So, okay, I don't really have the Gollum-voice, but you get the picture.
The World Cup's underway, and after the first week that consisted mostly of unremarkable minnow-bashing, people are still yawning and waiting for something good to come up. That might start today; after all, today, we have the Saffers taking on the Windies, and come this weekend, three very interesting matches: Aus v NZ, SL v Pak and, of course, the kicker: Ind v Eng on Sunday.
So: looking back at the first week of the World Cup, the trend seems to be the Test playing nations trampling all over the, uh, "minnow"-teams. The ICC has already decided to trim the participating nations down to ten next year, which means, there's not much scope or incentive in the future for the Associates. But hey, given the ass-whuppin' the Associates got over the past week, 'sall justified, right?
I disagree.
1. India v Bangladesh: look, what's this? 2001? Wake up! Bangladesh aren't minnows anymore: they're
minnows with steroids. Force to be taken somewhat seriously, if not entirely reckoned with.
2. Kenya v everybody: I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. For being the semifinalists of the 2003 edition, the African team has been
painful to watch this year. I mean,
come on, their match against NZ lasted less than the duration of a regular T20 match! And it was in Chennai! And some people had the gall to say that the crowd was very thin for that match. Like I've said, if the circus performers have nothing to offer, the seats
ain't gonna fill.
3. Australia v Zimbabwe: On paper, you'd think: yeah, the Zimbabweans
did kind of put up a fight in the first innings. Pity they didn't have a better batting line-up. For the unfortunates like me who actually watched it on TV? SNORING AWAY, I TELL YOU. I didn't sign up to watch Shane Watson bat like Rahul Dravid on valium.
4. Sri Lanka v Canada: I have a couple of uncles in Canada. I tell 'em: try out for the Canadian cricket-team. All you need is to be born in the sub-continent, and have a half-way decent knowledge of how to play cricket. All said and done, though, I liked the Canadian team's attitude. They probably looked the most sprightly and enthusiastic of all the Associates thus far.
5. England v Netherlands: This was the one worthwhile match this whole week. I mean, it was
pure gold. At first, England's shenanigans on the field, the Pietersen-Anderson gaffe, the Swann drop, the misfielding, negligent field placements - England were
losing it. Sure, they won eventually, but Netherlands dragged it till the 49th over, and ten Doeschate was utterly
magnificent. A century - AND THEN two wickets? Awesome.
Every match kind of exemplifies what's wrong and wonderful about this format, I think. But, really. Let the
real World Cup begin, please?