Newsflash of Epic Doom

Nah, England haven't won. Yet.

India need 387 runs to win. In just about 4 sessions. Or more reasonably England need 10 wickets to win. In just about 4 sessions.

We await Lord Viru's Pronouncement of India's Situation in the Match (that is, if he scores 2 or a 200. Former, we try for a draw ((operative word being 'try')) or we go full blast for a win and more than likely get it).

Also? We're fielding only 10 batsmen (Rahul Dravid? What Rahul Dravid?) so check, check. check. Hm. Yeah. Advantage England.

Geez, I hate 2 match Test series.

Same old, same old (except it's not supposed to be)

At the end of day 3, the Test match looks like this:

England, first innings: 316 (Strauss 123, Cook 50, Prior 53)

India, first innings: 241 (Dhoni 53, Harbhajan Singh 40, Tendulkar 37)

England, 2nd innings: 172/3 (Strauss, a cool 67)

England lead by 247 runs.

That? That looks like England is going to win. Last thing I need to see after an already crappy day.

A few months ago, I'd've said, "yeah, well, what's new, let's hope we can save this thing", but now? Not now.

Not in my city.

They ain't gonna lose, to freakin' England, in Chennai.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni? FIX THIS.

... That be all.

The cynical Indian fan sits smug (once again, at last)

Formalities, formalities.

Okay, cricket's back, it's great, the general euphoria and gratefulness faded after the first couple of minutes, and it was all back to normal again (for me at least): letting your emotions ride with the ebb and flow of the game (a lot more fun in Test cricket, admittedly), pumping the air in delight with every minor triumph and cursing a blue streak at the TV with every minor failure (what, they never taught you how to field in all of those kazillion cricket academies and camps you went to, you *&#^*^**?)

Yeah, so day 1 was pretty awesome for us, aside from the whole England piling on a 100+ opening stand thing, with Strauss scoring an admittedly classy century. 229/5 in 90 overs makes for dubious reading, particularly on a batsman's paradise like Chennai is supposed to be. It made for alarming reading (for the English obviously) on the morning of day 2 - as Freddie left, making it 229/6. Mm, delicious.

But Matt Prior (there can be no words for how much I dislike this man. None.) and the lower order ensured England finished with 316 on board, and surely after being 160-odd for 2 at one stage, it was a disappointing total to land up with - to say the least. The "odd ball was doing the odd thing" (I swear to God, cricket and its inane cliches) but Chepauk still looked a good batting wicket, and the last time India had batted there, they'd scored more than 600 runs, and Sehwag had hit 319 of them in an innings that has me smile and jump even now. Aside from the major blot of the woefully out-of-form Rahul Dravid, the rest of the lineup was coming in riding some excellent form, and with a lot to prove.

England could not be underestimated, Freddie, Harmison, Swann, blah, blah, blah, but India still held all of the cards at that moment. I skipped my lunch break to catch the live commentary, just in time to be told that England had been dismissed, and Viru and Gauti were striding out to the crease. I remember smiling and daring to speculate on the possibilities of 100 run leads and its consequences.

Hah!

Before you know it, India were 37/3. What in the world, you may ask. You are justified in asking so, and I would say that VirunGauti finally reached that innings, where they simply had to fail, to even out the mojo that had them churning out successful start after successful start for so many games. But the middle order got the memo, right? They could pick things up, right? Things were still under control, right?

Wrong.

Dravid got out for 3. Rahul, please go. That's enough. I'm asking politely here.

Debutant spinner-boy Graeme Swann got both Gauti and Rahul in his first over in international cricket, and all I could say was guys, seriously. First Mendis, then Krejza, now Swann? I want the Indian batsmen to write an imposition: 100 times, "I am NOT the best player of spin in the world. I will NOT underestimate another debutant spinner, part-time spinner, or any player with even a rudimentary capacity to wrap his fingers around the cricket ball and spin it." and stick it to their lockers so that they can have a good, long look at it everyday.

Long, I know. Will be extra painful. How else will they learn.

Tendulkar and Laxman stitched things together for a while with a half-century partnership, before (for god's sake) Panesar struck, getting Laxman caught off his own bowling. (I know, Monty took a catch. No wonder it's not raining) The very next over, Flintoff gets Tendulkar. I was talking over the phone to my mother at that time, an eye on the live commentary, and for a few moments I broke off whatever I was saying, gaping at the laptop screen saying 102/5 (just like that, just like that), mouth opening and closing like some landed fish. I think some vague keening, disbelieving groan must've made its way out of my mouth at that time, 'cos my mother was suddenly asking if I'd hurt myself - why the hell was I sounding like that.

