from now, I think -- already.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Zip, Zap, Zoom

... and other such onomatopoeic expressions of 'where the hell did all that time go."

'Cause, really? I could've sworn that the Ill-Fated ODI series against Australia finished just now, and already we're in the final Test of a series against Sri Lanka, Dhoni scored his first Test century since the Stone Age (and it is a little scary when I mean that literally), everybody else is helping themselves to centuries apiece, Sreesanth, frickin' Sreesanth, back in the team and producing match-winning performances (not that, of course, I have anything against him or nothin'), India won its 100th ever Test win, and really, what?

Whatever happened to the deliciously slow build-up to Test matches, all that speculation, all that gathering of momentum. Conidering how much resources and how many brain cells are expended on each Test, you'd want to make each of them actually count, yeah?

Honestly? I can't blame Gambhir putting attending his sister's marriage before playing the third Test. After all, your sister gets married only once (hopefully).

Also, it means Murali Vijay gets to open, which, yay! I'd just spent a lot of time arguing with a friend a couple of days ago about how it was certain that Wasim Jaffer would make it ahead of Vijay -- experience, home ground, whatever -- but I'm super-happy he's gotten another chance at wearing the Test cap for India. Hopefully this time he'll get more than a couple of gritty forties and a Run-Out of Awesome.

Also? R Ashwin and Ashoke Dinda in the Twenty20 and ODI squads, leaving out Ishant Sharma. I heartily approve.

I was going to give some -- ostensibly -- deep insight about the first day of play at Mumbai, but then I came across this:



My first reaction was, "Holy hell, that's unhygienic!"

And then it all sunk in and a small part of me died inside.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Live? Live? Am I live? I sure hope so.

Okay. Let me try a hand at this baby.

So, match ten minutes away from the start and India has already performed a miracle:

It has won the toss and elected to bat.

And, uh, unchanged team. Hm... fair enough, I guess. I'd still like to see Sudip Tyagi sometime in the future, but fair enough.

Johnson replacing Hilfenhaus for Australia. Um, okay?

Oh, and Guwahati. Last time we played there, Yuvraj and Dhoni totally pwned Pakistan, so, yay.

8:30 AM: Viru and Sachin opening, Johnson bowling, and Viru does not smack the first ball for four. Will miracles never cease.

Oh wait: he hits the second ball for six. Awesome.

Oh, and he gets bowled off the fourth ball of the over. Viru, you have been Disappointing. In fact, I believe you have regressed to the pre-2008 version of Viru Sehwag. Le sigh.

India: 7/1 after 4 balls of the first over, Gambhir, I think, next in to bat.

Holy shit, the second half of the Delhi duo now goes - Gambhir bowled off the last ball! Johnson, wow.

Dhoni, who ya gonna call?

The Ghostbusters, I mean, Yuvraj Singh.

India 7/2 after 1.

Un-freakin-believable.

After 5 overs: India 23/2.

WAIT. Even as I type, Sachin is OUT off the first ball of the 6 over!

WhatwhatwhatWHAT.

I need to see that again.

So, so, so, Bollinger is bowling, Sachin hits it back, and what the hell he CATCHES it!! Whaaat???

I dunno whether to be glad or to tear my hair out. For one we won't be defined by Sachin again.

For two, we are waist-deep in some serious shit.

Dhoni in, appeal for caught-behind off the very second ball he faces, not upheld, thank god.

DhoninYuvi, please. *cries*

Wow, in the words of Slater, the Aussies are "pumped"!

Oh, and Dhoni, I guess, is not the all-occasions Walker everybody thought he is. Worthy successor to Gilchrist, indeed. :)

After 8 overs: WHAT?

India 24/4, Yuvraj gone, lbw to Dougie Bollinger.

I reiterate: WHAT.

We are nose-deep in shit now. How long before we drown in it?

Raina in to bat.

After 9 overs: GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Raina out.

27/5.

I give up. Even the Aussies can't believe it.

