So, in
today's match, Dhoni has created a seismic ripple in the fabric of space-time and rubbished all predictive science by winning the toss. In the team sheet, he presents exactly the same team that gave their names to be listed next to Virender Sehwag as he won the last match he played against Sri Lanka, except Yuvraj comes in for Kohli.
A wise person once told me: questions are hell of a lot more meaningful than their answers, so don't stop asking them.
a.k.a: put up a bunch of meaningless rhetoric to make yourself look clever.
Therefore, I will ask:
Why is Ravichandran Ashwin still left out of the team? Why is Ravindra Jadeja being considered a specialist bowler when he's clearly a.
not a specialist bowler and b.
not a good all-rounder? Why are they dragging around Ashwin without giving a single match to him? Why, is Ashwin Just That Good a twelfth man? Is there a secret art to drinks and glove/pad carrying that he's mastered? Why didn't he suck up to Dhoni enough in the IPL this year? (never fear, Ashwin, the CL is coming up next month; plenty of opportunities)
Why is Rohit Sharma playing? (this question will one day drive to spend the rest of my life in a padded room, I know it)
Has Yuvraj Singh recovered from dengue that quickly? (guess he got the mild version. good for him.)
Why is it that
people now compare Randiv to Trevor Chappell?
a. Quite clearly, Randiv's delivery was illegal. Chappell's 'delivery' at the time, was perfectly legal.
b. The New Zealand batsman did the Full Histrionic Flounce, complete with throwing his bat at the ground in disgust. Sehwag just responded with a, "yeeeaah, whatever, it happens," before somebody in the dressing room showed him a video replay and hissed something in his ear.
c. Chappell did it (quite pathetically) to safeguard what was already a very-likely win (he was bowling to the tail, and they needed six off the last ball just to
tie! Talk about having no faith in your own bowler). Randiv did it in a completely hopeless cause, and what appears to be a bit of petty playground spite ("waah, if I shall not have my win, he shall not have his century! So there!")
Why is everybody playing this up to be a Big Issue? Why is the Spirit of Cricket being brought in here? There is
no Spirit of Cricket. The cake is a lie. Cricket isn't dead, and it isn't a spirit. It's a sport (or so we'd like to believe). A mean, competitive sport. Not one where you have to sit around and talk about life-long psychological scarring just because a dude got a couple of reprimands.
But okay. Let's say it
is a big issue. Why wasn't the Almighty Match Referee not involved immediately? Isn't it his job to Safeguard the Spirit of Cricket? (*cue thunder and trumpet music*) Oh, right, because the
umpires didn't report to him. What a joke.
Also, along the same lines, why was Dilshan, the player, the
senior player with several years of experience in international cricket, given a
lesser punishment than poor put-upon psychologically-scarred Randiv for inciting him to bowl the no-ball?
Clearly, the SLC PR dept was intercepted by desperate appeals from the team management. ("but we
neeed him! Take Randiv away, it doesn't matter, but we
neeeed Dilshan for the next game.")
Also, finally:
Why does Danny Morrison bear a scary resemblance to the
dude who's running against Julia Gillard in the Aussie elections right now?