Oh, ma.

Disbelief soon gave out to anger, and I kept cursing as Dhoni made his way out way, way sooner than he had expected to. Yuvraj was present at the other end, and suddenly the sight of "Current partnership: Yuvraj, Dhoni" seemed comforting. How many times had these two worked magic in combination in ODIs before? If there were ever two blokes to really get the team back on track, it was these two. Yuvraj had already hit a boundary within minutes of his coming to the crease, so I allowed myself to be partially comforted. Plus, this was Yuvraj's Big Chance to mark out a Permanent Position in the Indian Test team. Make sure Ganguly wasn't missed much.

But damn, did we miss Dada or what!

Yuvi and Dhoni chugged along for sometime, but Flintoff was bowling one of his inspired spells again. He attempted to work over both Dhoni and Yuvraj, and finally succeeded with the southpaw, having Yuvi nick one to second slip off Harmison, and the score stood at a precarious (I like understatements, 'kay?) 137/6.

Enter Bhajji, who hits a flurry of fours. Score at stumps on day 2 is 155/6, India 161 runs behind. Dhoni (24*) and Bhajji (13*) at the crease.

Not a great position to be in, yeah? In fact, a position so far from great, they'd need satellite phones to communicate, but you know, India always tended to overkill.

Ahem.

You know, I'd always thought of myself as one of those delightful "cynical Indian cricket fans" (better than the cocky ones anyday, trust me), and the series of successful games we'd been having recently bred that bit of paranoia in me, that little voice that told me that we were riding the crest of a wave that was going to crash soon. What happens when VirunGauti fail? What happens when Zaks and Ishu can't work their reverse-swing mojo? When Mishra's wrong 'uns stop surprising batsmen? When Dhoni's instincts backfire? A fielding change gone awry, an unnecessary shuffle of the attack? Won't India lose, and lose badly? Or was this team made of sterner stuff?

All these days, the cynics hadn't got much evidence to show on their plate - until now. See? they say, acid dripping down their lips, dribbling on their chins. A proper 5 man bowling attack and we flounder. Surely the Australian win was more a case of Australia losing than India winning? The team's in transition, the team is out of practice, the players' minds are cluttered, India cannot possibly stake a claim to no. 1 spot at this rate, Indian cricket is going nowhere and the bloody apocalypse is upon us.

Yep, they're sitting smug, all right.

I'm not a cynic, however, how much ever I'd like to think otherwise. I'm just as much of a hopeless optimist, deep inside. Dhoni is still there, an in-form Bhajji is still there, there's been a night to put the day behind them and start afresh tomorrow, and build and build and build and still somehow win the match. Dhoni ain't gonna give up, not with his team. If there is a chance to win, they're going to go for it. Again a test for his leadership. Plus he's the "mama". Chennai's new adopted son. Don't let us down, now, MS, or I'll be going "Enga Area ulla varadhey" (I'm being churlish, yeah, suck it up)

Let's see what happens, though. It's been an interesting Test match, and KP had the first day in the entire tour where he could look back upon the day's cricket and smile in satisfaction - and anticipation. We're gonna get a result, surely, and that's great.

Hang in there, MS, and Bhaj!!

(Plus, what is this I hear about Dhoni and dinner dates and Lakshmi Rai? Mahi, you surely deserve better! *dissolves into uncontrollable sobs*)

A moment of sobriety

For a change, this post ain't going to be snarky, or about fangirling.

This be tough times, for me personally, and for the world in general. Obviously cricket has not been spared.

I refer to the atrocities that happened in Mumbai over a week ago, their ramifications on everything and cricket. Being in Chennai, where a cyclone-induced rainstorm around the same time as the Mumbai attacks moored all residents at home with no electricity and telephone for large tracts of time, I was largely cut off from what was happening. In fact, the internet connections and mobile phone signals went down in my college hostel, so I had almost no way of knowing what was happening outside the confines of the campus, other than the times I could get contrasting snippets of information from my classmates travelling from the city. It was a scary period - and I thought I would tear my hair out. Finally the rain ceased and I could go home and it was with horror that I updated myself on all that had happened. I've never been to Mumbai, as such, but the city's such a symbol and to have such prominent places infiltrated and torn asunder with so much human loss had my gut clench.

What in the world is happening.

Could Chennai be subjected to something like that in the future? Lord, no.