... *sobs*

After 11 overs: 33/5. Ravi Jadeja's first runs come off an outside edge that falls just short of slip and runs for four. You people want to kill me, right?

After 15 overs: 36/5. Things still looking very dire, but Dhoni and Jaddu hanging on.

Ditzy Ritzy's bowling well. So is McKay.

So would any bowler worth his salt in a similar situation.

After 20 0vers: 50/5.

Dhoni and Jaddu hanging there, and that's the most we can expect at this stage, I guess.

And Dhoni's finished 1000 ODI runs for the year, the first Indian to do so, and as far as I know, the only one to do it for three years in a row.

After 26 overs: 65/5.

It's tough for DhoninJaddu, but they have to get out of this rut. They're scoring at just above 2 runs an over and while this might be an acceptable recovery in Test cricket, in ODIs? Not so much.

Tough, 'cause the Aussies are over the Indians like chickenpox, but what's gotta be done... gotta be done.

After 30 overs: 75/5.

Well, I've lost all my will to keep watching this travesty. First ball of the 31st over, Dhoni lbw to Bollinger.

So make that 75/6.

Poor Mahi. All that work for nothing. Bhajji in to bat.

... And Bhajji out, second ball duck. This's gonna end reeeeaaal fast.

75/7 after 30.3, PK in.

... and PK starts with a four. And I smile. Although I suspect it would look like a rictus.

After 36 overs: 97/7.

Keep at it, Jaddu and PK!

After 40 overs: 117/7.

PK and Jaddu beginning to look good. For one, they're going at 4+ an over, which is more than the previous partnerships managed to do.

I vote this the ideal time to take the batting Powerplay and unleash the Pee-Kay.

... and yeah. Dhoni listens (for once) and takes the Powerplay: overs 41-45. Lessee.

After 41 overs: Jaddu has completed his 50! *claps* Great job (although, you know, you were just dropped by Bollinger, ha ha, two drops in two matches for Dougie). Now just keep going, keep scoring. Also, you happen to have a uber-important job with the ball later, so.

After 44 overs: 149/7.

Praveen Kumar just tore apart Super!Debutant (TM) McKay for 14 runs, which included a fantastic six off the very first ball.

PK, marry me.

... I mean, uh, you're finally living up to your all-rounder billing. Yeah, good on you. *laughs nervously and slinks away*

... Uh oh. Jaddu just got out. 149/8. Oh well.

Okay, I must leave, for I still happen to have a life. Will miss the end of the innings and most likely the start of the Aussie chase, but hopefully not much.

Oh, and a five-for for Doug Bollinger! Congrats, mate!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

This is... this is... I don't know WHAT this is.

'Tragedy' seems too light a word to cover it.

Despite one of the greatest one day innings you will ever freakin' see, we lost.

Despite having just 19 runs to get off the last three overs, Tendulkar and a settled Jadeja at the crease, we lost.

What a chase. What a match - shuuure.

But we still lost by 3 runs.

Three. Freakin'. Runs.

PK was in tears after his run-out - inches, centimetres, bring out the smallest measurement you have - signalled the end of the match. I kind of am, too.

'Tis a great pity, Tendulkar carried the entire innings on his back, beginning to end, 175 glorious runs, and yes, I doubted his ability, but I still held out for a century from him today, and I was proved right. Once past 17,000, he soared. Raina joined him after a middle-order collapse and they were perfect.

Then Raina went. Okay, no problem. Jadeja came in and Jadeja was looking good.

Then --

There is this "turning point" question they keep flashing every now and then, right? Listing events from the match and asking us the so-called "turning point"? I figured all that stuff was moot as long as Sachin was there. At whichever stage of the match, Tendulkar's wicket would be the turning point.

And it was, even with 19 runs to get from 18 balls, it was.

Fallout will be interesting: Dhoni's powerplay strategy, his (ridiculous, imo) decision to send in Harbhajan Singh before Jadeja and Nehra before Munaf, will be questioned, among other things.

For now, everybody will just... roil.