Sunday, November 16, 2008

Feet-in-mouth, and last-over thriller thingamajigs

In the case of one Matthew Hayden, one has to wonder.

It'd be easy to say, 'woah, what a case of foot-in-mouth right there', but in Hayden's case, no. It just doesn't seem to be... enough.

Feet with the smelly socks on, maybe? Or is there something caught between his toes he wants to pry out by his teeth? Because, seriously, this:

http://inhome.rediff.com/cricket/2008/nov/13hayden-calls-india-third-world-country.htm

Often we find ourselves waiting with hands on hips for someone to face up or
someone on the sight board to move away or some of those little frustrations
happening with third world countries.

Wow, geez, Haydos, awesome work there.

It's not so much the reference to India as a 'third world country' that bothers me (thought it initially irked me too), or the not-so-subtle whining about the facilities and the hold-ups and the weather (because, seriously? how many times have we heard that excuse? Plus, let's face it, some of it's true). It's just... Hayden's utter and complete LACK of a sense of diplomacy, propriety, or grace. It just makes it so easy to label him a 'sore loser' here, as several people have already done.

Already, just seven months ago, in a similar moments of socks-in-mouthedness, he had called Harbhajan 'an obnoxious little weed' (which I secretly agreed with) and mocked Ishant Sharma, ridiculed a freakin' nineteen year old, and invited him onto a boxing ring with him among other things, on live public radio.

He came out of that - somehow - his reputation permanently scarred, and himself open to endless lines of ridicule that range from 'weeds' to shadow-boxing by the bowler once he got him out.

And then, he comes up with this, as if that weren't enough. I'm sure you mean well, Haydos, but for a grizzled veteran like you, all of 37 years old, with so much India-experience and knowledge of how sensitive people can be here (most recent reminder being monkeygate, Jan '08), you ought to have had some inkling about how badly your 'third world' comment could be taken over here. Which is: pretty freakin' badly.

So yeah, Matt, I'm gonna call you a sore loser. With yellowed socks in his mouth. Or toenails. Ew.

The whole situation is given a brilliant perspective here: http://tcwj.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-am-proud-to-belong-to-third-world.html

Great stuff.

Plus, Haydos?Next time you come to India to play the IPL and the Champions League and the kazillion other Twenty20 leagues and earn millions of dollars, don't think you can win us over again with the interviews and the cooking shows and the broad smiles and the "oh, I love India! So exotic" spiel. You play for Chennai Super Kings, and I hate to hate anybody on that team, because I adore it, 'kay? 'Kay.

So I don't hate you. But seriously, talk about biting the hand that feeds you...

Also!

While beginning this post, the third match of the ODI series between West Indies and Pakistan was in its final moments. Pakistan had virtually won the series, leading 2-0, but the Windies seemed hell-bent on making it 2-1 for the record books. Which is, great. Yeah.

So WI was 205/6 at the end of the 42nd over when I started typing, chasing 274 to win. Required rate wasn't really that challenging, Chris Gayle still there, just completed yet another one-day ton. He took apart the over-rated (imo) Ifthikar Anjum in the 43rd for 19 runs, including 2 massive sixes, and the Windies could afford to smile a bit.

Great, right?

Well, not really.

Next over, Gul (who is MADE OF AWESOME) comes barelling in and removes Gayle and score's at 232/7.

Uh oh.

Then a couple of overs later, Gul strikes again - and again - and the score's 240/9.

Only one possible result from there, right?

Sohail Tanvir finished the final formalities and Windies? 242 all out, losing by 31 runs.

See? The proverbial match pendulum, witnessed within the space of typing out (half of) a blog post. *grins stupidly*

Third match in a freakin' row that they lost from a winning position. The series is 3-0, yeah, but that could've been so easily in favour of the Windies, but I guess that'll happen only when the team begins to show that it ISN'T made entirely of Chris Gayle and Shivnarine Chanderpaul.

I mean, the last over in the first ODI? Gayle century, 20 runs required off the last over for Pak, Taylor, their best bowler bowling, freakin' Kamran Akmal on strike, you'd think the Windies have the match sewn-up tight, but no. Akmal hits TWO SIXES and the other runs and Pakistan won. Second ODI? Bowled out Pak for just 232, Chanderpaul hits a century, and what happens? Pakistan won. Third ODI? Chris Gayle scores century, hits the rampage mode at the right time and the target looks well within sight, and what happens? Pakistan won.

Seriously. The Windies don't even deserve the 'Chokers' tag. Pathetic.

But still, we get the last-over thriller thingamajigs, a thin layer of temporary balm is spread over the much-hurt and ostracised Pakistani cricket lover, as their national team finally gets some international cricket and the sweet taste of hard-earned victory, so all's okay.

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