Thoughts eventually turned to cricket, and I couldn't have agreed more with the decision to cancel the last 2 ODIs in the 7 match series. It might've prevented us from drubbing the English 7-0, but hello? Cricket not high on the list of priorities at that time. I was fairly sure that the Test series would be cancelled as well - whatever the lure of money, already subcontinent-phobic players would jump at the excuse to avoid the tour and risk their lives further - but some typical BCCI-an wrangling managed to get the tour back on track. That said, I sincerely applaud the English players' decision - whatever be the motivation - to come back and play the two Tests, as compared to say, the Australians, who even on the best of days describe India as a war-zone to get through in one piece.

The venues have been changed, and Chennai will host the first Test. Unfortunately I can't attend the match, but I'm happy that we're hosting some international cricket. The players apparently are ensconced in uber-security arrangements, but hopefully when they take the field, cricket will once again take centre-stage, and people can enjoy a well-contested match, even among all the fear and chaos. KP and Dhoni have already come out with the right words and gestures, and all that remains is for the cricket to start, and to gauge crowd reactions and the mood and the situation. India will probably not become a Pakistan-esque cricket pariah, but international players are going to feel a trifle nervous before stepping onto Indian shores. Or maybe not for long. Let's see.

Of course, talk about Chennai and cricket is never complete without a word on the weather. We're well into our monsoon, and another cyclone threat - albeit a weakened one - over the next few days could mean a truncated game and another disappointment. It's been sunny over the last 36 hours - but that doesn't mean anything, 'cos all you need to trigger rain in Chennai even in the middle of one of our tortuous summers, is to schedule an international match. I'm sounding bitter? Check out the records for yourselves.

India enter the match as obvious favourites, but you never know. Minds are addled, the situation ain't quite the same, and England have always been a better Test side than an ODI one. It could shape out to be an interesting series, but my prediction is India'll take it 1-0.

It's these kind of horrors that forces a moment of sobriety in all of us, I guess. Introspection, reassessment, a press for unity. Hopefully cricket - and the world, in general - will be better for it.

Seriously, Ricky?

What is it with Australian cricketers these days?

Is this a sudden need for publicity, is this a way to satiate their burning frustration at getting trampled by India, has this been happening all the time before and I just didn't notice, or is it that the Australian cricketers have finally cracked, or what.

'Cos I? Just can't understand the sudden flurry of books and quote-hangers coming from Down Under.

First it was Gilchrist, then it was Roy, then it was Hayden with one of his gems, and now Ricky Ponting with a surely 'insightful' Captain's Diary 2008.

Or maybe it's just a rush to vindicate their stand in the whole Sydney Jan '08 affair.

To show that the Australians were only missing the halos around their heads, and the Indians their pitchforks and horns.

How else can you explain this and this?

Seriously, Ricky?

There's so much vitriol flying around in thin, corroding innocent guises, and it's just sick.

Maybe it's like Harbhajan put it (fantastically, I might add): The Australians were so busy poring over what new sensational secret they could reveal in their 23464th 'book' that they forgot to prepare for the series.

Huh.

And Ricky? Next time you talk about MS and co. being suited only for Twenty20, check this out:

Twenty20: ICC Twenty20 World Cup
ODI: CB Series 2008
Tests: Border-Gavaskar Trophy 2008

My my, that's three on three!

There's so much more I could say, but people both in and out of the blogosphere with better, more delicious methods of expression have said it all.

All I can add is, wow. The Australians? Inscrutable in victory and defeat.

Feet-in-mouth, and last-over thriller thingamajigs

In the case of one Matthew Hayden, one has to wonder.

It'd be easy to say, 'woah, what a case of foot-in-mouth right there', but in Hayden's case, no. It just doesn't seem to be... enough.

Feet with the smelly socks on, maybe? Or is there something caught between his toes he wants to pry out by his teeth? Because, seriously, this:

http://inhome.rediff.com/cricket/2008/nov/13hayden-calls-india-third-world-country.htm

Often we find ourselves waiting with hands on hips for someone to face up or
someone on the sight board to move away or some of those little frustrations
happening with third world countries.

Wow, geez, Haydos, awesome work there.

It's not so much the reference to India as a 'third world country' that bothers me (thought it initially irked me too), or the not-so-subtle whining about the facilities and the hold-ups and the weather (because, seriously? how many times have we heard that excuse? Plus, let's face it, some of it's true). It's just... Hayden's utter and complete LACK of a sense of diplomacy, propriety, or grace. It just makes it so easy to label him a 'sore loser' here, as several people have already done.

Already, just seven months ago, in a similar moments of socks-in-mouthedness, he had called Harbhajan 'an obnoxious little weed' (which I secretly agreed with) and mocked Ishant Sharma, ridiculed a freakin' nineteen year old, and invited him onto a boxing ring with him among other things, on live public radio.

He came out of that - somehow - his reputation permanently scarred, and himself open to endless lines of ridicule that range from 'weeds' to shadow-boxing by the bowler once he got him out.

And then, he comes up with this, as if that weren't enough. I'm sure you mean well, Haydos, but for a grizzled veteran like you, all of 37 years old, with so much India-experience and knowledge of how sensitive people can be here (most recent reminder being monkeygate, Jan '08), you ought to have had some inkling about how badly your 'third world' comment could be taken over here. Which is: pretty freakin' badly.

So yeah, Matt, I'm gonna call you a sore loser. With yellowed socks in his mouth. Or toenails. Ew.

The whole situation is given a brilliant perspective here: http://tcwj.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-am-proud-to-belong-to-third-world.html

Great stuff.

Plus, Haydos?Next time you come to India to play the IPL and the Champions League and the kazillion other Twenty20 leagues and earn millions of dollars, don't think you can win us over again with the interviews and the cooking shows and the broad smiles and the "oh, I love India! So exotic" spiel. You play for Chennai Super Kings, and I hate to hate anybody on that team, because I adore it, 'kay? 'Kay.

So I don't hate you. But seriously, talk about biting the hand that feeds you...

Also!

While beginning this post, the third match of the ODI series between West Indies and Pakistan was in its final moments. Pakistan had virtually won the series, leading 2-0, but the Windies seemed hell-bent on making it 2-1 for the record books. Which is, great. Yeah.

So WI was 205/6 at the end of the 42nd over when I started typing, chasing 274 to win. Required rate wasn't really that challenging, Chris Gayle still there, just completed yet another one-day ton. He took apart the over-rated (imo) Ifthikar Anjum in the 43rd for 19 runs, including 2 massive sixes, and the Windies could afford to smile a bit.

Great, right?

Well, not really.

Next over, Gul (who is MADE OF AWESOME) comes barelling in and removes Gayle and score's at 232/7.

Uh oh.

Then a couple of overs later, Gul strikes again - and again - and the score's 240/9.

Only one possible result from there, right?

Sohail Tanvir finished the final formalities and Windies? 242 all out, losing by 31 runs.

See? The proverbial match pendulum, witnessed within the space of typing out (half of) a blog post. *grins stupidly*

Third match in a freakin' row that they lost from a winning position. The series is 3-0, yeah, but that could've been so easily in favour of the Windies, but I guess that'll happen only when the team begins to show that it ISN'T made entirely of Chris Gayle and Shivnarine Chanderpaul.

I mean, the last over in the first ODI? Gayle century, 20 runs required off the last over for Pak, Taylor, their best bowler bowling, freakin' Kamran Akmal on strike, you'd think the Windies have the match sewn-up tight, but no. Akmal hits TWO SIXES and the other runs and Pakistan won. Second ODI? Bowled out Pak for just 232, Chanderpaul hits a century, and what happens? Pakistan won. Third ODI? Chris Gayle scores century, hits the rampage mode at the right time and the target looks well within sight, and what happens? Pakistan won.

Seriously. The Windies don't even deserve the 'Chokers' tag. Pathetic.

But still, we get the last-over thriller thingamajigs, a thin layer of temporary balm is spread over the much-hurt and ostracised Pakistani cricket lover, as their national team finally gets some international cricket and the sweet taste of hard-earned victory, so all's okay.

Yuvraj the Inexplicable (except, you know, not really)

Eh heh, funny that my last post here, which pimped the Australia-India series so much
(which ha ha, I missed out on blogging upon, cos apparently medical school, cricket and blogs don't mix that well) is titled "Take a bow, Ricky Ponting", because the general sentiment now seems to be "Bow out, Ricky Ponting" (only as captain o'course - before I get waylaid by a pack of wild kangaroos).

I took whatever limited opportunities I could find to fangirl the Indian team however - 2-0 win against the Aussies, and we, well, trounced them. Yeah, roll that round your tongue. A little exotic, yes? But delicious all the same. Along the way, Kumble retired, Ganguly played his last Test, Dhoni took over as full-time captain, Krejza had the Most Unbelievable Debut Ever (dude, that afternoon session on day 4 in Nagpur had me close to hyperventilating for a moment or two, and when he took eight wickets on day 2, all I could do for a few minutes was blink dazedly and repeat slowly, much to the annoyance of my friends, "Eight wickets. Eight."), Gambhir the Rude Midget elbowed Shane Watson the Harassed Angel, Ponting chose to reveal his Boneheaded Self at the only moment when his team looked like they could win anything at all, and Dhoni nearly made my heart explode with love for his captaincy, uber-cool batting and his penchant for Lovely Little Symbolic Gestures - right from carrying Kumble on his shoulders after his retirement in the Kotla Test, to handing one of the stumps to Ganguly at the end of the Mohali Massacre, asking Ganguly to captain the team in the last few minutes of his international career, to requesting Kumble to receive the Border-Gavaskar Trophy along with him at the end of the last Test. So. Much. Love.

... Anyway. That be the backstory now, as we play England in a seven-match ODI series. England, delightfully fresh from theit Antigua Stanford Humiliation proceeded to rub salt in their wound in a way only the English (occasionally the Indians, but then again, not really) can, by capitulating to a second string MCA XI in a most embarassing fashion. KP, for all the Fresh Hope that he brought to the side after leading his team to an unexpected trouncing of the Saffers in his first ever assignment as captain, could only dip his head into his (sexy tattooed) arms and then declare it was a practice match, and that the real evaluation of his side ought to come after they played an international match.

Well, India and England 'clashed' at Rajkot in the first match of the seven-match series today, and KP? The first set of results are out. And they ain't lookin' good.

http://content-ind.cricinfo.com/indveng/engine/current/match/361043.html

Yeah, trounced by 158 runs. What's that blue stuff along with the yellow one underneath the Indians' shoes, you ask? Oh, that's England, dontcha know.

A large part of the huge margin owes itself to the Magnificence of Inexplicable Yuvraj. Let me make no bones about the fact that I utterly loathe this man, but boy, when he lets his bat talk like he did today, all you can do is pick your dislocated jaw up from the floor! This guy, for all the irritation his personality causes me, once again proved to the world that he is bursting to the seams with incredible batting talent. Why he is Inexplicable, of course, is the eternal gripe that even after eight freakin' years in the national squad, he's never been able to make a place for himself in Tests, or even ensured a rock-solid consistency in the shorter formats. His form graphs dip to hideous (in Australia and Sri Lanka earlier this year) and then rise to glorious peaks just as suddenly (like TODAY, dammit).

But if there is something consistent about him, though, is the wonderful dynamic he shares with his captain. He and Dhoni put up yet another 100 run partnership today in double-quick time, and he always seems to play his best these days with Dhoni at the other end.

Talking of dynamic partnerships, Viru and Gauti proved themselves to be the most reliable rocket-propellant in international cricket once again, getting us off to a brisk but solid start. Raina and Rohit also look to be in good form, and Dhoni seems to be carrying forward his excellent form from the Tests, so batting-wise, India's smokin'.

England came out to chase 388 (aw come on, that's easy, as the Saffers will tell you - or maybe not), and quickly slipped to 40-0dd for 4. Yeowch.

KP flexed his muscles for a quick half-century, and Bopara and Broad indulged in some heavy-duty slogging toward the end, but England finally folded up for 229 in the 38th over, losing by 158 runs.

Of course, a stellar effort from the Indian bowlers, but one wonders if the England innings ought to have been finished a whole lot faster. Too many overs from the part-timers (indeed, Sehwag and Yusuf proved to be extremely prolifigate) at a time when India really ought to have gone for the kill - like when England were 70-odd for 5, perhaps? Did Dhoni miss a trick there? Or was it because of limited options? Or did he have something else in mind? Same thing happened a couple of times in Sri Lanka, too. Maybe he didn't want to strain Zaks - after all, expensive part-timers or no, they were going to win the match, and win it comfortably. Bhajji proving to be ineffective (relatively) also messed things up a bit.

For England, well, miserable as the results must seem, they'll take the tiniest bit of heart from KP's form, and Broad's and Bopara's clean hitting, and for India's history of complacency following BIG wins, like this one.

So, England, go ahead clutch at the straws, get your act together, and give us a better contest next ODI!

(... and DO NOT make me regret saying that...)

I wish I could've watched today's match (Yuvraj on song is always a treat to watch), but college and the fact that I am several kilometres away from the nearest TV, made me resort solely to Internet commentary. Not too bad, but following cricket on the 'net can make you mad, with all the opinions and the vitriol and the nonsense that is interspersed by good, solid analyses.